Thank You, Blogs I Follow. Thanks For Nothing.

Scaling Mount Talent

Scaling Mount Talent

I love you.

I hate you.

I love your wonderful words, spun out like thread, woven into intricate tapestries that are by turns gossamer light or substantial as a good, wool blanket.  I love your glorious images; photos that capture my fancy and cartoons that tickle it.

I hate when your prolific bounty outruns my limited time.  I hate the oppressive sense of obligation I feel towards those for whom I feel love in even greater measure.

Sometimes I dread your offerings at the same time I eagerly await them.

When woes and obligations weigh me down…
When joys and daily life claim all my attention…
When, whether by choice or necessity, I have been away from you for more than several days…

…my finger hovers hesitantly.  I delay that tiny click, almost dreading the abundance that may result.  The too-much-of-a-good-thing mountain I will have to scale, mental grappling hook and rope in hand.

I have chosen you.  You are the best of the best.  But it is a relief to discover that my WordPress Reader presents nothing new for me to digest today.

Thank you Blogs I Follow.  Thanks for nothing.

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , , | 103 Comments

Freshly Pegged – Lenore’s Thoughts Exactly

Have you ever sent a post out into the blogosphere, absolutely convinced it was going to be Freshly Pressed? And then it wasn’t?

You’re not alone.freshlypegged2

I’ve asked some fantastic bloggers to select the post that had them muttering,”THIS One Should Have Been Freshly Pressed.” A new blogger is featured each week to receive the coveted Freshly Pegged distinction. Participants will be awarded a genuine, simulated “Freshly Pegged” JPEG badge, suitable for posting in a place of honor on their blogs. Or not.

Be sure to read all the great Freshly Pegged offerings to date. But before you do, let’s check out…

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Lenore’s Thoughts Exactly.   Lenore’s tagline says “babbling like a brook”, but I’ve never found her to be a babbler.  In fact, her Friday Drabbles are downright succinct!

She blogs about a wide range of subjects (among them a serious Ben & Jerry’s addiction,) but Lenore is probably best known for her great photos.  She runs a weekly feature of What-the-heck-is-that? picture puzzles that will leave you scratching your head.  Last year she took on Project 366: A Photo A Day challenge that would have put a lesser woman in a coma.  Her photos often feature her favorite subjects: her two, adorable sons.  Those little imps became my favorites, too.

Get to know Lenore Diane, right after you read…

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The Healing House :: A Work of Fiction

I can feel my head starting to clear, as I pull the car over and park. Coming here is like pressing a reset button for my day. Looking at my grandparent’s old house across the street, I let my mind take me back to my childhood.

There was my grandmother, sitting on the steps, waiting for our arrival. Through the screen door, I could see and hear my grandfather, flailing his arms around and griping about something.

I remembered my grandmother’s big smile, when we pulled into the driveway. She’d wipe her hands on her apron and run to us with her arms wide open and ready for hugs.

After the hugging, we walked in to the house, letting the screen door slam behind us. My grandfather would bark, “How many times do I have to tell you … don’t let the screen door slam shut!”

“Oh Grumpy Gus,” my grandmother would say to him. “That’s the sound of visitors.”

“Yes, well, the visitors can close doors quietly, too.” He’d chuckle, while walking into the living room to greet us.

My grandparents died over 10 years ago. Their house sits abandoned, heavily aged due to neglect. Their children, my Mom, two Uncles and an Aunt, are too old to care for it; and the busy life of their grandchildren, my cousins and me, keeps them from breathing life back into the place. No one wants to let go of the property, though. The memories are too strong. Personally, the spirit of this house counsels me through the times when I let my anger get the best of me.

“Anger is exhausting, Thelma.” Grammy would say to me. “Use your power to zap the anger, don’t let the anger zap you.”

My grandmother spent years watching anger zap Grampy. He earned his title ‘Grumpy Gus’ honestly, though his real name was Gerald, not Gus.

When I was really young, I remembered Grampy being a cranky man. I didn’t fear Grampy, but I didn’t go out of my way to spend time with him, either. By the time I was a teenager, my grandfather was a changed man. Any griping or groaning he did was done in jest.

While still young enough to get away with it, I remember asking Grampy what happened. “How come you’re not cranky anymore?” I asked. He laughed out loud and said Grammy told him he had better get over himself or else she was going to leave him. I knew that wasn’t true, but I also knew I wasn’t going to get anything else out of him.

