Last week I posted a beginners guide to the new language, Euphemish. (check out my post “New Language Discovered” to get up-to-speed). From time to time I’ll present more advanced concepts for the inquiring student.
Today, we’ll explore the Euphemish term, Rate Change
In our introductory lesson we learned:
Eumphemish: Rate change. English translation : It’s gonna cost more.
The word “change” when applied to rate, price, cost, etc. ALWAYS means an increase. If the price were actually going down, that would be trumpeted clearly and repeatedly. In English.
Upon opening my cyber mail today, I was treated to as fine an example of the Euphemish “rate change” as you are likely to find.
In just a few short paragraphs, the company told me of their:
- enhanced pricing changes
- new business rate adjustments, and a
- reduction in the preferred discount
After 2 follow-up emails with an actual person, I was able to clarify that the company was actually announcing a …. (wait for it) … price INCREASE. Not just a little increase, either – 13 to 70%, depending on the state. Would it surprise you to learn that these examples of clearcut obfuscation came from an insurance company?
The addition of the adjective “enhanced” to the pricing changes does not affect the underlying meaning – just makes it look more fancy.
Substituting “adjustments” for changes should not confuse the careful student. “Adjustments” is an Euphemish synonym for “changes”. When coupled with “price” or “rate”, it still means get out your wallet.
I call your attention to the subtle use of the word “reduction”. Only upon further reflection do we realize that reduction of a discount is an increase. Masterfully complex use of the language!
Stay tuned for further lessons in the exciting, fast-growing language!