T-Shirtable Quote Of The Week – Valentine’s Day Post Game

Posted on February 15, 2013 by pegoleg

Valentine’s Day post-game wrap up.

valentines-sex

Posted in T-Shirtable Quote | Tagged , , , | 29 Comments

When Writing Your Obituary, Honesty Is The Best Policy…Honest-ish, Anyway

Posted on February 14, 2013 by pegoleg
RIP Peg-o-Leg. No, really, that's me.

RIP Peg-o-Leg. No, really, that’s me.

I’m going to die.

Oh, don’t worry – it won’t be anytime soon, at least as far as I know.  But someday, for sure.  We’re all going to die.  It’s one of those inconvenient truths that most of us don’t want to face.

A wise person prepares for this eventuality. Some concentrate on getting straight with God.  Others spend quality time with their loved ones. Still others pick out their caskets and plan their funerals.

These are all worthy pursuits, but don’t neglect the most important thing, writing your obituary.

Your obituary is the most important essay of your life.  This summation of you is probably the only time your life story will be printed in the newspaper for the world to see.  (This assumes you never get a Nobel Prize or shoot off a machine gun from the bell tower of your alma mater.)

Such a vital task shouldn’t be left to chance.  When the sad day arrives, family members will be too grief-stricken to do a good job.  Even worse, this little chore might be left to an impersonal funeral director who didn’t even know you.  They’re sure to leave out all sorts of important things.

That is why I suggest you write your own obituary.  I have.  Here’s my latest draft:

Today, choruses of seraphim and cherubim sang as Heaven welcomed home beloved wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, sister-in-law, cousin, great aunt, second cousin, daughter-in-law, mentor, teacher, idol, practically a model, trusted agent and friend, Peg-o-Leg.

She was born in Michigan not too long ago, the true joy and absolute delight of her parents.  They also had some other kids.

Peg grew daily in beauty, wisdom and accomplishment through childhood.  In high school she was prom queen, homecoming queen, star of all the musicals, salutatorian, valedictorian, was voted Most Likely To Succeed and Most Popular while still being really nice to everybody, even the nerds.

Her hometown waved a fond yet regretful farewell when she left for Michigan State University.  During her Spartan career she was Campus Sweetheart all four years, not that she cared about such things.  Peg was a real Renaissance woman, garnering awards in the arts, sciences, and all other areas of study.  She had a keen thirst for knowledge the likes of which her professors had never seen before.  She graduated with a BA in business administration.

Though courted and feted on all sides, Peg gave her heart and hand to Bill in a ceremony that many likened to the Charles/Lady Di wedding, but with longer lasting results.  They were blessed with two daughters, Liz and Gwen, who were the most wonderful children to ever come down the birth canal.

In addition to her full-time duties as loving wife, mother and insurance agent, Peg found time to indulge in a few hobbies.  A greatly abbreviated  list of her accomplishments (really, REALLY, greatly abbreviated, a lot) includes:thanksgivingpeg

  • Sailed around the world on a 20-foot ship that she made in her craft room, living solely on food she caught herself or got from friendly natives in trade for handmade, recycled woolen handbags
  • Cured cancer (with a little help from a science nerd she was nice to in high school)
  • Her blog, Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings, was a permanent fixture on the WordPress front page, inspiring them to rename the honor previously known as “Freshly Pressed” to “Pegly Pressed.”  
  • bolshoi-balletpeg Sang The Flower Duet (both parts at once) so beautifully that, as critics said, “the angels wept”
  • Danced the lead in Swan Lake for the Bolshoi Ballet as honorary Prima Ballerina
  • Her first novel shot to the top of the New York Times Best-Seller List and remained there for 4 years, as did each of her 78 subsequent works.  The resultant comparisons with previous literary giants had many pundits saying, “Shakespeare…who?”
  • That same first novel was chosen Oprah’s Book Club’s Top Pick Of All Time, which led to her deep and lasting friendship with Oprah, who will deliver her eulogy.
  • Ran with the bulls at Pamplonarunningofthebullspeg.  She started out behind the bulls, but quickly passed them.

Those who knew Peg said she didn’t look a day over 45 35, with her smooth,  wrinkle/stray hair/liver spot-free face and still va-va-voom, hot body, which was totally all natural and had nothing to do with cosmetic surgery, no matter what some spiteful, old cats might say.

