Change Would Do You Good

Up, up and away!

Last week I posted a beginners guide to the new language, Euphemish. (check out my post “New Language Discovered” to get up-to-speed).  From time to time I’ll present more advanced concepts for the inquiring student.

Today, we’ll explore the Euphemish term, Rate Change

In our introductory lesson we learned:

Eumphemish:  Rate change.   English translation : It’s gonna cost more. 

      The word “change” when applied to rate, price, cost, etc. ALWAYS means an increase.  If the price were actually going down, that would be trumpeted clearly and repeatedly.  In English.

Upon opening my cyber mail today, I was treated to as fine an example of the Euphemish “rate change” as you are likely to find. 

In just a few short paragraphs, the company told me of their:

  • enhanced pricing changes
  • new business rate adjustments, and a
  • reduction in the preferred discount

After 2 follow-up emails with an actual person, I was able to clarify that the company was actually announcing a …. (wait for it) … price INCREASE.  Not just a little increase, either –  13 to 70%, depending on the state.  Would it surprise you to learn that these examples of clearcut obfuscation came from an insurance company?

Study Notes:

The addition of the adjective “enhanced” to the pricing changes does not affect the underlying meaning – just makes it look more fancy.    

Substituting “adjustments” for changes should not confuse the careful student.  “Adjustments” is an Euphemish synonym for “changes”.  When coupled with “price” or “rate”, it still means get out your wallet.

I call your attention to the subtle use of the word “reduction”.  Only upon further reflection do we realize that reduction of a discount is an increase.  Masterfully complex use of the language!

Stay tuned for further lessons in the exciting, fast-growing language!

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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9 Responses to Change Would Do You Good

  1. bigsheepcommunications says:

    Gosh! All this time I thought that increase meant increase, but I can see that there’s a whole lot more to the linguistic equation. I anxiously await the next lesson.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Increase DOES mean increase. We just don’t see that word much anymore. But this is getting way too advanced for the beginning student. You may want to enroll in Euphemish 401.

      Like

  2. Having worked in communications for governments and political leaders for many years, I am fluent in Euphemish. I don’t know about your governments but no matter what their politics are here, nobody “spends” anymore. They always “invest.”

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    • pegoleg says:

      So true! Things are the same here, south of the border (odd to use that term for a place with a foot of snow on the ground, but everything is relative, eh?). I touched on this very issue in a blog last month “When Synonyms are Not Synonomous”.

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  3. How marvelous to meet someone else who clearly relishes using the word: obfuscation ?!!

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    • pegoleg says:

      One of my father-in-law’s favorite sayings was “eschew obfuscation”. When I pointed out the irony that 9/10ths of the people he said it to didn’t know what he meant, he just laughed.

      Like

  4. Love it! When are you going to add another to this series? I’ll be watching for it!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I forgot about this. Didn’t get much of a response when I posted it. But this is just the sort of smug, superior ranting that I really enjoy doing, so I will get on it.

      Like

  5. Pingback: Your Customer Advocate Will Now Give You A Blindfold And A Cigarette | Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings

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