Victoria Is Got A Secret

Victoria’s Secret, that purveyor of fine lingerie, has just launched a new commercial for spring.   The title is “Incredible”.   And so it is.  A parade of Lolitas struts toward the camera, their nubile bodies clad in tiny, brightly colored panties and push-up bras.  The theme, “Now there’s 5 ways to be incredible!” flashes across the screen in time with the throbbing beat of the music.

Check it out.

http://vsallaccess.victoriassecret.com/2011/03/01/incredible-tv-commercial-spring-2011/

After seeing this, I know exactly what you’re thinking:  Doesn’t anyone at Victoria’s Secret speak proper English?

There’s 5 ways….” What the…??? 

“There’s” is a contraction of there and is.  Would you say, “There is 5 ways to be incredible”?  No!  Would Paul Simon have us believe, “There is 50 ways to leave your lover”?  No!  Could we have some subject/verb agreement here, for Pete’s sake?   It’s plural.  “There ARE 5 ways…” Are.

Some would say that, far from being upset by the bad grammar, the average male viewer wouldn’t even notice there were words on the screen.   I have more faith in the Y-chromosomed.  I bet there are many 12 and 13 year-old boys who were also disturbed by this commercial.  Mighty disturbed.  Possibly to the point of losing sleep. 

Victoria’s Secret is a sophisticated, successful company.  Sure, they sell sex.  They push the message that a female’s highest calling is to be a sexy little girl/woman, but I would expect them to go for the usual stuff when choosing employees: namely, brains and talent.   Maybe they hire exclusively from their target market.

Wanted: Advertising Executive 

 Top, international women’s “fashion” retailer has an immediate opening in their advertising department. The successful candidate will meet the following basic criteria:

  • MBA from an Ivy League School
  • Top 5 percent of her class
  • 10 years of experience showing increased responsibility
  • Less than 25 years old
  • Height/weight proportionate (to a Barbie doll).

 Job duties will include:

  • Analysis/purchase of media
  • Creative input
  • Liaison with outside agencies
  • Strip the suit and strut the product at a moment’s notice
  • Appear as October in the company calendar (and possibly fill in for the CFO in March if the cow doesn’t drop that extra 2 pounds of baby weight by the photo shoot.)

 Having appeared on “The Girls Next Door” will be considered a definite plus. 

 

 

Perhaps management could add the ability to read and write English to their list of qualifications for new hires.   They could squeeze it in right after “Baby talk” and before “Jello wrestling”.

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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35 Responses to Victoria Is Got A Secret

  1. bigsheepcommunications says:

    I share your grammatical outrage, though I suspect the marketing department of VS is not made up of beautiful women, but of troll-like drooling men who only put words on the screen as an afterthought.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I actually wrote to Victoria’s Secret yesterday. I mentioned drooling men in my letter! This is the response I got today:

      “Thank you for your e-mail regarding our Incredible bra commercial. We appreciate you taking the time to share your feedback.
      We assure you that your specific comments have been forwarded to the proper department. We take our customers’ comments seriously. In fact, customer suggestions and comments often provide direction for changes in future merchandise and services.”

      It was signed Steffanie. I suspect that, were it possible in an email form, there would have been a heart over the “i”.

      Like

    • I imagine those trolls “is” the envy of the the Troll Marketing Kingdom.

      Like

  2. U cud pickat 1 of there stoars but ud have to dress hot.

    Like

  3. Terry says:

    I wondered how you could let an obvious typo escape your eagle eye when I saw the title. I bet the marketing department seen this comin and could give a rat’s poo. Drool aside, the boys looking at the ad could care less about grammer. Hee hee…

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I suspect it was a deliberate choice. The copy on their website is correct. I think they wanted the shorter, snappier flow on TV. Probably figured nobody would notice because they were:
      a) guys concentrating on the jouncing jumblies
      b) young women fantasizing about how they could get their jumblies to jounce like that

      Like

  4. Marianne Worley says:

    I ranted about this when I saw the commercial a few hours ago. I was going to write a blog about it, in honor of National Grammar Day, but you beat me to it! So glad I wasn’t the only one who cringed.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Cringing loves company. I didn’t know it was National Grammar Day. Go ahead and write your own blog about it – an infraction this serious deserves several rants! (thanks for stopping by)

      Like

  5. Pingback: Blogging and the art of writing soap operas . . . . . | RAM

  6. Libertarian says:

    One day, I hope to be able to buy some jouncing jumblies… what ARE the going rate for jumblies these days, anyhow?

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Do you mean how much to get a pair installed, or how much to rent the company of the body housing them? Ask Mr. Hefner – he’ll probably know the answer to both questions.

      Like

  7. John Hunsinger says:

    Oh, how I envy Mr. Pegoleg. With all those sexy grammar corrections that you must whisper in his ear.

    Like

  8. Great stuff as usual!
    Of course, not being US based I’d never heard of Victoria’s Secret until I watched The Social Network a few days ago. And anyway now here it(they?0 are again.

    Have posted a link to this post in support of your opinion including a letter of mine which the Guardian published some years ago in a similar vein.

    http://rowlandjones.wordpress.com/2011/03/05/blogging-and-the-art-of-writing-soap-operas/

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I thought Victoria’s Secret was everywhere. Is there a European company that sells sex and promises wrapped up in expensive underwear?
      Thanks for the link. I always love to check your blog for the great drawings.

      Like

  9. charlywalker says:

    Ohh funny…. there are five nubile bodies across your blog and your focus is a contraction…. I love it.
    Maybe the Secret is helping the contraction expand and lift & separate…

    spread the humor: charlywalker.wordpress.com

    Like

  10. Calla says:

    ATROCIOUS! and to imagine i was going to complain about the title…well, until i saw the nubile bodies and realized you were not referring to a person…:) English, Queens language and all has little honor left to protect, we have all been GMO’d-out to our different mutations of the language, only instead of genetics, its ludicrous-ness.

    Like

  11. Calla says:

    awww, there should be a cause for just that. hehehe, I should hope you have been resisting with all your might…:O
    I meant ‘genetically modified’…

    Like

  12. Team Oyeniyi says:

    Perhaps there is a growing movement to recover our language. This is the second thing I read today where people have decried the demise of good grammar!!

    Like

  13. nicole65 says:

    I guess I don’t pay enough attention when watching television, I didn’t even notice. Too funny though, now I’ll think about this every time I see the commercial.

    Like

  14. livingvoraciously says:

    And I was thinking that I had become a snob for wanting correct English 😛 Glad to see that the language is championed by many others in this age of BRB’s and LOL’s.

    Saw your FP post and ended up in your archive. Great writing, I love your humorous take on things 🙂

    Like

  15. Team Oyeniyi says:

    You know, I only noticed the “error” in the title TODAY, on my “My Comments” page! How slack am I? LOL I’ve always been an ignorer (is that a word) of headings – when I used to proof read documents, I’d forget the darn headings!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I think we have an “auto correct” function in the brain that connects, corrects and makes patterns so we can understand things. That’s not a bad thing!

      Like

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