Mormor says “Eat it…or else!”
TV is full of experts who are eager to explain why we eat too much (or too little). What I want to know is why do we eat the specific foods we eat? Especially when that food tastes like slugs dipped in dung, wrapped in sweaty gym socks, then left to marinate in the trunk of a Chevy Lumina in a mall parking lot in Phoenix for the month of August.
I decided to conduct my own scientific experiment on this crucial topic and poll a wide cross section of ethnic groups. The United Nations would be perfect for my purposes, but since that was out of the question for security reasons, I went with the next best thing; the Tower of Babel that is an IKEA store on a Saturday afternoon.
People were asked to describe their favorite foods, which I lumped into Group A and Group B. Classification depended on the response I got from the participants, filtered by the food’s placement on my own, personal Gag-o-Meter.
Here’s a sampling of the foods mentioned.
Group A
Birthday cake and ice cream
Reese’s peanut butter cups
Pizza
Fried chicken
Cheesecake
Bar-b-que ribs
Group B
Springerle cookies
Gefilte Fish
Lutefisk
Any other kind of “fisk” whose preparation involves turpentine
Kimchee
Blood pudding
Blood sausage
Any other dish whose main ingredient is “blood”
Headcheese
When asked why they liked a particular food, those who preferred foods in Group A gave variations on the same response:
It’s yummy.
When asked what possible, earthly reason they could have for eating the stuff in Group B, the answers were more diverse, but all involved the same factors:
Family tradition.
As one respondent said, “I’ll never forget how my grandma, Mormor Astrid, used to make lutefisk for me when I was just a small child. Then she would stand over me with a wooden spoon and beat me if I didn’t eat it all.”
The bottom line here seems to be that we eat stuff that no sane person would eat, because of love. Or at least some twisted version of it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to dash to make supper. Tonight I’m fixing a family favorite that my mother always made for us when I was a kid.
Irish Boiled Dinner
4 potatoes
1 head of cabbage
1 ham
Peel the potatoes and cut in quarters.
Remove the tough, outer leaves from the cabbage and cut into 8 wedges.
Fill a large stockpot ¾ full of water.
Put all ingredients in the pot and boil. 2 hours ought to do it.
Remove from water (I recommend wringing out the cabbage leaves.)
Douse with salt and pepper. Lots of salt and pepper.
Eat it. And thank God that you have food to eat at all, not like those poor, starving children in Biafra.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Few things are as disgusting as the smell of boiling cabbage. I’d like an order of Group A please.
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Would you like fries with that?
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No thanks, that would be so unhealthy.
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I actually really like boiled cabbage…and yes, I was raised on it. I never make it though, because my husband (who is NOT a picky eater) hates it. I have to go to Mom’s if I want cabbage!
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I actually like it, too. Shhhh – don’t blow my image.
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Thank goodness, I never had to eat anything in group B! Great post!
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Me neither! Except maybe the cookies.
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It seems like many people have a sado-masochistic relationship with food.
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So true. Like me and Group A. I love those foods, and they love to hurt me.
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LOL i am never ever the group B person. I can eat everything. Sometimes my nany hits me sspoon for eating that much 😀
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Good for you for avoiding the dreaded Group B.
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Yeah, the only way you could possibly get me to eat any of the things in section B is by standing over me and beating me with a wooden spoon. And even then . . . I may just take the beating.
You know, that Irish meal would be better if you use chicken broth instead of water. Just saying . . .
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Good suggestion. The next time I’m going to boil the life out of my dinner for a couple of hours, I’ll use broth instead.
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you are funny, thanks for the morning laugh!
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You’re welcome! Thanks for stopping by.
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I think I’ve had everything in Group B except Lutefisk – some of them very often. But it’s not a family tradition thing for me. It’s mostly dares.
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Well, as long as you’re making money out of the deal, that’s OK. Which reminds me…
You have a number of restaurant reviews from Ann Arbor on your blog, right? We went to an Ethiopian restaurant there a couple of years ago. Add “most every goopy, slimy and spicy dip that you’re supposed to eat with your fingers at an Etheopian restaurant” to the list. You can decide which group.
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Haha. Yeah, I’ve been there – Blue Nile. Was several years ago in pre-blog days. Can’t remember meal much but recall hating it.
Give me a shout if u find urself in the area again!
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Peg! You cracked me up!!! Almost spewed my coffee when I read about our traditional Irish, boiled, (and hard) dinner. Yup, 2 hours ought to about kill it. Good times.
Wondering how I am able to read, let alone reply to your blog today? Well, lots of schools closed today because of ice and/or flooding. Yippee! Too bad I’ve got taxes and other chores to do.
