We’ve got pop-up blockers for computers, why not for TV?
The other night I was trying to watch a Bergman film on MTV’s weekly Great Films series. Suddenly, Scutchie popped up from the bottom of the screen to announce that MTV’s groundbreaking program; “Hos and Wannabes Behaving Badly for Money In The Garden State”, was coming on next.
That totally blew my concentration.
Then they covered up the film’s English subtitles with a teaser for “Hos“. Scutchie was stretched out on her back, showing the gang how she could pick up extra money, literally, by snagging quarters with her butt-cheeks. I never did find out why that dwarf was riding through Liv Ullman’s bedroom on a unicycle.
The practice of networks using pop-up ads to plug their own shows has grown exponentially. So has viewer annoyance.
That’s why Peg-Co* is proud to announce a revolutionary new invention: Hop-On-Pop, the first pop-up blocker for television. Now you can “kill”(1) those annoying pop-ups, and develop hand/eye coordination at the same time!
The secret is in the revolutionary remote control “gun”. Choose from the Gatling, Uzi, Colt 45 or Water Pistol models. Children will have tons of fun with the Lolli-Pop.
But the good times don’t stop there. With a small monthly fee and a Wi-Fi connection, you can join one of our online communities:
- Gangsta Town
- Wild West Corral
- World at War
- Mr. Googlie’s Sparkly Unicorn Lollipop Land
Test your reflexes against fellow sharpshooters for bragging rights and fun prizes.
You get points each time you wing a pop-up star before he/she disappears. Each shot is scored based on a complicated matrix that measures the speed and size of the pop-up, your trigger speed, and how far into his/her 15 minutes of fame the pop-up star is. A dedicated computer tabulates the scores and posts them to the web community leader board.
So the next time annoying pop-up ads have you ready to throw your shoe at the TV, whip out your Hop-On-Pop remote instead, and score some fun!
(1) Hop-On-Pop in no way promotes, defends or encourages sick nut-jobs to actually shoot celebrities. The use of bulls-eyes is a fun reminder of a carnival game, a visual device to denote “taking aim” to conquer a problem or opponent, which has nothing to do with violence. It is in no way like the practice of politicians using bulls-eyes to mean…oh wait, that’s what they mean, too.
*Peg-Co is a division of Peg-o-Leg Industries Worldwide, LLC, PhD, Inc. Patents pending, all rights reserved. Steal my idea and die a lingering death involving toe-fungus gone horribly awry.