Grammy told me stories about how Grampy would get so overcome with his anger; he’d end up passing out like a man who had spent the day drinking. “Oh, he was never a threat to no one.” Grammy said. “Except the rocks, he sure kicked the heck out of the rocks. In fact, once he kicked a big rock so hard, he broke his toe. Oh Lord, that made him even madder.”

Grammy didn’t recall one specific event that changed Grampy. She said he just passed out after a fit one night and woke the next day determined to never let it happen again.

“Oh, he’d still get upset.” She said. “But, never again did he let the anger get the best of him. He found the strength to zap the anger before it zapped him.”

Unlike my grandfather, I am still a work in progress. My grandmother was always there to encourage me during my fits, and she always told me she knew I’d overpower the anger eventually.

Sometimes, like today, when anger’s energy seems to be getting the best of me, I return here, to their house. I don’t find Grammy sitting on the front steps, and I don’t see her big grin and open arms; but, I feel her energy, and her energy always overpowers my anger.

Suddenly, I notice a glimmer of sunlight shining through the living room window, and I feel a surge of energy come over me. I smile and say to myself, “I hear you Grammy.”

I reach for my cell phone and call my husband, “Honey,” I begin. “It’s time to bring this house back to life.”

.|.

Please note: this is a work of fiction.

Posted in Freshly Pegged | Tagged , | 47 Comments

I Have My Mother’s Hands

My mom is the babe with the dark hair. I’m the kid on the left.

I have my mother’s hands.   That’s not something I’ve ever taken as a compliment – no offense, Mom.

Our hands are broad and short-fingered.   A network of lines criss-crosses both palm and back.  The adjectives “sturdy” and “capable” come to mind when you see them.  They’re milkmaid hands in search of a cow.

When I was a kid, my mother’s hands were rarely still.  I remember them…

wrist-deep in noxious substancesAs the mother of 9 children she handled more than her fair share of disgusting stuff.   Fully 4 little bottoms might be diaper-clad at any one time.  Dad helped, but as a stay-at-home mom, the lion’s share of the doody duty fell to her. Mom was a one-woman bomb squad, at least until us “big girls” were old enough to be sent to work in the doo-doo mines.

defrosting broccoli.  It’s not that Mom was a bad cook; it’s just that the unrelenting drudgery of putting breakfast, lunch and dinner on the table for that many people sucked most of the joyful creativity out of the process.  Her go-to menu consisted of hot dogs, frozen broccoli and baked potatoes.  In the summer she switched to my Dad’s favorite: corn-on-the-cob and BLTs for almost every meal.

up to her elbows in a laundry tub.  With 11 people in the house, the mountain of dirty clothes never really wore down.  All she could do was take a little off the peak when it threatened to hit the ceiling.  Mom spent so much time in our dank basement she should have been a troll.  She never complained about it because it was the only place she could go to get away from us.  We kids never went down there for fear of being pressed into service carting baskets of clean clothes up two flights of stairs.

ink-stained, clutching the edges of a newspaper. My mother is a voracious reader.  The Detroit Free Press, the Detroit News, the local paper, the Wall Street Journal – she’s read them all for years.  Back in the day, sticky little hands would rip down the newspaper barricade she tried to hide behind before she ever finished an article.  Her passions have always been politics, biographies and history.  She has been a proud member of the AAUW and their book club for almost 60 years.   She is still one of the most widely read people I know.

slapping at my Dad’s hand as he absent-mindedly raised it to his mouth to chew on a nail.  Mom is the eternal optimist.  She remains confident she can break him of this detested habit, even though she’s had no luck in 57 years.

wielding scissors.  Her passion for current events and politics leads to a need to share.  Rarely do more than a few weeks go by without a familiar manila envelope showing up in our mailboxes, chock full of articles.  The salient parts are underlined and extra commentary written in the margin.   Hers is the voice of our civic consciences, exhorting us to stay informed, to write our congressmen, to DO something to right perceived wrongs in the system.  Mom is Jiminy Cricket to all of her little Pinocchios.

writing notes.  My mother rarely forgets a birthday, a holiday, or a special occasion.  She takes the time to pick out just the right card (usually mushy), and then underlines the sentiments that really speak to her.   She casts her net wide to keep the far-flung edges of our extended family together.  No matter the card, no matter the occasion, the message she is sending is clear: you are special to me.

bandaging boo-boos.  Over the years Mom has handled more injuries than the local emergency room, not all of them physical.  I remember being home from college one weekend when my little sister Judy interrupted us while we were making up a bed.  Struggling to navigate the shark-infested waters of junior high school, Judy dissolved into tears at the betrayal of a “friend”.  I slipped quietly out of the room, but the image of the two of them seated on the half-made bed remains with me to this day.  Judy sobbed on her shoulder while Mom cradled her awkward, adolescent baby in her arms.  Her capable hand gently smoothed her daughter’s hair, over and over again.

