All In The Political Family: When Mom & Dad Play Favorites

Mom & Dad in a happier time.

Dear Mom & Dad,

We need to talk.  Parents are supposed to love all their kids equally, but it’s obvious you care more for some of your other states than you do for me.  It’s breaking my heart.

I know for a fact you visit Wisconsin all the time because I see your car in the driveway.  Same for Iowa.  I live right next-door, for goodness sake, but do you stop by?  No!  It’s as if I’m dead to you.

Before you say it’s all in my head, let me tell you us kids have been talking and I’m not the only one who’s noticed.  Poor West Virginia said she’s got tread marks on her scalp from you running over her in your zeal to get to your precious, widdle Ohio-pookums.  How do you think that makes us feel?

I haven’t seen either of you in months.  You don’t write, you don’t call, you haven’t bought one, single mud-slinging campaign ad on my local channels.  You don’t care what I think and that hurts.  It hurts deeply.   If it weren’t for this faded photo from the primaries, I wouldn’t even remember what you look like.

Mom, you take me for granted.  You think I’m the “good” kid who will love you no matter what.   Don’t be too sure.   And Dad, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but we can still salvage this relationship. Don’t give up on me!

It’s not the money…all I want is an equal share of your love and attention.   Although I’ve got to admit, the way you’ve been showering the swing sibs with gifts and nothing for the rest of us, well, it cuts like a knife.   It seems we have been written out of your will.

Nevada, Florida and North Carolina are bragging about all the pork they’re going to get and Colorado said you promised her Grandma’s ring.

Apparently there is a Santa Claus, at least if you’re Virginia.

Ohio’s the worst- she’s becoming insufferable.  You can’t turn on the TV or open a paper without seeing the two of you sucking up to her.  Show some dignity, for goodness sake.  What’s so great about her?  Why do you love HER more than ME???

Keep playing favorites like this and it’s going to backfire on you.  Your faves will spend all your money and leave you old, sick and poor.  When that happens, don’t come crawling to the rest of us for help.  I’m sure you can count on your darling Pennsylvania to give you a home.  A nursing home, that is.

Your Heartbroken Daughter,

Illinois

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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51 Responses to All In The Political Family: When Mom & Dad Play Favorites

  1. Some states have all the luck. It’s not fair that some voters are treated to all the political ads while others get none.

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  2. bigsheepcommunications says:

    Well, maybe those favorite siblings would prefer a little LESS attention, ya know??

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  3. Yeah, neither of them ever remember me, either…all alone, stuck way up here in the corner of the map. I guess they just assume I always like Mom best, so why bother?

    (this was hilarious, loved the paint photo…. Pegolego…I smell FP again)

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    • pegoleg says:

      My Paint program has about 10 colors, and none of them is flesh-toned. I think Dad’s head reads more “yarmulke” than “bald spot” as I intended.

      Are you safe from the storm there, Darlicane?

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      • Just when I thought you couldn’t top “Darlevanescence”

        I don’t think I’m safe from frankenstorm. It’s a-blowin’ in sometime around 4 pm and I’ve got my bathtub full of beer in preparation.

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  4. I feel an FP coming on. I was beginning to worry when you were quiet. But clearly, you were writing this masterpiece. I hope people click over today. By the way, how’s that going? I’m curious. 😉

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    • pegoleg says:

      Life has been…complicated lately, Renee. I am enjoying basking in a bit of your reflected glory – thanks so much for the plug! I think I deserve another month because this one just flew by.

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  5. I feel the same way, but, let’s face it, when else does Ohio get any recognition except maybe at a second grade spelling bee?

    Funny post. You are so clever! 🙂

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  6. Al says:

    Dear “Annoyed in Illinois”,

    Does the phrase “count your blessings” have a familiar ring? Do you have any idea what we would give to be a flyover state? Try our first born. Not only are we inundated with uninvited visits from the two “cousin Eddies” at all hours, we also have to put up with the most obnoxious neighbor ever. That’s right, I’m talking D.C. here.

    Tonight before you retire, and there’s still not a presidential candidate (or mom and dad as you call them) within your borders, please light a candle for those of us who are far less fortunate.

    Sincerely,
    Ginned up in Virginia

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  7. List of X says:

    I live in a state which is firmly on Mom’s side, don’t watch TV at all, yet I still keep seeing and hearing Mom’s reminders not to make Dad head of the household.