Space limitations prevent us from listing the whole roster of grieving family members and friends who survive her.

Rest in peace, Peg-o-Leg, gone much too soon at the age of ______.

1960photopeg

A recent photo of the dearly departed.

You’ll want to have a really good head shot ready to go along with the obituary.  Maybe go to one of those glamour photo places, but don’t get anything too slutty.  Remember this is for posterity.  Make sure your hairdo and glasses aren’t too trendy, or the photo may look dated in just a few years.  If you pop off at 90 and your picture shows a 17-year-old with a beehive hairdo and cat’s-eye glasses, people might suspect it wasn’t taken recently.

Don’t be tempted to substitute a celebrity photo for one of you.  No matter how much you thought you looked like Elizabeth Taylor when you were alive, people probably won’t believe that a picture of her as Maggie in Cat On A Hot Tin Roof is you.

One more thing…I sense a little skepticism about the accomplishments listed in my obituary.  While it may be true that I haven’t actually done one or two of the items on that list yet, keep in mind that this won’t be published for many, MANY years to come.

I’m sure I’ll get around to doing all of that stuff before I kick the bucket.

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 105 Comments

This Stuff Is Even Better Than Whale Vomit

Posted on February 11, 2013 by pegoleg

beebygack

If you’re like me, nothing captures your attention quicker than a headline about whale vomit.  That’s why I jumped on the following article, which recently ran in the UK newspaper, the Mirror.

Dog walker finds smelly lump of whale vomit on beach that’s worth £100,000

If we can get beyond the misplaced modifier in the headline (was it the beach or the smelly lump that was worth £100,000?) to read the article, we learn that lucky dog owner Ken found a 6-pound “rock” of ambergris while walking his boxer, Madge.  Ambergris is a rare, waxy substance that is used as a base for making fine perfume.  It turns out that ambergris is French for “whale gack”. Investigating further, we discover that £100,000 is British for “oodles of money”.

I’ve yet to come across any whale vomit while walking our dog, Sally.  Obviously, we aren’t walking in the right places.  That may have something to do with being landlocked in central Illinois. She did come up with a fresh squirrel’s foot the other day, but I think those are used more for making luck than perfume.

It’s OK if Sally doesn’t find any ambergris, because I don’t have to rely on chance beach encounters for my supply of animal vomit.  Our cat, Beeby, is a veritable gack machine.

Beeby has a sensitive stomach.  She throws up constantly, leaving her calling cards all over the house.  I’ve been looking at this as a bad thing as I may have mentioned before, but how wrong I was!

If a gross, smelly rock from a big fish is that valuable, how much more so would be the intestinal slurry of a cute little kitty?  Beeby is my ticket to wealth!   All I have to do is harvest the regurgitated gold and get it to market.

Are any of you readers highly placed in the French perfume industry?  If so, spread the word.  I am now taking offers for a rare and costly perfume base.

How much am I bid for this exquisite chunk of chatvomir?

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , | 62 Comments

If You Don’t Repost This, It Still Means You Want Me To Die

Posted on February 5, 2013 by pegoleg

Misty at Misty’s Laws did a post recently about weird search terms that lead readers to her blog.  That inspired me to go down to my stats dungeon to find out how non-subscribed readers stumble into this little piece of heaven.

Fortunately, people aren’t getting here by searching on all kinds of weird, sexual fetish terms as so many other bloggers have reported.  (That could read “unfortunately” if that is your criteria for a successful blog.)

Although I haven’t had any “platypus love – is it wrong?” kind of questions, I was interested to see proof of something I’d only casually noted before.  A lot of people, using a variety of search terms, get directed to the same one of my posts.  This accidentally popular post got the usual views and commentary when it was first posted.  Ever since then, however, it has had a steady stream of readers each week.

This little offering is my 7th most popular post of all time, lagging only behind those that were Freshly Pressed.

Since the topic seems to be an ongoing issue for many, I am reposting it here.  Let’s think of this along the lines of a public service offering instead of as proof that I have diddly-squat in the way of original ideas right now, shall we?

If You Don’t Post This On Your Facebook Page, It Means You Want Me To Die

You love me, you love me not. You love me...

You love me, you love me not. You love me…

I have a friend who uses Facebook almost exclusively for emotional blackmail.