There, there.  Mommy’s here.

Mom doesn’t wear nail polish.  Her hands’ only adornments are her engagement and wedding rings.  These are sparkling testaments to her good taste in both diamonds and men.  She and my father will celebrate 57 years of marriage this summer.

A stroke a few years back has slowed her down a bit, but at 82 she’s still a force to be reckoned with.   She worries that her handwriting is illegible since the stroke, but we all  reassure her: “No, your handwriting was always horrible, Mom.”  Dad attached a bicycle horn to her walker and she gives it a brisk squeeze if she needs to clear dawdlers out of her path at Big Boy.   Going out to breakfast is her favorite sport, which is another feature I inherited.

When I look back on life with my Mom I realize I will be lucky if my hands accomplish ¼th of what hers have done.  If mine can hold even a fraction of the love that her hands have held, I know I will have been blessed beyond measure to have my mother’s hands.

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , | 89 Comments

Freshly Pegged – Thoughts Appear

Have you ever sent a post out into the blogosphere, absolutely convinced it was going to be Freshly Pressed?  And then it wasn’t?

You’re not alone.freshlypegged2

I’ve asked some fantastic bloggers to select the post that had them muttering,”THIS One Should Have Been Freshly Pressed.”  A new blogger is featured each week to receive the coveted Freshly Pegged distinction.  Participants will be awarded a genuine, simulated “Freshly Pegged” JPEG badge, suitable for posting in a place of honor on their blogs.  Or not.

Be sure to read all the great Freshly Pegged offerings to date.  But before you do, let’s check out…

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Thoughts Appear.  I didn’t know Thoughtsy very well last year when I asked her to join the elite fighting force that was responsible for the WordPress coup known as Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.   She didn’t even like that food group as it turned out (what???), but she did not let us down.

Thoughtsy blogs about a wide range of subjects.  Important things like pop-tarts, kittens and horror movies.   She also lets her readers tag along with her as she navigates the shark-infested waters of “relationships” for a woman in her early 30s.

Her movie reviews are my faves.  In Movies Teach Us, Thoughtsy condenses 2-1/2 hours of cinema into a couple of take away points.  These may not be precisely what the director had in mind, but her summaries are generally a whole lot funnier.

Go get comfy at Thoughtsy’s place, right after you read…

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Wolves Are the New Lap Dogs

The Seacrest Wolf Preserve offers a one-of-a-kind experience: a visit to the wolf’s world. For a few hours, I became part of the wolf pack, and those wolves welcomed me with open paws.

Before entering wolf territory, here’s what you need to know:

  • Wolves give muzzle greetings. Just like a dog. They want to lick and maybe even softly bite your face.
  • Wolves also like to greet your hands…with their mouths. Think of it as a handshake….with teeth.
  • No quick or sharp movements. It’ll scare the wolves. (Really? I’m going to scare a wolf?)
  • No loose items allowed except your disposable camera.
  • Wolves like hoodies. Hoods are toys.

Upon meeting the first wolf pack, I got to pet Kiowa and Teton, and I thought, “That’s it. I petted a wolf.” I even turned to my friend and said, “Mission accomplished. 30 Before 30 item completed.”

How was I to know these wolves would take my experience one step further?

When I met the second wolf pack, I met Koko (but let’s spell it as “Cocoa” because it reminds me of chocolate). Isn’t she gorgeous? I love her. I wanted her to come home with me. I’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

Cocoa gave me a muzzle greeting, played with my hoodie, and then made herself at home on my lap.

ON MY LAP.

thoughtsywolf

And there she sat while I petted her with one hand and she lightly gnawed on my other hand. It was like she was teething. Her light biting didn’t hurt at all.

Cocoa sat on my lap for a few minutes. It seemed like an eternity. I loved every second of it.

