Turning Dine Whining Into Fine Dining

How can restaurants make dining out a great experience?  It’s the little things that count.

My family went to dinner at Applebee’s the other night.  The food was good but minor annoyances practically wrecked the evening.  My hubby Bill forgot his glasses and couldn’t read the menu.  The place was an icebox and daughter Gwen and I were freezing.  Finally, there was a bratty kid picking his nose in the next booth, which ruined all of our appetites.

“There’s not much you can do about that stuff, is there?” you ask, rhetorically.

“Au contraire” I say (with a really authentic French accent).  These problems are  opportunities in disguise.  Opportunities that the savvy restaurateur can now exploit, thanks to Peg-Co.

Introducing the Anti-Whine & Dine line of customer care advertising products.  With Peg-Co, the smart restaurant owner can improve the dining experience and imprint their name in the customers’ mind at the same time.  It’s a win/win situation!

Take a look at some of our ingenious products:

Personal Gross Shield:  Dining room real estate is so valuable that people are packed in like sardines.  A diner is bound to be off his feed when an obnoxious kid is picking his nose only a foot away.    A nauseated diner is one who does not order those all-important appetizers.

Now you can rescue that cheese-sticks order with the Personal Gross Shield (PGS).  With a PGS strategically placed between the offended and the offendee, your more sensitive patrons can look at your logo instead of their disgusting neighbors.

Bon Bun Warmer In a typical restaurant the staff spends all their time running in and out of a steamy kitchen while the patrons do nothing more strenuous than sit on their booties, sipping a cold one.  The sweaty staff controls the thermostat – no wonder most restaurant dining rooms are colder than a meat locker!

A frozen customer doesn’t linger.  If you can’t keep Chilly Charlie’s buns in the booth, how are you going to round out his order with those profitable extra drinks?

Introducing the Bon Bun Warmer – the advertising Snuggie!

The next time Freezing Fran whines about an Arctic draft blowing on the back of her neck, you’ve got her covered.  Your corporate logo custom-embroidered on the cowl ensures she won’t forget who to thank for putting an end to her personal ice age.

Elton John Ad-Eye-Wear: What physical complaint is shared by 80% of the over-40 population?  No, I don’t mean a nonexistent sex drive.   Ha ha!  Seriously.  The most common symptom of aging is the inability to read a thing without magnifying glasses.  What to do if a diner forgets his drug-store cheater glasses? While you don’t want patrons reading the really fine print (i.e. that bleu cheese costs $2 more), they can’t order at all if they can’t see the menu.

Spare your customers the indignity of an arm-stretch contortion session with Elton John Ad-Eye-Wear.  While they peruse the menu in squint-free comfort, everyone else will be staring at them.  That’s because these stylish glasses turn the wearer’s face into a living billboard!

Waist Not/Want Knot: Extra-generous restaurant portions leave some patrons in danger of popping a button.  This is especially true with the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Now customers can make room for dessert (ala carte) with the Waist Not/Want Knot.  This clever extender ties on to the over-indulging customer’s belt or waistband.  The genuine faux metal (plastic) belt-buckle emblazoned with your logo provides extra stomachal AND advertising real estate.  Patrons will proudly wear this fashion statement long after leaving your establishment.

Medicine Treasure Chest:  Lots of places provide toothpicks for their patrons, but why stop there?  If picking your teeth in public is acceptable, there are lots of personal hygiene products the savvy restaurateur can slap their name on.  How about advertising dental floss?  Nose hair trimmers?  Bikini wax kits?  A well-stocked Medicine Treasure Chest in your lobby tells your customer you care about them AND their hygiene.

(Don’t forget to lay in a supply of extra Personal Gross Shields first – they make a great, tie-in advertising opportunity as well as shielding your more easily offended patrons.)

Call and talk to one of our trained monkeys…er, agents, to find out how Peg-Co can help grow your business.

With Peg-Co’s line of Anti-Whine & Dine products, the smart restaurateur can be a modern-day Rumpelstiltskin spinning the straw of inconvenience into golden profits!

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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49 Responses to Turning Dine Whining Into Fine Dining

  1. Lenore Diane says:

    We took the boys to Waffle House once. To this day, Joe refuses to go back. “It’s too cold at Waffle House.” He says every time. Please send me a kid size Bon Bun Warmer, because I am craving some hash browns, scattered and covered.

    Like

  2. bigsheepcommunications says:

    Peg, you have the heart and soul of an infomercial marketer – true brilliance.

    Like

  3. I think refrigerated section of supermarkets might jump on that snuggie idea, then I wouldn’t have to lug along a jacket to keep warm every time I go food shopping

    Like

  4. I LOVE the way you think!!

    Like

  5. Al says:

    Restaurant paraphernalia! What a brilliant idea. If it works for pro sports teams, it will work for the likes of Ruby Tuesdays. Kudos to Peg Co. But before you get too big a head, remember, you didn’t build it, we did.