When I say “friend”, I mean in the new Facebook sense.  This is someone I barely remember from high school, and whose friend request I stupidly approved when I first signed up and didn’t know any better.

I used to think the most annoying thing about Facebook was the constant status updates from those who wanted gold, billy goats, or some other cyber crap because they were playing Farmville or Pioneer Trail games all day.  Now I realize that the emotionally needy “friend” is much worse.

Almost every day, my friend’s status updates appear on my Home Page bearing a new friendship litmus test.  She posted all the following in just one month:

·         I need prayers so bad right now.!!!! Hope someone cares. If u are my friend click the like button & then re-post. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my “Facebook Family” wherever u may be to kindly copy, paste and share this status for one hour to give a prayer of support to all those who have family problems, struggles and worries and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us for no-one is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. Share some faith and love for those in need. Life works in strange ways.
·         I cried when you passed away. I still cry today. Although I loved you dearly, I couldn’t make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke my heart to prove to me he only takes the best.
Keep this rose going for anyone in heaven that you’ve loved and lost – but never forgot
_____/)___/)______./¯”””/’)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\)¯¯\)¯¯¯’\_„„„,\)
Put this up as your status, most of you won’t – but respect to those that do…..to all our loved ones. Missing you especially during the holidays ahead.
·         I don’t need an angel on my Christmas tree , I already have one in Heaven looking down on me! . . . . Put this as your status if there is someone in heaven you wish could be with you this Christmas. ♥
·        I am not hot or gorgeous, I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered a model but I’m ME. I eat food, I have curves, I love my Pj’s, and I go without makeup. I’m random and crazy, I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, you can love me or not (ask me if I care). I won’t change!! And if i love you, I do it with all my heart!! I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who you are…..HELL YEA
.        This is the eye test. Look for the LOWER case ‘L’ and you will be kissed tomorrow! LLLLLLLLLl LLLLLLL. Now look for the ‘N’. This is really hard. MMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMMMMM. Now find the mistake ABCDEFGHIJ KLNMOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Now wish for something you really want after the countdown! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1, now close your eyes and make a wish *********. Now put this as your status and your wish will come true! you have 19 minutes. Or what you wished for will be the opposite
·         I personally believe in Jesus Christ. A man on face book has challenged all believers to put this on their wall. The Bible says, “If you deny Me in front of your peers, I will deny you in front of my Father”. This is a simple test. If you love God and you are not afraid to show it, re-post this. I proudly did. Will you?
·         Dear Santa, I don’t want much for Christmas, I just want the person reading this to be happy. Friends are the fruit cake of life — some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet, but mix them together and they’re my friends. At Christmas you always hear people talking about what they want & bought. This is what I want: I want people who are sick with no cure to be able to be cured. I want children with no families to be adopted. I want people to never have to worry about food, shelter & heat. I want peace and love for everyone! Now, let’s see how many people re-post this….I have a feeling I am gonna see almost no re-posts. PLEASE prove me wrong
·         Friendships are special… So lets start a friendship ring… If you are my friend, click the like button and then re-post… If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand
·         Many people have passed away early! – When we look at the sky, we LOVE the idea that they look back at us. We remember them often, at night, when we look at the stars … a date … a song … somewhere … a smell … A memory of those who left us ..ALWAYS LOVED, deeply missed ..Post this as your status if you have someone keeping an eye on you from above….I know I do!♥

“Hope someone cares”, “if you are my friend”, “let’s see who reposts this”, “most of you won’t post this” – do we notice a common theme here?  It’s emotional blackmail.  The message is clear: if you don’t do as I say, you don’t care about me.

I have nothing against status updates that ask for prayers, or pass on inspiring messages.  These can make me stop and think, and are often rather sweet.  But how about if we agree to leave off the “pass it on or else” riders?

If everyone reading my blog would repost this to his or her blog and WordPress page, we could put an end to emotional blackmail on Facebook once and for all.  If you don’t repost, I’ll know you want me to come down with a bad case of toenail fungus.

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , | 68 Comments

When It Says Loco, Lazy, Loser On The Label, Label, Label

Posted on January 31, 2013 by pegoleg

kidslabels

Do you have lovely eyes?  A noble nose?  An infectious smile?  Sometimes it’s hard to see our own outstanding features, even if they are obvious to everyone else.  That’s because some of us can’t see beyond the big, invisible labels on our foreheads.

