Curl Up And Dye, You Gravy Sucking Pig

Try our meaty haunches!

 

Hair’s What’s Happening
The Mane Event
American Hairlines
From Hair to Eternity
Head Hunters
The Hairport
A Cut Above

We’ve all seen these signs.  Why do beauty salons seem to have a monopoly on bad pun names?  Is this something they teach in beauty school? Do students brainstorm corny names as they perfect the art of the Jheri Curl?

It’s about time other industries joined in the fun.  Here are a few suggestions:

 

  1. The Right Stuff:  Taxidermist
  2. Up In Smoke: Marijuana sales
  3. See You Later Alligator: Reptile petting zoo
  4. The Rite Stuff: Religious supplies
  5. Out On A Limb: Prosthesis manufacturer
  6. Trunk Show: Tree trimming service
  7. The White Stuff:  Betty White memorabilia shop
  8. The Grass is Always Greener:  Marijuana sales
  9. Pity Party: NASCAR pit crew
  10. Pushing Up Daisies: Florist (specializing in funeral arrangements)
  11. Out On A Limb: Tree trimming service
  12. The Fight Stuff: Boxing gym
  13. Up Periscope: Proctologist’s practice
  14. The Write Stuff: Bookstore
  15. Jeepers Creepers:  Optometrist
  16. The White Stuff:  Snow machine manufacturer
  17. Trunk Show: Elephant rentals for Indian weddings
  18. Must Give Us Paws: Shakespearean theater for dogs
  19. The Blight Stuff: Pesticide distributor
  20. Ex-Lax: Moving company
  21. Atlas Shrugged: Rand McNally map store
  22. The Wright Stuff: Airplane showroom
  23. Right Here In River City: Pool and billiard supplies
  24. Pole Vault: First National Bank of Warsaw
  25. The Bright Stuff: Electrical contractor
  26. The White Stuff: Cocaine dealer
  27. Curl Up & Dye, You Gravy Sucking Pig: Combination beauty salon/all-you-can-eat barbecue buffet

Disclaimer: The above names are assumed to be original. Any similarity to a business, living or dead, is sheer coincidence.  It could also be the fault of my unconscious mind committing plagiarism without my knowledge or consent.

More Disclaiming: I posted this a couple of years ago as a match-game, but that was WAY too much work for the average reader, so only 2 people read it.   Now I’ve done the heavy lifting for you.

What you got?

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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97 Responses to Curl Up And Dye, You Gravy Sucking Pig

  1. Oh my goodness. Love the hair salon/ barbecue joint!

    Like

  2. Chrystal says:

    Left overs – supplies for left-handed folks.
    The sky’s the limit – pilot school
    Macaroon & Cheese – a deli offering vegetarian sandwiches and small french cookies

    Like

  3. dmswriter says:

    Love #27! If the salon runs out of red hair dye, maybe they can dip into the bbq sauce for a backup. Just think of it – the vinegar will give your hair sheen, the ketchup will provide lustrous highlights, and the brown sugar gives those beachy waves we’re all dying for. You’re all set to ride an elephant to the Indian wedding!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      That’s a great idea! And with each application of Miss Clairol BBQ Red #4 they give you a stick to fight off the dogs that will follow you down the street.

      Like

  4. Daddy Bear says:

    Great stuff, although “Up In Smoke” is the name of a local tobacconist.
    I like where your head is at!
    😀

    Like

  5. Carrie Rubin says:

    I suppose as someone whose blog is called ‘The Write Transition,’ I should remain neutral…

    These are great. Loved the Betty White and optometrist one. The last one has such a lovely ring, too. Would you believe I used to own that Steve Martin comedy album? Listened to it all the time.
    ♫ Grandpaaaa bought a rubber. ♫
    (I sincerely hope you know what album I’m talking about. Otherwise that rubber comment is going to seem really weird. :/ )

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nagzilla says:

    I wanna know where I can find the Betty White memorabilia shop. This needs to be a thing.

    And in the “you can’t make this sh*t up” category, just down the road from us is a liquor store whose name is G. Will.

    G. Will Liquors.

    Say it aloud, you’ll get it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. There is a hair salon called “Curl Up and Dye” in Detroit. I think they skipped the BBQ though.

    Like

  8. notquiteold says:

    I always liked “Shear-Lock Combs” and “Lawn Order”

    Like

  9. These are great Peg! I know some real shop pun names but I’m darned if I can think of them right now! Oh wait…no…yes! There is a window shop in England called Pane in the Glass, ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Lynn says:

    Ha! So funny!

    Like

  11. franhunne4u says:

    Shouldn’t you be in London, Peg, the second royal baby is due!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I would like to see a Vietnamese restaurant called “What The Pho?”

