Category Archives: General Ramblings

Deep thoughts on the human condition.

My Life Is A PERT Diagram

com·pul·sion noun \kəm-ˈpəl-shən\ 2:  an irresistible persistent impulse to perform an act (as excessive hand washing) I have a little behavioral quirk that I call Hyper-Efficiency Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  You might call it Weirdness. Here’s a recent example. A television … Continue reading

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I Am Not Jennifer Tucker

Jennifer Tucker wears Manolo Blahniks. I wear Easy Spirit Fun-timers Jennifer Tucker shops at Saks. I shop at Big Lots. Jennifer Tucker is first in line on the day they have the latest iPhone. I am first in line on … Continue reading

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Did You Get Your Songfluenza Vaccination?

I’ve been humming the theme song from “Gilligan’s Island” all day.  This brain worm reminded me of the time I got Songfluenza so bad, I barely escaped with my life… ========================================================== I’ve picked up a nasty virus.  It’s just getting … Continue reading

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This Would Be Funnier If It Happened To You

Tragedy + time = comedy That famous adage is oh, so true.  So is this one that I just made up: Tragedy + it happens to somebody else = comedy That’s the basis of all those Funniest Home Video shows.  … Continue reading

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Have You Made Your Lunar New Year’s Resolutions?

Happy New Year!  Friday, January 31st marks the Lunar New Year, and you know what that means.  If you’ve already blown your regular New Year’s resolutions, this is your chance for a fresh new start.  Except, obviously, Lunar New Year … Continue reading

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What Not To Say During The Polar Vortex

The next person who says “cold enough for ya?” to me is gonna get an icicle to the jugular.  I’m not kidding. Don’t say it. OK, so half the country is suffering through the nightmare of a polar vortex.  It’s … Continue reading

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I’m Absolutely Sure That Everything I Believe Might Possibly Be True

“Obama is a communist.” “Republicans hate women.” “Your brother got cancer from drinking Coke.” These are actual things that real people said to me during the past week.  Each statement was delivered as fact.  With firm, fist-pounding-on-table certainty.  With an … Continue reading

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If You Don’t Post This On Your Facebook Page It Means You Want Me To Die

Not counting Freshly Pressed, this is the post that gets the most views on this blog. It’s clear that the topic is one of grave concern for all, so I’m reposting as a public service. You’re welcome. I have a … Continue reading

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She Really IS A Maineiac

Sometimes one encounters a work of art so perfect, so moving, that one is compelled to share it with the entire world.  For me, that day is now, that art is this picture here. My friend Darla over at She’s … Continue reading

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My New Year’s Resolution: Screw That

I sat down today to list the many ways in which I stink. This annual cataloging of faults (with accompanying promises to do better) is a practice better known as making New Year’s resolutions. Coming up with raw material was … Continue reading

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