The wolf encounter was amazing. Not only did I get the physical interaction with the wolves, it was also a nice mix of education (I learned that wolves are a keystone species) and personalized stories (one Seacrest wolf can flat foot jump an 8-foot fence).

If you’re in FL (or even if you’re not), I’d recommend checking out the wolves. It was $15, and I spent about 2.5-3 hours in the wolf enclosures.

It was truly an unforgettable and one-of-a-kind experience that I’ll never forget…and can’t wait to do again!

Posted in Freshly Pegged | Tagged , | 50 Comments

Freshly Pegged – Moi

Have you ever sent a post out into the blogosphere, absolutely convinced it was going to be Freshly Pressed?  And then it wasn’t?

You’re not alone.freshlypegged2

I’ve asked some fantastic bloggers to select the post that had them muttering,”THIS One Should Have Been Freshly Pressed.”  A new blogger is featured each week to receive the coveted Freshly Pegged distinction.  Participants will be awarded a genuine, simulated “Freshly Pegged” JPEG badge, suitable for posting in a place of honor on their blogs.  Or not.

Be sure to read all the great Freshly Pegged offerings to date.  But before you do, let’s check out…

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Me.

I know.

As if it wasn’t bad enough to name an award after myself, now I am giving it to me.  I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t blame you.  Even I am disgusted by this latest move.

In my defense, this really has less to do with ego than it does with a lack of organization.   Due to my poor communication skills and a tendency to do everything at the last minute, the good stuff I HOPED to present fell though and I wound up with bupkes.  Instead of one of the uber-talented bloggers you’ve come to expect in this space, you’ve got moi.

I’m so ashamed.

I had to sort through my WordPress files quick-like-a-bunny to come up with something to post.  My How The Hell Did WordPress Miss THIS Gem? sub-file contains 350 out of the 356 posts I have written to date, so it was a daunting task.  But no amount of blog-slogging is too much to ask when it’s for my readers.  That’s how much I love you.

And so I am proud/chagrined to present this-here post.  Again.

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A Mental Roller Coaster Ride… or Toilet Paper, Toilet Paper, My Kingdom for Some Toilet Paper

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Men and women don’t see the same world.

I’m not saying one vision is better than the other – they’re just different. I also don’t pretend to represent Every Woman, but I suspect this will sound familiar to many. Now that we’ve got the disclaimers out of the way…

The following is a true and faithful account of a real-life event. Come with me now on a roller coaster ride through the female brain. Mine.

Posted in Freshly Pegged | Tagged , , , , , | 100 Comments

My Knee Jerk Reaction Would Be To Kick You In The Knee, Jerk

The kneebone's connected to the - kicking bone...

The knee-bone’s connected to the – kicking bone…

My physical reflexes have never been what they once were.  My mental reflexes are probably worse. Yet if a verbal hammer hits a certain spot in my brain, the guy wielding that hammer is probably gonna get a reflexive kick to the gonads.  Metaphorically speaking.

Here are some of the hammers that trip my automatic response.

For The Love Of God, Give Me the Cliffs Notes Version

What they say: To make a long story short…
My response: Too late!

Anyone who says, “to make a long story short” is a big, fat liar.  No story is being shortened.  People who say this (and you know who you are) never do so until AFTER they have already told you the extended-play version of the tale.  Told it in such excruciating detail that you’re getting ready to gnaw your own foot off to escape, like a fox in a trap.

This is my biggest knee-jerk-reaction temptation.  When I hear “to make a long story short”, an answering cry of “too late!” burbles up from the depths of my being. Only iron-willed self control keeps me from shouting it out.  Usually.

Pythagoras Can Bite Me

What they say: The square root of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the squares of the remaining two sides.
My response: Not only that, Professor…

This favorite response is homage to the intrepid crew and passengers of the S.S. Minnow.  For those too young to remember Gilligan’s Island, the braineiac Professor never missed an opportunity to use obscure, scientific jargon when plain English would have done just as well.  This was especially true when he was dealing with that simple-minded man/child, Gilligan.   Gilligan would then summarize the Professor’s complicated explanation into one, “see Jane run” kind of sentence.

“Not only that, Professor…” cues the speaker that they might consider restating something in a simpler way.  Or it cues them that I’m a condescending jerk myself.