We sang How Great Thou Art at church the other day.  The beautiful, timeless song inspired me to lift my eyes and my voice to heaven.  The choir is looking for new members and for a fleeting moment I thought, “Maybe I should join.”

I dismissed that idea as quickly as it occurred.  I’m not the “singer” in the family.  That’s Judy, Libby, and Bill.  I’m the “smart” one.

Kids are assigned their roles very early in life.  Maybe you could read before the other kids: you’re “smart”.  Maybe you walked and ran easily: you’re the “jock”.  Maybe you kept your crayon scribbles inside the lines: you’re the “artist”.  Maybe you cried or raged or couldn’t sit still: you’re the “difficult child”.

Our first labels come from our families.  These are honed when we get to school and new ones are added.  Those early labels have a way of sticking.

I liked being thought of as “smart”.  Having that reputation makes school easier.  There may not really be a “permanent record” that follows you from grade to grade, but teachers hear things.  They’re only human.  When they expect you to do good work, they give you the benefit of the doubt.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m no Einstein.  I’m reasonably intelligent but, as I discovered as I started swimming in bigger ponds, there are a lot of smart fish in the sea; many are lots smarter.  But that was the label I was given as a child and it stuck, inside and out.

“Smart” was great, but I wanted to be other things, too. In junior high and high school, I would have traded all my “smart” for “pretty”, “popular” and the Holy Grail of teenage labels, “cool”.

I secretly longed to try out for our high school’s musicals, but I was scared.  Besides, I wasn’t a “singer”.  “Singers” took chorus.  I took band.  All the “cool” kids were in chorus and they got all the parts in the plays.   My place was in the orchestra pit with the rest of the “band nerds”.

If being stuck with a label like “smart” can be limiting, how much worse are the labels that demean and hurt?  Labels like “troublemaker”, “lazy”, “stupid” or just plain “bad”.

My mother tells the story of a conversation she had with my little brother, Jim, when he was a kid.  Jim was the funny goof-off, the jock, and the popular one.  He wasn’t known as the greatest student. They were talking about some trouble he was having with a subject and, frustrated,  he blurted out, “School is really hard for me.  I’m not “smart” like Bill and Peg!”

That’s the kind of attitude that can define your entire life if you let it.  Jim didn’t let it.

In the early years he may have internalized the labels that the school stuck on him, but somewhere along the line he ditched them.  Jim defined himself.  He got a degree in business, worked for a few years and then decided to go to dental school.  The “goof-off” is the only one of us nine siblings with the title “Dr.” before his name.

So much for labels.

Labels can be a convenient shorthand to identify strengths and weaknesses, but should be used carefully.  We have to guard against the tendency to limit ourselves – and  others – to the neat, little pigeonholes we’ve become accustomed to.

After all, you’re not free to fly if you’re stuck in a pigeonhole.

**this embedded commercial right under here is part of the post**

p.s. As with all my siblings, my sister Libby can proudly wear many labels advertising her many strengths and talents.  But the label associated with her for life is from a commercial for canned goods from our youth.  I can still hear that jingle in my head because we sang it at her ad nauseam, “When it says Libby’s, Libby’s, Libby’s on the label, label, label, you will hate it, hate it, hate it on the table, table, table…”  Sorry, Lib.

p.p.s.  In case you’re wondering; no, I’m not joining the church choir.  I’ll let my voice soar from the safety and anonymity of the pew.

**this embedded commercial right under here is a real one. You might want to look at it anyway. WordPress has to pay the bills around here somehow.**

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , | 75 Comments

World Famous Comedian Visits Peg-o-Leg’s Blog!

Posted on January 29, 2013 by pegoleg

I don’t want to brag, but I’m so excited I couldn’t keep this to myself.  Although we bloggers toil in the WordPress vineyards primarily for personal satisfaction, a little recognition never comes amiss.  In fact, the prayer we dare not utter is our secret, fervent wish that we will get noticed by the “right” people, and that this will lead to fame and fortune.

Of course, I’ve had my brushes with fame before.

When I first started this blog it was with the intention of getting noticed by Oprah.  I wanted her to hire me as a writer.  That never actually happened, so maybe I can’t count it as a “brush” with fame.  Maybe more like shooting an arrow at the elusive fame target, only to have it crash impotently to the ground; total fail.