Hope your day is great, and would it stop raining already? Been raining hard all week, hence the flooding.
I need some sunshine!
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I WAS wondering. Congratulations on snagging a day off to get all those chores done. That means you have the weekend to play.
Even though Mom always called it New England Boiled Dinner, we knew what it was, didn’t we?
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Ooh, that’s tricky. I could easily confuse “New England Boiled Dinner” with a clam bake, which is definitely a Group A meal.
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That IS confusing, hence the renaming. Mom was trying to fool us, but we recognized the cuisine of her home country nonetheless.
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Let’s not confuse Mom’s NE Boiled Dinner with the Low Country Boil Dinner of Charleston, SC. That.Is.Yummy!!! Shrimp, potatoes, corn on the cob, sausage. Pat’s made that every fall since our trip to SC, for the first football friends get together. Definitely a Group A repast!
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I must confess I had to look up lutefisk. My kids still make fun of the liver and onions I made a couple of times when they were young – I gave up the concoction decades ago. Unhealthy anyway!
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What? I thought liver was super healthy? I don’t mind it that much, but it’s not something I would ever make, or order at a restaurant. So I guess that’s why I haven’t eaten it in 30 years.
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What the heck is lutefisk? I think the only thing I’ve ever had on that list is blood pudding, and I was in Ireland visiting so you have to try the local food. I’m trying to think of disgusting things I ate as a child. I guess scrapple could possibly fit into that category. They used to make it out of all the ground up pig leftovers but now, I think it is made with pig liver. I still like it, even though it gives me death heartburn.
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You are SO much braver than I. When we were in Ireland I seriously considered trying the black pudding, but something stopped me. Maybe the thought that eating something like that is SERIOUSLY INSANE. We went with the white pudding instead.
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I’ve never even heard of the first 4 items…in Group B, not A.
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Sorry to besmirch your gross foods innocence. Just pretend you never read that part.
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I’m Irish, we have the worst food ever.
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Except for soda bread – I’m rather partial to that stuff. (yum!) And I discovered arugula (rocket) in Ireland, and I put it on most everything now.
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I had to google over half the items in group B. I’d rather eat from a trash dumpster.
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…adding “Dumpster food” to Group B.
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It is important to cover all food groups!
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For me, peanut butter is a Group A food, but I have this theory — based on some research that was almost as scientifically rigorous as your Ikea experiment — that if you didn’t grow up eating peanut butter, you won’t like it as an adult.
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I’ve often wondered that same thing, but about sweets. If you grew up on a deserted island with only fresh fish and banana leaves to eat, would ice cream make you throw up, or would you STILL think it was nectar of the gods?
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I seriously had to google most of list B and just reading the descriptions has made me feel decidedly unwell. Give me the ribs and I’ll be happy 🙂
Luckily my mum couldn’t cook when I was growing up so we were brought up on burnt / frozen fish fingers with chips instead of that vile ham thing you were describing.
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Oh, we had our share of burnt/frozen fish fingers as well. That was on the menu every Friday during Lent.
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The only gross thing I remember my mother ever trying to feed us was cow tongue, because it was very cheap. I’m happy to report, I did NOT carry on that tradition.
Wonderful post!
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I used to eat cow tongue, but was told it was corned beef. If I wasn’t around in the kitchen one day during ther carving process, I might never have known.
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Oh, we weren’t told it was tongue. We were told it was ‘beef,’ which I suppose technically, it was. But I knew it didn’t taste right. I kept protesting till my mother fessed up. We Sheldons with our sensitive taste buds know these things…
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Well…I didn’t skip too many meals as a kid. My mom may have been able to stretch a few meals a little further had she been more forthright about the actual anatomical roots of the cut of meat we were being served. Then again, not all of my brothers were quite the omnivore that I was.
Despite my ability to ingest all sorts of sketchy fare, as recent news article has all but ruined calamari for me. I’ll spare you the details.
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“the actual anatomical roots”—Hahaha.
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I’ve been known to eat roots as well.
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Adding “tongue” to the list. And, after watching “Chopped” last night, sheep heads (urp.)
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Yeah, Carrie, I wouldn’t want to taste any part of an animal that at one time could taste me back.
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Haha. Exactly!
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My family used to go nuts for Swedish Hardtack. They would take orders and make day trips to pick up supplies for aunts, grandparents and cousins. They would slather it in margarine and carry on like they were Godiva chocolates. I didn’t get it. To me it tasted like old cardboard but, because they loved it so much, I pretended to enjoy it, too. Perhaps I’ll hunt some down before my mother’s next visit. Ah … nostalgia.
Great post! We all do many things “for love” … and EATING is certainly among them.