Conduct Unbecoming A Longshoreman

What they say:  @#$*&^!#%
My response: You kiss your mama with that mouth?

A couple of teenage boys were standing next to me in a crowd and one casually dropped the f-bomb.  I punched him lightly on the arm and said, “You kiss your mama with that mouth?”   I know, I know; it’s not my business, it’s freedom of speech and I’m lucky he didn’t punch me back.  Luckily, the young man responded as I hoped.  He looked surprised and had the grace to mumble, “Oh, sorry.”

When did foul curses become acceptable for everyday conversation?  Hows about we remember that there is a time and place for everything?  After all, the expression is “all the world’s a stage” not, “all the world’s a locker room.”

This Tornado Got Any Silver Linings?  Anything? Anything?

What they say:  My husband ran off with my sister, my hound dog ran off with a poodle and my pickup truck died.
My response: Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?

It’s a delicate balancing act to be empathetic when someone is going through a rough patch, and I’m not talking about serious situations.   But when confronted with an Eeyore who only talks about the downside of life’s little challenges, sometimes this reduced-to-the-absurd reminder can get them to lighten up a bit.

Sometimes all I get is a blank look when I say “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”  If they think about it for a while and still don’t get it, they have to add, “I am a slow-witted dolt” to their laundry list of Reasons Why Life Sucks.

Maybe I shouldn’t try to squelch these knee-jerk reactions.  Maybe my funny little responses can help people.  Or maybe they’ll cause the listener to instinctively deliver a swift kick to MY gonads for being such a smart aleck buttinski.

What verbal stimulus sets off your automatic response?

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , | 119 Comments

Freshly Pegged – Go Jules Go

Have you ever sent a post out into the blogosphere, absolutely convinced it was going to be Freshly Pressed?  And then it wasn’t?

You’re not alone.freshlypegged2

I’ve asked some fantastic bloggers to select the post that had them muttering,”THIS One Should Have Been Freshly Pressed.”  A new blogger is featured each week to receive the coveted Freshly Pegged distinction.  Participants will be awarded a genuine, simulated “Freshly Pegged” JPEG badge, suitable for posting in a place of honor on their blogs.  Or not.

Be sure to read all the great Freshly Pegged offerings to date.  But before you do, let’s check out…

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Jules from Go Jules Go.  How I met Jules is a story now lost in the mists of time.  Suffice it to say she has become a cherished BBB (Best Blogging Buddy.)

What can you say about a woman who collects husbands like some women collect Beanie Babies?  Who takes advice from striped rodents?  Who enjoys bacon and vodka with (responsible) reckless abandon?  Who wears mustache glasses “like a rock star”?  Whose mad techno-vlogical skills are the stuff of legends?

What can you say about a woman who puts all that stuff together like mismatched plates that somehow look great in an eclectic, shabby-chic style that some people can pull off?  Who then puts all those plates up on skinny poles and keeps them constantly spinning to the Sabre Dance like that guy on the Ed Sullivan show?

What can you say about such a woman??????

Readers, meet Jules.  Jules, Readers.  I’m sure the two of you will be very happy.

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A Bout of Sincerity

It must’ve been my recent return to poetry, Chipmunks.

Lately, I’ve felt somethin’ coming on. Sometimes I mistake it for melodrama. Or, at best, awkward earnestness.

That’s right.

Serious writing.

Though never insincere, I wasn’t always all guilty pleasures and goofy PowerPoint presentations. In my teens, humor only crept into my writing via dialogue. Everything else was angst-y and maudlin. I filled dozens of journals with lovesick poetry. Some of it wasn’t half bad.

In college, I discovered writers like Bill Bryson and David Sedaris, and realized that was the genre I wanted to pursue: humorous memoir. I’ve always found the truth more profound with levity. I like it when a protagonist’s journey makes me laugh despite the tears.

Nevertheless, the old poetry itch is back, and I don’t want this blog to suffer for it; we all know this place is the Uncle Jesse to my Aunt Becky. So today I thought I’d just quickly mention something a liiiittle more serious. A little behind-the-scenes look at my writing life.

I spend a lot of time on creative exercises and figuring out how to find and follow my passion(s). I handwrite, stream-of-consciousness style, for 30 minutes every morning, first thing. I take a daily walk, and once a week, I try to go on a mini adventure that sparks my creativity. On Sundays, I spend about an hour or two ‘checking in’ with myself, writing about recurring issues and the little miracles that happen when you get in touch with your creative nature.

