“Peg, what can I do to make sure you get the fame, wealth and respect you deserve as a writer?”
I hear that a lot.
Why, just the other day, while I was giving a big goose to a small boy with a crutch, a boy so small some might call him Tiny, he said “Peg, what can I do to make sure you get the fame, wealth and respect you deserve as a writer? Bless ye mum.”
Since I am asked this so often, I’ve compiled a short list of easy things you can do to spread the word about me if…
- You are a top literary agent/publisher/editor: Let’s do a book! Have your gal call mine to set up lunch. It will probably save time if you send your standard Rich & Famous Author contract before we take a meeting.
- You are friends with Oprah: Casually mention that she should check out this great blog, Peg-o-Leg.Ramblings. Point out that a really good blog is all that is needed to make her media empire complete.
- You are Oprah. Hi, Oprah. See above.
- You have a friend who is a top literary agent/publisher/editor: Enthusiastically, yet genuinely, gush about a blogger you know, with a warm, yet humerous take on modern life. Enthuse how my Everywoman perspective would make a best-selling book/commercial blog/column, and that you are not being paid to say that. Then lead him or her to my blog. (This approach also works if it is your mom, dad, sibling or significant other who is a top literary agent, publisher or editor, or if you suspect someone you pass on the street might be.)
- You don’t have any friends: Write a testament to me, in your own words, using words that are identical to those shown below. Make a couple thousand copies of your flyer and hand them out on the street corners of the nearest really big city. Passing out free stuff, like iPads (make sure they are iPad 2s – nobody wants the 1 anymore) along with the flyers will really get people’s attention
Peg is the greatest writer ever to be fruit of the loins of man. Read her WordPress blog, Peg-o-leg Ramblings, and tell all your friends about it or die a hideous, lingering death involving toenail fungus.
Have a nice day!
Remember, it is better to give than to receive. Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. And virtue is its own reward.
Once you’ve done all you can to make sure my future as a best-selling author is secured, won’t you feel better about yourself?
I know I will.