Ho-Ho Holiday Caption Contest

Christmas time is here again.   Time to put up the tree, drink eggnog, sing along with Der Bingle….and enter my Ho-Ho Holiday Caption Contest.

+++Spoiler alert for family members and anyone else on my gift-giving list.+++

One of my sacred holiday traditions is going to Big Lots the weekend after Thanksgiving to knock out my Christmas shopping list. (For those of you not familiar with Big Lots, it’s bigger than a Dollar General, smaller than a Walmart, and not as classy as either of those.) Then I head home and re-wrap everything in gift boxes that I’ve been squirreling away all year from Saks 5th Avenue, Nordstrom and Barneys New York. Good times, good times.

I was walking into the store last weekend, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but…this.


Whatever is Santa doing? My mind boggles with possibilities. I need your help to get it unboggled.

Craft your best caption for this delightful photo and leave it in the comments section. You may submit as many as you’d like in the next couple of days.   I’ll select the top five, and then we’ll put it to a vote sometime next week.  One lucky winner will receive…drum roll please…wait for it…. bragging rights!

Yeah, I know it’s lame.  I was going to try to come up with some useless tchotchke as a prize, but just thinking of the logistics involved with finding one, wrapping it up, and getting it in the mail made me tired. If the loosy-goosy contest rules that came before the prize announcement didn’t clue you that I am totally winging it here, you are stupid and deserve any crushing disappointment you may be feeling.

Remember that my aged parents read this blog, so if you’re going crude, make sure it’s well masked with clever.

Good luck, and may the force be with you!*


(*I mean the “force” of Christmas cheer and goodwill toward all men, not the “force” as in magical Star Wars powers.   I’m borrowing the saying because everybody recognizes it.  But it would also be cool if the Star Wars “force” was with you, and me, too.)

About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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84 Responses to Ho-Ho Holiday Caption Contest

  1. Laura says:

    Worst “Wizard of Oz” remake ever.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “I have to go where?!?!? Iraq?!?!? Syria?!?!?. I’m doomed” lame I know…atleast I tried


  3. The Cutter says:

    I’ve been curious about Big Lots, but considering they’re in the same shopping center as Walmart and Target, I’ve never gone there.


  4. “where is that contact lens?”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The war on Christmas has its first casualty.

    Liked by 6 people

  6. “What did Mrs. Claus put in the eggnog?”

    Liked by 1 person

  7. franhunne4u says:

    “German Christmas-Markets are the worst …!”

    Since your “ancient” parents have at least ONE child I do not see how anything crude could get to them – they must have seen and heard the worst of it, anyway … Or even done it. You know, neither sex, nor drugs, nor wild partying started with your generation – or theirs, or … Trust me, if they say “Oh, Peg, that was really naughty!” in a horrified way, they only say so, because they know you expect them to.
    All this “keep the language clean” is completely unnecessary – either the person concerned is innocent – then they would not understand anyway what was meant – or they are in into the “joke” (and maybe just don’t like it) – then the worst that happens is they read something they have seen or heard before … Not that I will violate your behavior-code on your site. That will not do. It is as well then, that I could not think of anything ambiguous to write …


  8. charleen says:

    Santa suffered a horrible Macarena accident Tuesday…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Al says:

    “I should have listened to that Life Alert commercial after all!”

    Liked by 2 people

  10. mistyslaws says:

    He waited and waited and waited for just the right time, and finally Rudolf took his revenge on that big, fat user. A little drano spiked egg nog took care of him!


  11. M.Winter says:

    I like Big Lots. But Walmart? Classy? Oh dear. Although when I was living in Indiana, their Walmart was decent. But not classy.


  12. lexy3587 says:

    With the Christmas pre-party starting right after Halloween this year, Santa’s nog habit has really become an issue.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. “Was Black Friday worth it, Santa?”

    Liked by 2 people

  14. notquiteold says:

    Haven’t got a good caption, but I tend to think all blow up lawn decorations look like giant used condoms within a week.

    Liked by 5 people

  15. Ha,ha! I love Big Lots, it’s the place to get things you never knew you needed! 🙂 I’ll have to give this caption thing some thought. 🙂


  16. Habby burf day to eww.
    Habby burf day to ewwww *hic*.
    Habby burf day Baby Jeebus.
    Habby burf….zzzzzzzzzzzz.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Carrie Rubin says:

    “Stay tuned for ‘Santa Slayed,’ tonight’s episode of CSI: North Pole”

    Liked by 7 people

  18. “Damn, that was mighty fine eggnog”… (best done in slurred speech).

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Ronda Rousey 1
    Santa 0

    Liked by 5 people

  20. Margie says:

    The ‘Big Bad Wolf’ tried to blow down ‘Big Lots’ last week. There was one casualty.


  21. List of X says:

    Santa Claus puts his ear to the ground to find where he parked his reindeer.


  22. Where Is Christmas? Is it over yet?


  23. flyingplatypi says:

    “The morning after the office holiday party”



    Liked by 1 person

  24. Elyse says:

    “I wrote a post every day for November and nobody read them.”

    “Somebody says you have to hit rock bottom to be a writer. Here I am.”

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Lynn says:

    Now how did that freakin’ elf slip through this crack under the door? “I know you’re in there!”

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Famed Grandma Hijacks Santa’s Sleigh in Act of Revenge, Runs Jolly Fat Man Over with Own Reindeer.

    “That’s for those incriminating Claus marks you left on my back, you maniac,” witnesses reported the irate senior yelling over her shoulder before cackling and driving the sleigh up and away into the crisp night air.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. “Oh, good lord, even here at Big Lots I have to encounter those damn bell ringers?”

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Santa Trampled in Stampede During Big Lots Black Friday “Door Buster” Sale: Christmas 2015 Canceled.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Bill the Praise and Worship Guy says:

    I bow down to worship, O gods of Big Lots!


  30. Improper filling of ballast pockets A and C or under-inflation may result in prone or supine Santa. Peg-O-Leg Industries is not responsible for traumatized children or tripped holiday shoppers due to improperly maintained/installed inflatable characters.

    Liked by 2 people

    • pegoleg says:

      Jeez, most people can’t read our fine print even when they’re standing right next to one of our Blowup Buddies (which come in Naughty or Nice.) You must have fabulous eyesight!


  31. “Three sack to the wind”


  32. Little Voice says:

    You need a special ‘Caption’ logo to give to the winner. Now, I’ll get busy and come up with a caption so I can display said caption emblem on my blogsite for all to see.

    “Sweetheart, Santa has bad days too.”
    “No Honey, he’s not tired, he’s drunk.”
    “Bobby, don’t kick Santa when he’s down.”
    “Officer, he took one look at her, rolled over and just …”
    Santa sprung a leak. No, I didn’t say he took a leak.

    Enough already…here’s to Captionville!


  33. Blogdramedy says:

    “Peg’s my Secret Santa?!?!”


  34. Sandy Sue says:

    “Big Lots customers,” Punch-a-Santa muttered. “They’re the worst.”

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I’ve fallen and can’t get up. Damn.


  36. I’ve got nothing.

    That’s it. I hate those dang things. Though this year I might have to invest in a few just so I can fill them with helium and float them above my lawn. This I think would amuse me. I only want the grinch though.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Punch a Santa. Can’t top that. (Whew, trying to catch up. I feel like I’ve missed so much around here. Hope your holiday season is floating better than that Santa.) (Big Lots! It’s Wonderland)


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