Artists-Way-stache-glassesThese practices are, yes, a huge time commitment; I shower at night and get up at 5:30 in the morning to write before I drive an hour to work. But these exercises are a lifesaver for me, and if they sound familiar, you probably read about them in The Artist’s Way. Much like blogging, Julia Cameron’s books have changed my life in unimaginable ways.

They’re the reason I volunteered to help Marlene film the pilot webisode of My Parents Are Crazier Than Yours. The reason I had the nerve to attend my first blogging conference, meet up with Rache from Rachel’s Table, and sign up for that web design class.

Thanks to this blog and The Artist’s Way, I’ve identified concrete goals and watched them spring to life. I’ve learned that if you ask for a creative helping hand, and open yourself to possibility, the universe always delivers. Some of you have been the messengers!

I’ve never met Julia Cameron, have no affiliation with The Artist’s Way, and never thought I’d talk about this here, but my blog has always embraced the things we all love -however logical or…not– without shame. And so: I love these books.

If you’re feeling stuck and really ready to make a change, they might help you, too.

Have you ever read any of The Artist’s Way books? What inspires (or blocks) your creativity?

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , | 84 Comments

Get Those Children Out of The Muddy, Muddy!

Peg's Ark

Peg’s Ark

Q: What time is it when an ark floats by your house?
A: Time to call your insurance agent.

Ha ha!  Hysterical, right?  We insurance agents have millions of those gems.  I usually save them for clients.  When they realize I’m prepared to tell every, single joke I know until they buy life insurance, even the toughest clients cave in and sign on the dotted line.  But there’s no time for that today.

Today I’m reporting live from the shores of Great Cat Pee Lake, in the area formerly known as my basement.

We’ve had a little rain around here.

And by a little rain I mean we’ve got water, water everywhere, and nary an end in sight.

My house is nestled in the side of a hill.  Rainwater tends to roll down that hill in a straight path, not noticing that our house is in the way.  Rainwater drops right in through the invisible, gaping holes we seem to have in our foundation in a torrent of seepage.  You might think that is an oxymoron, but it isn’t.  Trust me. At the height of the deluge we had a pump running constantly for 6 hours.  Now we just have to turn it on every hour or so to keep up with the fresh seepage.

As you may know, our cat, Beeby, spends much of her time in the basement due to a tendency toward indiscriminate peeing and gacking.  When you add a couple of inches of water to the gack/pee residue it makes cleanup even more fun.

Lot’s of people have it worse as much of this area is under water.  We’re bracing for more flooding as the water rolls on down from Chicago, and there ain’t nobody happy about it.

I’ve spent the last 2 days alternating between answering frantic calls from waterlogged clients (threatening to rip my head from my shoulders if their claims are not covered) and bailing out my own home.  But I’m never too busy for you.  Let me take a few moments out of my hectic schedule to share some valuable, insurance tips.

Listen up, people:

1) Homeowners insurance doesn’t cover floods.
2) The federal government provides flood insurance, although policies may be issued and serviced by individual companies.
3) Standard homeowners insurance doesn’t cover backup of sewers and drains, either, although many preferred homeowners policies include some ($5,000 is a common amount.)  Many companies let you add this coverage.
4) Homeowners insurance doesn’t cover seepage.
5)  You can’t buy flood or backup coverage once the monsoon hits. In fact, flood policies generally have a 30-day waiting period.

Obviously, individual policies and states will vary greatly, but the basic principles hold true for most property insurance, personal and commercial.

Here’s the bottom line: if you want someone to pay you when water from outside gets inside, do something to make that happen.   You can’t assume it’s covered; in fact, it’s probably not.

What can you do?

Plan A:

-Get yourself a good, local insurance agent.  Call me a cynic, but I don’t think either Flo or that lizard is going to be available to take your call at 10 on a Friday night when your sump pump dies and the basement is filling up fast.

-Take some time with that agent to find out what kind of coverage you have, and what kind you need.  Do this BEFORE you need what you don’t have.

You don’t have to take my advice.  You can always go with…

Plan B:

-Get yourself a good, sturdy rowboat and a couple of oars.  Need a Boatowners Policy to cover that?