    Like

  6. mistyslaws says:

    Why stop at just making the customers comfy with a snuggie? Why not install couches in your restaurants instead of booths. That way, the customer can lounge and get super comfy, maybe even falling asleep. And if you charge for the time there, and not just the food? You will make millions. I think you and I need to go into business together. With my brains and your looks . . . we would be unstoppable!! 🙂

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Add troughs for the patrons to, er, shall we say…relieve themselves with a feather down the throat, and we’ve got a brand new dining concept that pays homage to history – the Roman Forum!

      Like

  7. amelie88 says:

    Forget restaurants being freezing (I’ve never had that problem), what about movie theaters? The employees don’t have the excuse of a steamy kitchen to keep the AC on so low! I never enjoy going to see a movie in the summer because I know I need to bring along a sweatshirt! I look slightly ridiculous toting around one when it’s 100 degrees out!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I never go to movie theaters, so they don’t bother me. We used to have only one window air conditioner in the living room of our house, and it was stuck on “high”. I’d sit in there in full sweatsuit-mode on 90+ degree days and feel the same way as you – ridiculous!

      Like

  8. Margie says:

    You have a remarkable gift for thinking outside the box. I expect your co-workers, family, friends, therapist etc say the same thing…

    Like

  9. misswhiplash says:

    how you had the patience and stamina to stay put I shall never know….I’d have been out of there like a bullet from a gun…first having a go at the boy’s parents and then the manager. I definitely would not have spent my money there……

    Like

  10. Audrey says:

    Sign me up!!
    It is funny how all those little things can ruin a dining experience… Especially the part about being cold!

    Like

  11. I’m afraid I’ll never visit Applebee’s again without wondering if someone in the next booth is about to commence a bikini wax!

    Like

  12. Go Jules Go says:

    You had me at “Waist Not / Want Not”! That might be my FAVORITE picture you’ve ever done, too, which is really saying something. I think partly because I loathe Cracker Barrel, and I can totally see them carrying those pants in their ‘country stores.’

    And the toothpicks! Don’t get me started on public teeth picking! I think I’d almost rather the nose picking. At least everyone NOSE, I mean KNOWS, that’s wrong.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Public tooth- picking: I’m with you. I used to have a business associate who was so determined to get the piece of gristle between his molars he’d go in after it with the corner of a book of matches. Criminey!

      Speaking of Cracker Barrel I’ve got to say we went there a couple of months ago and I had the most delicious piece of grilled, crusted trout I’ve ever had. I know. I was floored.

      Like

    • mistyslaws says:

      Jules-are you telling me you don’t like Cracker Barrel? But but but . . . Have you TRIED their Mac & cheese? It’s freaking magical! You may need to try it and rethink this misplaced prejudice you have. If you ever visit me/Thoughtsy we MUST convert you! For shame.

      Like

      • Go Jules Go says:

        Ninja Snaps, I could go on for days about this! LOL Part of it is my loyalty to the Jersey diner, and the other part of it is I feel like if I’m going to consume 3,000+ calories in one sitting, I [usually] want to do it under the guise of sophistication (Jersey diners not withstanding). It’s a whole complicated system [in my head] by which fried onions and cream sauce with a side of bacon is suddenly okay if served over a white tablecloth by a hipster waitress.

        I’m not saying I’m proud of this, but there it is. I’m like this horrible Frankenstein foodie. Avoiding fast food, food courts and food trucks once minute, but eating a Lean Pocket for breakfast the next.

        Like

        • pegoleg says:

          Frankenstein foodie – ha! At least you’re honest about your pretensions. And you’re right – any old fashioned, fat-laden food is new again when delivered with a heapin’ helpin’ of ironic.

          Like

  13. mj monaghan says:

    You’ve got some genius ideas there, Peg. I like the PGS. And my wife would love the Bon Bun Warmer, She’s frequently freezing as well.

    Like

  14. Brilliant stuff, Pego. I am freezing my butt off right now. And I can’t see anything. Your products would be ideal. But do you have anything for the nonexistent sex drive? For a friend, of course…

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Tell your “friend” that’s a consequence of too much responsibility in life. “she” should try not to have so friggin’ much on “her” plate and should schedule time for “herself”. That includes “play” with “her” “spouse”. By which I mean Scrabble.

      Like

      • How about Yahtzee? I think any game in which you can suddenly yell at the top of your lungs might spice up our relationship.

        Like

        • pegoleg says:

          When someone mentions a fun game that a couple can play to spice up their relationship, that involves suddenly yelling at the top of their lungs, my first thought is…also Yahtzee!

          I knew we were simpatico on lots of different levels.

          Like

  15. winsomebella says:

    Oh my…..I am grossly overdue for a laugh… thanks peg-o-leg.!!

    Like

  16. I bow to the Photoshop Queen and the genius behind the doctored pictures! Too freaking funny!

    Like

  17. Seems like that personal gross shield really cuts down on the likelihood that any nose-pickers will be able to share their bounty with you, though.

    Like

  18. Barb says:

    You gave WHAM-O products all their creative designs, didn’t you.?

    Like

  19. Emma says:

    I used to eat at Applebee’s many years ago when I spent a summer in Delaware. Oh, the memories of that summer.
    Those are some good products. Maybe you can sell them on ebay?? 🙂

    Like

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