Wanted: Cat Whisperer


Our cat, Beeby, has “issues”. 

Bill and I moved the daybed in our home office out to the living room the other night.   All kinds of junk had been stored under there, including a couple of suitcases.  I piled it all up in the living room.  We were wrestling with the daybed wedged firmly in the doorway, when we heard a small noise.  Beeby was peeing on the suitcase.

Alas, we’ve been down this road before.

We know not to leave plastic bags on the wood dining room floor.  They are sure to be a target.   Last month I put up a sparkly, green curtain to hide the clutter in one of my bookcases.  I let the fabric puddle artfully on the wood floor.  Beeby puddled on the curtain.   Add shiny curtains to the no-no list.

I believe that a peaceful life with pets requires rigorous training and enforcing rules.   I’ve been trained not to put anything plastic-y, shiny or drapey on the wood floor.  By following the rules, I’m assured of a pee-free home.  Except at Christmas.

Beeby likes the Christmas tree.  She sits under it, peering through the plastic greenery and dreaming of being a jungle cat.   It’s the tree skirt that bothers her.  

I’ve washed it many times.   I’ve scrubbed the carpet.   I’ve switched the green side to red.   Doesn’t help.  No matter how vigilant I am, she finds a way to pee on the skirt at least once per season. 

I can never relax and enjoy the twinkling lights.  I’ve got to be the tree-police.   Of course we can’t put any presents under the tree. (Thanks for the PJs.  Why do they smell like that?)  Do I confine Beeby to the basement for a month?  Take off the skirt so she’ll pee on the carpet?  What to do? 

I’m sure it says something about me that I’m locked in this power struggle with my cat.  What does it mean that she is winning?

The latest incident with the suitcase doesn’t fit Beeby’s modus operandi.   It was fabric on carpet.  Now that the rules don’t apply, how do I live with this cat?  I’ve got to figure out why she does this.

Maybe Beeby is looking for attention.  This technique certainly gets mine.   Screamed promises to drop kick her into the next county may not be her goal, though.

Maybe this behavior is a reaction to change.  New objects in her world frighten or anger her, and she reacts with the golden shower.  So what.   Life is change.  She doesn’t think I have to deal with change?   Hell, our kids have abandoned us, but you don’t see me squatting on their beds!

If we keep everything off the floor, and don’t decorate for the holidays, we may be OK.  We just don’t have the funds right now to get the therapy Beeby so desperately needs. 

I’m hoping that we can hang on until 2012.   That’s when healthcare reform mandates our insurance will have to cover feline psychiatric care.

About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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2 Responses to Wanted: Cat Whisperer

  1. Serious suggestion: can you get Feliway in the States? Synthetic pheromone in a ‘nice smells ‘ type dispenser that you plug into the wall. Worked wonders when I re-homed Archie. Also helps if he is attention seeking when we have guests, or is trying to redecorate the lounge in a more grunge style . . if you get my drift


  2. Pingback: Get Those Children Out of The Muddy, Muddy! | Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings

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