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Just cut up the box from your last Amazon order, slap some margarine on it and say “ah, those were the days, weren’t they, Mom?”
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I can’t even believe that people eat gefilte fish. It’s not like they swim around in the ocean. It’s parts of crappy fish all molded together into a lump, and then stored in a gloppy gelatinous solution. I’m Jewish, and I can’t bear it. Feh. 😉 I can’t believe no one mentioned bacon. Seems like people mention bacon about EVERYTHING these days. It’s practically a sex toy. Oh wait, it is.
http://www.baconlube.com/
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Ewwwww, I was deliberately avoiding bacon because you’re right – it’s EVERYwhere.
And I thought you HAD to eat gefilte fish if you were Jewish. Isn’t dissing gefilte fish enough to get you drummed out?
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Count me into Group A — except you can have my Reese’s,
And the Irish dinner? My sister made it with green beens instead of cabbage and only cooked it for 30 mins. It’s actually good.
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I kind of like it, but I think that’s just because of all the love/family associations wrapped up in it.
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Dennis Leary said the funniest thing once. He said “I always wondered how the Irish starved on an island surrounded by fish. It was because they weren’t made into fish sticks….
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Ha! That was another childhood favorite, as I said to egills.
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What about those of us who fall in neither group? Don’t get me wrong, I’m no groupie, but I’m feeling left out…
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OK Lorna, give me an example of each group for “Your people”.
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Well there are those that eat most food groups, but avoid the junk food and some of us who are vegan and one of me who avoids gluten and sugar as well as being vegan and junk food free. Okay, stop laughing!
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I’m not laughing, Lorna, my jaw just dropped! Girl, no wonder you’re in such good shape. Not just the health aspect, but it must take hours to put enough food you can eat together to make a meal!
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The only thing in Group B that I’ve eaten is blood pudding/sausage. Since I grew up in the UK, it was required. And it’s actually not bad if you can get past the name.
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But I can’t get past it, Ruth. I just can’t.
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Philadelphia’s contributions – Group A : Cheeseteaks Group B : Scrapple
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What do you mean? I love to play Scrapple. I especially love it when you land on one of those triple word scores with a word like “xylophone”. If Philadelphia invented that, it should hold its head up high.
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I see there you made a little mistake. I made a similar mistake once when I almost ate a steaming bowl of Kraft Macaroni and Parcheesi.
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Ouch! That’s sure to have your digestive system all Boggled up.
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It certainly would’ve been dicey.
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I’m sure it would have caused me Trouble….I might have even needed an Operation!
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…but that’s not a Risk I took!
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I should impose a Monopoly on the comments…Sorry!
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No, you already HAVE a Monopoly on the comments. You probably mean a moratorium, but I’ve never heard of that game. Just giving you a little Clue, but I don’t want to sink your Battleship.
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Touche”
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I can’t reply at the bottom of your conversation, which is where this comment belongs – alas that’s not important right now. What is important is that I share with you the fact that the dialogue between the two of you with the games was brilliant. Nicely played.
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I think the Swedish are particularly masochistic with the food. Not only do they have the -fisk family but they also add saffron (an expensive spice that smells like it was derived from Bentley tire rubber) to their sweet treats. It is about suffering. And being grateful for the suffering. I am grateful for the post. Thanks for the chuckle.
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I thought you were going to say “thanks for the suffering”. In either case, you’re welcome.
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My Grandma made headcheese! I brought some to my college friends when we had an ethnic night. Everyone gagged.
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I’ve never had the, er, pleasure. erp.
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I feel a little disappointed. You see, I had my first Ikea experience this past Saturday. It was amazing. I had heard the rumors – I’d heard the praise – but I had not experienced it for myself – until last Saturday. Wow. WOW. So much great stuff! So nicely priced! Wow. WOW!
Who needs any food from either Group A or Group B when you are roaming the rooms in Ikea. But, let’s keep it real – I ain’t having none of that stuff in Group B.
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Jealous here. The closest Ikea is an overnight drive away. *sigh*
I did order our new bath vanity online…it’s lovely.
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It’s about 1-1/2 hours away and you’re inspiring me to roadtrip tomorrow – I LOVE that place!
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Were there people there from every country in the world? That place is a melting pot!
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One word. Tums.
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Word to live by.
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I second Lenore’s comment above. Excellent ‘game’ play, Peg and OnePoint! Really clever. I truly enjoyed. And was envious. And was thrilled. And love to see this kind of word play. COOL!!! Tanks!
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I’m not up to Dave’s level in the punny repartee – I just provided the bookends.
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There are just some things I cannot eat as an adult after having to eat them as a child and your last sentence is almost exactly what my father used to say as he dished up boiled cabbage and spinach or mashed potatoes, pumpkin and squash. I shudder at the thought.
