Pets add so much to one’s life. When I come through the door at the end of a long, hard day, I know our cat, Beeby, will be there to greet me – with a fresh pile of cat-gack.
Beeby threw up just about every day last week. She anointed the basement stairs, a dining room chair, the dining room floor (twice), and another chair. I found her coming out of the depths of my closet late one night and, frankly, I’m afraid to look. I’ll deal with it tomorrow.
We’re playing a fun game of vomit hide-and-seek. Where will she strike next?
Of course I’m sorry she’s sick, but she’s bringing it on herself. Our sweet little cat is an addict. Her drug of choice? She’s hooked on the demon palm frond.
Well, not the demon palm frond; it’s actually the holy palm frond.
On Palm Sunday, the week before Easter, Christians remember Jesus’ triumphant entrance into Jerusalem. In our church, the priest blesses palm fronds and we wave them in a joyful halleluiah procession around the church.
When we got home from church, we put the fronds on the kitchen counter and forgot about them. Beeby found them. For several days in a row, I found slightly mangled palm fronds lying about and put them back up on the counter. I thought she was just playing with them.
Maybe I just didn’t want to see the truth. I knew she had a problem. That’s why we can never have fresh flowers in the house. And ears of corn still in the husk? Forget it! It would be like waving a red flag before a bull.
But as God as my witness, I never suspected Beeby was hooked on fronds!
Until I took a really good look at the gack. That’s when it hit me – we had a feline frond addict, and we were living in a sanctified vomitorium.
Once we figured it out, we put them up high. When we got home we found she’d jumped up 7 feet to get her fix. Addicts are wily that way. We finally just removed the temptation from the house.
Beeby has been in detox for days. I won’t lie – it was rough. But I think the junk has finally worked itself out of her system. She seems calmer and the gack-attacks have stopped.
Sure, I blame myself. I wonder whether she will stay clean, or if she will move on to the really hard stuff: brooms, straw hats, silk flowers. In the end, only Beeby can make that choice.