There was that time I wrote about how I was the secret love child of Dave Barry and Erma Bombeck.   I sent an email link to Dave, one of my favorite humor writers, and he actually responded.  No kidding!  What a great guy.  I wish I had half of his talent.

But just the other day I had a real brush (more of a head-on collision) with fame.  One of my very favorite comedians stopped by this blog.  I’m not sure how he heard of me, but he read my stuff and really liked it.  He was kind enough to leave a comment.  I’m so stoked!

He used an alias, but I recognized his “voice” and I know you will too.  Here’s what he said.

“Hello all, here every one is sharing these knowledge, so it’s pleasant to read this blog, and I used to pay a quick visit this webpage all the time.”

It said the comment came from someone named Come Play With My Dirty Pillows.  What an alias – ha ha! But that comment is obviously the work of one of the Czech Brothers.

Only thing is, I wonder how Steve’s comment ended up in my spam folder?

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , , | 77 Comments

Best/Worst Valentine Winners!

Posted on January 28, 2013 by pegoleg

We have a couple of winners in the best/worst/weirdest Valentine’s Day gift contest.  It was tough to choose from the selections so I broke them into categories.

  • Best Combo Gift And New Word: Jules at Go Jules Go for “chorn”
  • Best Gift That Keeps On Giving: Tar-Buns @ Here and ThereSa  for: The package from home that set US/Japanese relations back 20 years
  • Best Thinking Outside The Cone: Misty at mistyslaws for: Baskin Robbins Newest Flavor- Body Sundae
  • Most Pathetic Gift: to Renee at renée a. schuls-jacobson blog for: The #2 that was #2.

Johnny, tell these fine ladies what they’ve won!

Right you are, Peg.  Girls, this Valentine’s Day is sure to be better than any of those lame examples when you present your special someone with a one-of-a-kind valentine from the Etsy shop,  peep.  Each valentine is handmade with love from repurposed/recycled materials, primarily wool and cashmere.

Head on over to  peep, and choose the valentine that is just right for your sweetie (even if your sweetie answers to the name of Fido!)   A few examples are shown below.

Please email me to let me know your selection and address and I will get them right in the mail.  Thanks to all who played!

 

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , | 21 Comments

Miss Peg-o-Leg’s Bloggy Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Comment Etiquette

Posted on January 24, 2013 by pegoleg

With newcomers swelling the WordPress ranks daily, this seems like a good time for a refresher course on the all-important topic of comment etiquette.

When navigating the rocky shoals of comment etiquette, even the most grizzled WordPress veteran may find him or herself adrift.   Commenting rules are, by and large, unwritten.  This makes them no less real.  The unwary commenter risks breaking one of these rules and getting smacked upside the head so hard their kids will be born dizzy, metaphorically speaking.

Fear not!  Miss Peg-o-Leg is here to guide you in the gentle art and exacting science of the effective comment.  Read these Frequently Asked Questions.   Memorize the answers.  Live by them.

  • I really don’t know the blogger.  Wouldn’t it be too bold to comment?  Not at all!  That’s why writers write and bloggers blog – for the appreciation of their audience.

WordPress is like community theater.  Hard-working actors donate their blood, sweat and almost every evening after work, and for what?  They get paid diddly-squat.  All they want is a chance to exercise their creativity.  And, perhaps, just a moment of glory.    Don’t begrudge them that.  Tomorrow they must put away dreams of fame and fortune and go back to their humdrum lives as accountants and recent high school graduates working at Burger Planet while yearning to be on Glee.

A thoughtful comment is like applause at the end of a performance.

  • I left a comment on a post and the blogger didn’t come over to visit my blog.  Does that mean she is a rude, self-involved witch?   Not necessarily.   Be patient.  Blog reciprocity is like dating.  It’s a process of getting to know one another – to see if you are compatible.  You wouldn’t expect a new “friend” to come up to your apartment to see your “etchings” on a first date, would you?
  • I want to tell everyone how Angelina Jolie is really an alien who comes to my house in the middle of the night to eat all the raisins in my pantry.  If you are striving for funny, please proceed.  If you believe this to be true, you may want to reconsider before you hit “submit”.  The goal is to remain a welcome guest and not be the object of a restraining order.  Try to remember to take your meds.