I’ll leave you with a little ditty I learned at Girl Scout camp.  This song has come in handy many times over the years to simultaneously awaken and annoy my kids. (this version courtesy of Aby Guevarra·)

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , | 50 Comments

Freshly Pegged – Rachel’s Table

Have you ever sent a post out into the blogosphere, absolutely convinced it was going to be Freshly Pressed?  And then it wasn’t?

You’re not alone.freshlypegged2

I’ve asked some fantastic bloggers to select the post that had them muttering,”THIS One Should Have Been Freshly Pressed.”  A new blogger is featured each week to receive the coveted Freshly Pegged distinction.  Participants will be awarded a genuine, simulated “Freshly Pegged” JPEG badge, suitable for posting in a place of honor on their blogs.  Or not.

Be sure to read all the great Freshly Pegged offerings to date.  But before you do, let’s check out…

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Rachel from Rachel’s Table. I met Rachel through a mutual blogging buddy, Jules from Go Jules Go. Rachel describes herself as a “locavore.” Her blog is mainly about “finding, cooking, eating and serving local, seasonal foods.” She presents yummy recipes with photos so gorgeous the dishes look good even to a confirmed junkfood-junkie like me. I know, right?

Rachel isn’t just about pretty pictures, though. Her latest post, Blogging Against Hunger, is a thought-provoking call for awareness of hunger in America. She isn’t all about serious, either, as the following post clearly shows.

Lovely food, lovely photos, lovely woman. Also completely insane, as I’m sure you’ll agree after you watch Rachel take on the Peppermeister Roulette challenge. Totally nutso.
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Last September the first round of Peppermeister Roulette hit the blog.

Let’s see how HOT Round 2 is, shall we?

If you’d like to learn more about the peppers tasted here, visit Peppermeister’s blog (make sure to tell him Rachel wants a tie-breaker).

Posted in Freshly Pegged | Tagged , , | 35 Comments

That’s The Most Disgusting Stuff I Ever Tasted. Give Me A Big, Heapin’ Helping.

Mormor says "Eat it...or else!"

Mormor says “Eat it…or else!”

TV is full of experts who are eager to explain why we eat too much (or too little).  What I want to know is why do we eat the specific foods we eat?  Especially when that food tastes like slugs dipped in dung, wrapped in sweaty gym socks, then left to marinate in the trunk of a Chevy Lumina in a mall parking lot in Phoenix for the month of August.

I decided to conduct my own scientific experiment on this crucial topic and poll a wide cross section of ethnic groups.  The United Nations would be perfect for my purposes, but since that was out of the question for security reasons, I went with the next best thing; the Tower of Babel that is an IKEA store on a Saturday afternoon.

People were asked to describe their favorite foods, which I lumped into Group A and Group B.  Classification depended on the response I got from the participants, filtered by the food’s placement on my own, personal Gag-o-Meter.

Here’s a sampling of the foods mentioned.

Group A

Birthday cake and ice cream
Reese’s peanut butter cups
Pizza
Fried chicken
Cheesecake
Bar-b-que ribs

Group B

Springerle cookies
Gefilte Fish
Lutefisk
Any other kind of “fisk” whose preparation involves turpentine
Kimchee
Blood pudding
Blood sausage
Any other dish whose main ingredient is “blood”
Headcheese

When asked why they liked a particular food, those who preferred foods in Group A gave variations on the same response:

It’s yummy.

When asked what possible, earthly reason they could have for eating the stuff in Group B, the answers were more diverse, but all involved the same factors:

Family tradition.

As one respondent said, “I’ll never forget how my grandma, Mormor Astrid, used to make lutefisk for me when I was just a small child.  Then she would stand over me with a wooden spoon and beat me if I didn’t eat it all.”

The bottom line here seems to be that we eat stuff that no sane person would eat, because of love.  Or at least some twisted version of it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to dash to make supper.  Tonight I’m fixing a family favorite that my mother always made for us when I was a kid.

Irish Boiled Dinner
4 potatoes
1 head of cabbage
1 ham

Peel the potatoes and cut in quarters.
Remove the tough, outer leaves from the cabbage and cut into 8 wedges.
Fill a large stockpot ¾ full of water.
Put all ingredients in the pot and boil.  2 hours ought to do it.
Remove from water (I recommend wringing out the cabbage leaves.)
Douse with salt and pepper.  Lots of salt and pepper.
Eat it.  And thank God that you have food to eat at all, not like those poor, starving children in Biafra.

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 116 Comments