"Right Said Fred" is too sexy for their shirts.
Americans now use “sexy” more often than any other word in the English language.
OK, I made that up, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
Sex is a staple of reality TV, even in shows where you wouldn’t expect it. A contestant in a cooking show I was watching said she wanted to bring sexy back to the kitchen. I thought she was talking about doing it on the kitchen table. Turns out all the hubbub was about spaghetti sauce. I like pasta as well as the next person, but… sexy?
Sex sells – I get that. And I have nothing against sex. Quite the contrary. But our nation’s obsession with being sexy as a be-all, end-all goal is shallow and boring.
This obsession was apparent when I was in the birthday card aisle at the store the other day. Half the cards for 50-year-old women feature photos of buff, shirtless young men. They’re nice to look at, but I wonder if the folks at Hallmark realize that what is sexy to a woman at 21 isn’t the same as what works at 50.
Here’s a short list of turn-ons for the older, more discriminating woman:
- Slightly stooped shoulders – from carrying 50-pound bags of potting soil and water softener salt for you, and more than his fair share of the worries and the burdens.
- Missing thumbnail – from a hammer incident when he was building a tree house for the kids, or a pedestal for you.
- Lines around the eyes – from laughing at your jokes, the kid’s antics and the things in life that otherwise would make you cry.
- Thinning hair – from nights spent tearing it out, worrying how he was going to pay the bills and take care of his family.
- Watery eyes – from mowing the grass no matter how bad the ragweed is, and getting choked-up watching home movies of the kids when they were little.
Being dependable and hard working, having a sense of humor, showing a little tenderness – these are the things a real woman finds sexy in a real man.
And if these traits come wrapped in a package with strong, broad shoulders and a killer smile, that’s OK too.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Peg, you’re a true romantic. At the risk of showing my (middle) age, I have to agree with you. Sexy is NOT in the spaghetti sauce – it’s in taking my car to get new tires and shoveling the snow off the driveway.
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Shoveling the driveway? I get hot just thinking about it!
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Great blog! I saw that show too, and responded the same way you did… You stole my thoughts and put them in print for me. Thanks!!
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I LOVE those cooking shows, but the sexy thing took me aback. Hope you don’t mind the thought-theft!
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So true so true. My favorite is the lines around the eyes……………..
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That actually is kind of sexy and rugged for men. Why, oh why not for women?
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I love this post! Sexy is my man making the spaghetti sauce.
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So true!
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Amen. I’d say I don’t want a man with a body better than mine, but that would be a lie. Still, give me real over “reality tv” any day.
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Well, yeah to the good body, but we want the other good stuff, too.
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You’ve given me renewed hope that I might actually be considered sexy. Let me know when you’ve lowered the bar just a bit more and I’ll throw my hat in the ring.
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I’m sure you could leap nimbly over that bar right where it is.
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And consider the “non-sexy” alternatives on that card rack – all based on the observation, “Happy Birthday, you’re old, wrinkly and generally an all-round wreck.” Oh what to buy, what to buy?
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You’re right – there are slim pickings on the over 40 card racks. Maybe we should start our own card company?
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Sexy is a clean kitchen. =)
I agree with Chrismckillup about the alternative cards…the birthday =”death” cards. NOT funny.
I like buying blank cards for adults and filling in my own messages!
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Oops. I mean ChrismckillOp.
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A clean kitchen that somebody else cleaned! Good idea on the blank cards.
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Here are a couple other items on my list:
Splattered pants—from walking on the street-side of the sidewalk when you’re together to “keep you safe.”
Sliding Reading Glasses—All the better to look over when you enter the room.
Strong Grip—from opening jars, killing spiders, drilling holes for new window treatments.
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Those are excellent suggestions – consider them added to the list.
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I looked up some synonyms for sexy. None of them would be adjectives I’d use for pasta. Seems like people today have a new definition for what sexy means…
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That’s what I like – factual research. I think people just toss the word around because it’s “in”.
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Love your post. Being over 50 and still being considered sexy by my man ( even though he sees and knows all my flaws) isn’t bad either. I agree with you. Sexy is coming home from a hard day’s work and finding my man has dinner ready, my apartment cleaned, no dirty dishes in the sink and hard at work fixing something I’ve broken or just plain playing with the cat.
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You’re a whole lot more likely to feel sexy yourself if you don’t have a mountain of his dirty underwear staring you in the face when you enter the boudoir.
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I love it, Peggy, especially the crinkly eyes part. I also love to watch Jim with our granddaughter…there’s nothing sexier than a man with a baby!
Wendy
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Good one, Wendy. A strong man with a little baby makes you melt.
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