Little Billy wanted a pony for Christmas. It was all he talked about for months. When Christmas morning arrived, he ran outside and saw…a big pile of poop. Little Billy clapped his hands for joy.
“Why are you so happy?” his mom asked, perplexed.
“Because,” Little Billy laughed “With all that poop, there’s sure to be a pony around here somewhere!”
Little Billy is a dewy-eyed optimist. How about you?
Here’s a simple test to determine where you stand on the optimism/pessimism continuum.
You see a glass that is partially filled with liquid. You think:
1) The glass is half full.
2) The glass is half empty.
3) Who left that damn glass there, and why is it always MY job to clean up around here?
The tensions in the Middle East are troubling. You:
1) Just know that real reforms and a peaceful solution will be forthcoming.
2) Cancel travel plans to Canada, just in case.
3) Hope the neighbors don’t notice you sneaking into your Super Deluxe Long-term Bomb Shelter (solo model) when the time comes.
You come upon a car accident. You:
1) Rush to see if you can help, hoping nobody was hurt.
2) Think “Two minutes later, and that would have been me.”
3) Say “Get that stretcher off the road – some of us have lives!”
Your friend needs a transplant. You:
1) Immediately get tested to be a donor, praying that you will be a match.
2) Share the statistics you’ve found, that even if the operation is successful there’s a 50-50 chance he’ll die anyway due to organ rejection, infection or sponges left in during surgery.
3) Start a business to exploit the untapped need for black-market body parts.
Spring has sprung. Soon:
1) Colorful flowers will burst into bloom after their long winter’s nap.
2) Your car will need daily washing because of all the mud.
3) You won’t be able to get into a grocery store on a Saturday without shoving aside little-leaguers, cheerleaders, and blind kids trying to shake you down with overpriced candy.
Add up each answer’s allotted points and check your score against this handy classification guide:
- 5- 7 points: Pollyanna: You are a classic optimist. Your “every cloud has a silver lining” attitude makes people want to vomit. Take off those rose-colored glasses before you run into something.
- 8-11 points: Eeyore: You are a classic pessimist. In other words, a realist. Your “it’ll never work” attitude will save you from a lifetime of disappointment
- 12-15 point: Grinch: You are a self-absorbed, anti-social, uber-pessimist. Your “what’s in it for me” attitude makes you a natural for public office.