    (I don’t know how to make the squiggly question mark thing over the o)

    Like

  13. A couple of real Punny business names in my area:

    Hernia Movers: yup – they move furniture.
    3 Guys & a Truck: Another moving outfit – I’m sensing a trend, here…

    We also have a cigar bar called Nice Ash…I love this place 😀

    Like

  14. There’s a salon in my town called “The Split End”. Can you imagine ever choosing to take your mane to a place with that name???

    Like

  15. There’s a store called “Sew What!” near where I live……..I imagine a bunch of sassy knitters hang out there…….

    Liked by 3 people

  16. Lol I do believe I’ve come across some of these silly named stores in my travels

    Like

  17. Elyse says:

    Curl Up and Dye was the hair salon in The Blues Brothers. I remember because I stupidly watched that movie shortly after having abdominal surgery and was afraid my guts would fall out if I laughed. I saw the sign in Carrie Fisher’s beauty parlor and nearly did bust a gut …

    Like

  18. Numbers 5 and 26 Peg were exceptional. :O)

    Like

  19. Al says:

    Can’t stop laughing about the “up periscope.” If that’s already taken, then “know butts about it” might still be available.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Bwahaha! Why don’t doctors have a better sense of humor about this sort of thing? They’re always all serious about it just because it’s a matter of life and death. Oh.

      Like

  20. I remember these – so clever. Too bad you can’t make some money selling the rights to these pun-tastic names!

    Like

  21. This is alight stuff, even if you did plagiarize the name of my Shakespearean theatre for dogs. (I have a new dream now.)

    Like

  22. Blunderdad says:

    Tree services are as guilty as hair salons: A cut above, Out on a limb, Top notch.

    As a tree trimmer I notice, and am annoyed by these.

    Like

  23. There is a veterinarian near here who bills himself as “The Ace of Spays”.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. susielindau says:

    I like The Joint for chiropractic work and Boulder Baked for weed. Real names….
    I bet you had fun with this!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      The punny-named smoke shops must be growing like weed where you are. There used to be a chiropractor in town here named Dr. Kneebone. Some people’s destiny is chosen for them, eh?

      Like

  25. I love puns! But i hate it when people use a pun and then wink at you and ask ‘You get it? You get it?!’ (I’m somewhat of a grump, except when I’m not.)
    And might I say those are some rad dresses you’ve put on ’em ladies!

    Like

  26. Barb says:

    I once stopped at the All American Chinese Steak House. It had something for everyone (except good food).

    Like

  27. These are all brilliant but I especially love the Betty White one because I really, really want to go there. Just down the road from me (I live surrounded by farms) is Laughing Stock Farm. My town also has businesses called Sumthin’s Fishy and Hair’s To You. I’m not sure which one served seafood to be honest with you.

    Like

  28. Number 18 is right up my alley! 🙂
    There is a Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood called Wok Right In. 😛

    Like

  29. ericafuni says:

    I get a haircut about once a year. Throw in a BBQ buffet and I’ll be there once a week.

    Like

  30. Oh Peg, these are PERFECT! I’m always impressed when I see a clever name of a business and think, why didn’t I think of that? You need to be a consultant to businesses of all types. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂

    Like

  31. John Hall says:

    Personally, I only allow Mr Bruce at Tortoise and Hair to touch me!
    He also makes a splendid Martini, which he gives me free!
    (He is a bit pricey, though, so be aware he’s not for you plebs.)

    Like

  32. John Hall says:

    Mr. Bruce has been bought out. Sob. The new owner is changing the salon’s name to: Hair Today Gone Tomorrow. Sob. No more martinis.

    Like

  33. You have no idea how much I loved this. Best business name I’ve seen is a dentist: The Decay Slayer. It’s not even a pun, but I want to drive the three hours it would take to be their patient. You just know they’re not going to be stingy with the gas at a place like that.

    Like

  34. All perfect, you are far to creative. I think you might be in the wrong business.

    Like

  35. Dana says:

    Shear Madness, we curl up and die for you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  36. All this hilarity in one spot….overload. Punny overload.
    Really enjoyed all the fun, thanks

    Like

  37. Shannon says:

    We have a place near us called ‘Tipsy Nails.’ My 8-year-old asked me driving by it one day, “Why would anyone want a drunk person painting her nails?” She makes a valid point.

    Of course, I joking go into my slurring drunk routine to crack my kids up. Cover one eye with a hand and squinting through the other, pretending to hold a paintbrush steady, “Whuuud ya like PINK ooooor, maybe, the *hick* salmon color…”

    Like

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