I went to get my oil changed a couple of weeks ago. The waiting room décor was vintage man-world: utilitarian, plastic stacking chairs, cracked linoleum floor, boxes and bins of oily parts, and posters of spark-plugs and other vehicle- related stuff.
There was one jarring note to this man-symphony: pastel cutouts of bunnies, duckies, eggies and other soft and fuzzy “ies” covered half the grimy surfaces.
The oil-jockey who came in to tell me my car was ready was about 35, with those ear-hole expander things and a tear tattooed next to his eye. He didn’t strike me as the chickie type. When asked if he was responsible for all the Easter decorations, a faint look of distaste crossed his face as he mumbled something about “the owner’s wife.”
I knew it.
We women cannot help ourselves. We carry an estrogen-activated nesting gene on our extra X chromosome. The Doily Gene compels us to decorate our environments, and that naturally includes the work world.
This gene really comes to the fore when the holidays roll around.
Everybody decorates for Christmas. But in my office, that’s just the tip of the doily iceberg. No sooner do the snowmen come down, then the cupids go up. In the fall, sparkly, polyester autumn leaves are whisked off the counter to make room for the witch’s cauldron. We have window clings, plastic flowers and polyresin figurines that are changed out for every season and holiday, major or minor. I’m sure we’re not alone.
The only place that is safe from our decorating frenzy is the Men’s restroom, ever since the incident with the leprechaun and the pot ‘o gold honeycomb centerpiece. I don’t want to talk about that.
It’s gotten so bad there’s no room in the storeroom closet for toilet paper anymore. I had to put my foot down. We’re cutting way back on the number and scope of our decorations. After all, this is a business office, and we don’t want the men to feel out of place.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get my hot-glue gun going for the maple leaf and lace wreath I’m working on. Victoria Day is right around the corner!