Also, those raisins may stay fresh longer in the refrigerator.

  • Can I include a link to my own blog in my comment?  This is tricky.  If you did a post on a closely related subject, then yes.  If all you want to do is leave a link to drive traffic to your blog – we see this most often on Freshly Pressed posts – then no.  That is considered more tacky than wearing white after Labor Day.
  • I disagree with/don’t like what the blogger had to say.  It’s perfectly fine to disagree – just be respectful.  If the blogger is laying down some particularly nasty carpet bombing on a topic that you hold dear, however, it may be best to sneak away quietly without comment. Miss Peg-o-Leg agrees with your mother on this point: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
  • May I drop the f-bomb in my comment?  Nowhere is the commandment “thou shalt know thy bloggy host” more important than here.  If your host works in obscenities as an artist works in oils, you may drop the f-bomb (and any other letter bombs) with impunity.  If you are visiting what is clearly a family friendly blog,  then ix-nay on the bomb-fay.

Remember that obscenity that is neither funny nor advances the dialogue is rarely   appreciated.  This rule does not apply, however, if you’re commenting on a blog that celebrates crude AND stupid.  In that case…carry on.

  • Do I have to respond if someone leaves a comment on my blog?  Experts are split on the duty owed here.  One school of thought holds that if someone takes the time to read and come up with a reasonably thoughtful or clever comment, they deserve the courtesy of a reply.   If Miss Peg-o-Leg crafts a witty comment and gets no response on a blog she is visiting for the first time she seldom makes a return visit.

Many bloggers scale their response to the amount of work evidenced in the original comment.  A casually dropped “L-O-L” or smiley face does not require a dissertation in reply.

Another school of thought says, “I can’t fphatreply to every comment. For God’s sake, am I supposed to be chained to this computer?  I’ve got a life!”  This response is especially tempting during the comment ballyhoo that surrounds being Freshly Pressed.  Miss Peg-o-Leg suggests the lucky FP host just hunker down with a supply of Power Bars (she prefers chocolate & peanut butter.)  She also suggests one of those baseball caps with the beer cozies attached on both sides and a straw that extends down to the mouth.

On a personal note, Miss Peg-o-Leg makes it her practice to respond to all comments.   This does not mean the average blogger must do so; Miss Peg-o-Leg strives to be above average in all things.

  • Can I just hit the “like” button?  The “like” button is a perfectly acceptable response. This is the equivalent of leaving a calling card with the butler when you drop in and the host is not at home.  It shows you cared enough to stop by.

The “like” response is especially effective if the post is a simple picture, or a quote-of-the-day sort of offering.  You can also use it if you’re swamped with “real life” and have no time to spare.  Finally, this is useful if you just can’t think of anything worth saying.  Even Miss Peg-o-Leg has, on very rare occasion, gone to the Clever Comment Well and found it dry.

If you exclusively hit “like” without ever commenting, however, your host may get the impression you aren’t actually reading the posts.  That you are parking out on the street, slouched down in the front seat hiding behind a Star Magazine, just waiting until they leave the house so you can drop off your card without having to bother to talk to them.

  • What is the Comment Hijack?  Is it OK if I do this?  The comment hijack involves jumping into someone else’s comment stream.  This may be as subtle as expressing your own reaction to that commenter’s thoughts.  It could be as bold as a total takeover; turning the plane around, as the term “hijack” would suggest.  This type of comment banter is a favorite of the more advanced practitioners of the noble art.   Always remember that you are a guest on someone else’s blog: make sure your host knows they are welcome to join in the fun.

A variation on this is the comment hijack on the blog of someone YOU DO NOT KNOW.  This game is fraught with danger; a thrill ride that is not for the faint of heart.  It is like juggling chainsaws.  Both are amazing feats to witness when properly executed.   The amateur, however, risks cutting off a vital organ.  Both chainsaw juggling and extreme comment hijacking are activities best left to the experts.

Bloggers should make commenters feel welcome as guests in their home.  Commenters should remember they are guests, and always wipe their feet before entering.  That way they won’t track the blogging equivalent of dog crap in on the host’s rug.

In the end, as with all etiquette, comment etiquette comes down to good manners.  As Miss Peg-o-Leg always says,

“Treat others as you wish to be treated and you will rarely go wrong.”

Bon Commentito!