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HAVE to eat it being the operative word. Food carries a lot of baggage sometimes doesn’t it?
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All of a sudden I’m not hungry any more.
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This is a great diet aid, isn’t it?
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Sure works for me!
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And we wonder why we have some trouble with weight.
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I try hard not to eat anything with the words ‘blood’ or ‘head’ in them.
As for the boiled dinner? My mom is half Irish and let’s just say she boils that stuff so long I can still smell the cabbage she cooked 10 years ago. She used to threaten us kids with a spoon if we didn’t eat it and it was absolute torture. Who wants a big steaming bowl of carrots, onions and cabbage that all taste remarkably similar to dishwater?
But what’s worse? Jim’s side is German. Just one sniff of sauerkraut and I’m running away screaming.
Now peanut butter cups? There’s a meal.
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Never eat anything with the words blood or head is a rule you can’t go wrong with. Except Lemonheads.
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Hey Peg, I’ve got an idea on my blog that I’m trying to get support for. Would you mind taking a look and if you like it would you give it a re-blog or share in any way you like? I swear this isn’t spam.
http://thephilfactor.com/2013/04/13/the-anti-social-network-lets-fix-facebook-if-only-for-a-day/
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I sure remember my mom telling me to eat just a few bites of her pot roast because the kids in Biafra were starving. My mom cooked a pot roast most Sundays, and invariably it was just like eating shoe leather. The next day she would grind it in a meat grinder and make meat loaf. It was still as tough as shoe leather, only you didn’t actually have to chew it anymore.
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Haha!
It’s pretty bad when you need a meat grinder to do your chewing for you. Isn’t that funny that our mom’s used the same threat?
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Things I grew up with:
Pickled Herring
Liver and Onions
Schweinshaxe (pork hock & Sauerkraut)
Beaten Eggs with Wheat Germ (yes raw and beaten to a fluffy fulness)
Chitlins
Pigs Feet
Things I have since been exposed to and found disturbing:
Fish head soup (Singapore)
Sharkfin soup (Hong Kong)
Wasp Crackers (Japan)
Bull Penis Stew (Singapore)
Haggis (Scotland)
Chicken Feet (Singapore and Bahamas)
Blood Pudding (Ireland)
I could go on, need I?
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Val, I made Schweinehaxen just a couple of weeks ago! Of course no one else in the house would have any but hey, I’m not complaining.
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I love a good Irish Boiled Dinner. I even crave it sometimes. Other than that I am with everyone else. NO B list for me.
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I like it too, sometimes. But I don’t know if it really is good or if it’s just my fond associations.
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Don’t diss the Blutwurst. But it has to be a good German one from the deli. We used to take it to school and drive the other kids over the edge with our yummy sandwiches!
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Oh, and your board game exchange reminded me of that episode of Green Acres when Lisa complains about playing Monotony, Scribble, and a third game that always escapes me … but I’ll think of it eventually. 🙂
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I like that show! I sometimes think I’m Lisa stuck here in the country.
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‘Circus Peanuts’ must have just been edged out in group B…
*gag*
🙂
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Consider them added.
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I never could stand cabbage entrees until I started cooking for myself and learned that it’s much more pleasant to smell while cooking AND eating, if you saute the cabbage in a skillet, rather than boiling it…
But maybe cooking it that way breaks tradition….
Lots of pepper helps, too…
🙂
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Having any kind of flavor goes against the tradition, but I’ll have to try that tip.
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🙂 Wow – had I known I was messing with tradition, I would never have posted! 🙂
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It’s OK…this time.
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Any ‘three strikes and you’re out” rules I should know about?!?
LOl
🙂
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I recently visited IKEA…. But I was drunk. It’s the only way I could have done it. I applaud your braveness.
Hugs!
Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi
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Hey, you must have been the chick who bumped into me in the slipcover aisle!
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Boiled cabbage? I’ve never even heard of it! I prefer to stuff my cabbage in a jar with some salt and let it fester in a cupboard for a few weeks before eating it. “Bacteria makes things better”… is that how the old saying goes? 😉
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I know you swear by that stuff and I’m going to try your recipe…as soon as I lay in a supply of mason jars. Most definitely probably.
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Um, I like boiled cabbage and potatoes and ham. Sounds yummy. I cook it in my crock pot on the truck from time to time. The smell of it cooking gets me hungry. I must be weird.
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No, I like it too. The thing is my Mom would boil the HELL out of it, until the cabbage was limp and the potatoes were mush.
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Oh, that’s no good at all! Worse is when it gets forgotten and burns. I accidently did that once. Worst smell ever.
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