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  8. Great post as always lady. Being a Brit, I can’t usually muster up a whole lot of enthusiasm for blog posts about US politics, but I loved this one! I know that whatever happens in American politics does end up affecting us here too, so I probably should take more notice in general, but…ya know?

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    • pegoleg says:

      If you even know the names of the main combatants you’re ahead of most Americans. Sometimes I watch the Prime Minister’s Minute on TV and I’m amazed at how little I know of the British system – fascinating!

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  9. Tar-Buns says:

    Cute, Peg. At first I thought you were referring to our M&D. Then I saw the photo. Whew….
    I can hardly wait for all this politicking to end. Sick of the commercials.
    We are due to get the after affect of Sandy Nasty storm. Winds are already very high and the next two days it will increase. Sure hope we don’t lose power. School can, that’s OK 🙂 but not the house, please! And hopefully no trees come down.

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    • pegoleg says:

      No, with our parents I KNOW they like me best. 🙂

      I didn’t know the storm was going to go as far west as Michigan. Hope you have a freak storm that only knocks out power at you’re school.

      I don’t think we’re going to get anything. In fact, it’s cold and sunny here, so I’m going for a walk right after work. Gotta take advantage before it’s dark at 5!

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  10. k8edid says:

    Oh, to be a flyover state…I am ready to puncture my own ear drums so that I no longer have to endure the marathon of political ads and craziness. I have considered getting good and drunk and staying that way until after the election…but that seems like a rather drastic measure. I do love your picture, though – nice work, Miss O’Leg.

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  11. Count your blessings, Peg! Sometimes it’s good to be ignored. My partner and I take turns yelling at the TV; the poor dogs don’t know where to hide!!

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  12. mistyslaws says:

    I feel your pain, Peg. My state just gets a passing pat on the head as the rents are heading to VA. We maybe get a token ad every now and hen, but really, you can tell their hearts aren’t really in it. I almost feel as if we should put ourselves up for adoption! I’m sure someone out there would want us. Right?

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  13. pattisj says:

    VIrginia will be more than happy to share some of those ads with you. PLEEEEZE take them! Thanks for the reminder, I’m votin’ for Santa! He always treats me right.

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  14. Tori Nelson says:

    Obama is downright ROCKING the red lips look. I don’t know quite how I feel about it 🙂

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  15. Lovely. I am eternally grateful to live in a stepchild state.

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  16. I’ve grown weary of all the political jabs and jives on Facebook lately and when I saw your post I sighed heavily and ignored it for 23 hours. Now I can clearly see that was a HUGE mistake. Bravo my dear, not only have you written what someone has already called “a masterpiece” but you made politics interesting for me again. That’s no easy feat!

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    • pegoleg says:

      I’m trying to steer clear of the political sharks and just touch on issues that red and blue can both embrace. Maybe I’m a peacemaker, and maybe I’m just a coward.

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  17. Sibling Ohio here. I’m ready to trade in my favorite child status just to have one minute of peace. The last time I watched TV, the first 4 commercials in a row were political.

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    • pegoleg says:

      This reminds me of my Grandma who always talked about our cousins and what model children they were. We hated them on principle because they were her clear favorites. Years later when talking to one of them he said “what do you mean – all she talked about when she visited us was what paragons of virtue YOU guys were!”

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  18. Barb says:

    Ain’t it the truth? They’re not even playing political ads here. We don’t even count. At first I thought I’d be an undecided female voter and see if I could get some attention, but I’m like Cinderella pre-ball event. Ignored by all but birds and mice. I’m ready to write my own name on the ticket, just to feel wanted again.

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  19. Go Jules Go says:

    Ha! What a great idea for a post. Because we all know parents play favorites no matter what they say. Just ask my parents. Signed, The Favorite

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  20. Sandy Sue says:

    Really? You *want* them to notice you? It’s no fun having to hide your cigs and condoms.

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  21. sukanyabora says:

    Forgot how funny you are Peg! Thanks for the laugh.

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  22. Pingback: Can’t We All Just Get Along? « Ramblings of an Angry Middle Age Woman

  23. Dana says:

    And while we’re on the subject, why doesn’t anybody care about CANADA? Illinois, you got a giant party when everything was said and done. But Canada? Nothing but impending winter weather and more of that awful guy in the sweater! Where’s the justice? 🙂

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