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Don’t forget to enter my Weirdest Valentine Contest – the deadline is tomorrow! (Friday, 1/25)

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , , , | 215 Comments

True Valentine Confessions (And Give-Away Contest)

Posted on January 22, 2013 by pegoleg

Valentine’s Day is a time to express your deep love for that special someone in your life.  That’s what it’s supposed to be.  In reality, it’s an exercise in performance pressure of the worst kind.

If your sentiments aren’t exactly right, if your gift doesn’t reflect your feelings in a truly touching way, you risk taking the Jet of Love down in a truly epic crash & burn.

When you’ve been married as long as I have (30 years plus change), the kind of gifts you get for one another are radically different from the early days.  Nowhere is the difference between year 3 and year 30 more pronounced than on Valentine’s Day.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE whatever my sweetie gives me because of the thought behind it.  But I’ve got to admit that each of the traditional choices has its drawbacks.

Chocolates:  Women are usually dieting, so this looks like sabotage.  You eat them anyway and then are filled with guilt and self-loathing.   Nice present.

Dozen red roses: Costs a fortune, which, if you’re married, is coming out of YOUR pocket as well.  Love the sentiment, but hate the big waste of money.

Single red rose: Romantic? Maybe. Cheap? You decide.

Costly jewelry: Hard to see a downside to this one, but the problem is when the costly item is something you would just never wear. After all these years, shouldn’t he know what you like?

Sexy lingerie:  Some of us prefer flannel jammies.  They keep you warm and cozy and hide the toll the last 30 years have taken on the body.

If it’s tough to pick the right thing for a woman, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to get something for a man.  Men don’t usually care about ANY of the traditional stuff.  The glaring exception is the lingerie.  Even then, it’s hard to get something in his size at Victoria’s Secret.

Nothing says "love" like a bunch of tighty whities.

Nothing says “love” like a bunch of tighty whities.

My hubby is always running short on underwear.  This pressing need is expressed in the suggestion that maybe I should do some laundry every once in a while – he seems to expect this every couple of weeks!  While white briefs may be something of a necessity in life, they hardly qualify as a romantic Valentine’s Day gift.  Or do they?

Here’s the lovely bouquet I crafted for Bill a couple of years ago.   It combines romance and practicality with artistic flair.   I call it, the Undie Arrangement.  FTD, eat your heart out!

How about you?  What’s the most unusual gift you ever gave or received for Valentine’s Day?

I’m not just asking out of idle curiosity – this here is a contest, y’all!

Tell me your best/weirdest valentines gift (via comment or email) by this Friday, 1/25 at 12 noon CST and I’ll pick the best.  The winner(s) gets… drum roll please… to choose a valentine from my Etsy shop, “peep“.   Several options are shown below with more on the site.  Choose the one you want and I’ll get it to you in plenty of time for the big event.  Sorry, winners have to live in the US of A.

*****WARNING, WARNING**** SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION AHEAD!!!!!

Ditch the same-old, same-old this Valentine’s Day with a creative gift, handcrafted with love from recycled wool or cashmere.  Even Fido and Fifi can share the love!  Check out my shop, “peep” for lots of fun ideas.

Posted in General Ramblings | Tagged , , , , | 64 Comments

Becoming The Guardians At The Door; Gone Visiting

Posted on January 21, 2013 by pegoleg

Renee at Life In The Boomer Lane  is one of the funniest writers on the interwebz.  Her preferred topic of choice, as you may guess from the title of her blog, is life from the perspective of a Woman Of A Certain Age.  Speaking as a fellow traveler in that lane, I can only say she nails it every time.  Truth with humor.

When she told me about her new venture – hosting guest writers to talk about reality as we age – and asked me to contribute, my first reaction was, “What, don’t you ever sleep, woman?”  My second reaction was to be flattered, mixed with a healthy dose of fear.

This series is about real.  My thing is funny.  Funny makes a pretty good shield to hide behind, so stepping out into the real is a little scary.

My post, Becoming The Guardians At The Door, is up on Life In The Boomer Lane today.  Check it out and, if you don’t know Renee, settle in to stay.

p.s. Head on over there even if you’re under 50.  Who knows…you might learn something, whippersnappers.

Posted in General Ramblings, Guest Post - Playing Musical Blogs | Tagged , , , | 18 Comments