The topic to be covered today is near and dear to everyone’s heart. You will be deeply moved and, at the same time, you will laugh out loud. I don’t wish to be immodest but the fact is that reading this will change your life. It is the greatest blog post in the history of mankind!
At least it was going to be. I forgot what I was going to say.
I do a lot of my writing while thinking out-loud in my car, as I’ve mentioned before. Today, the most scathingly brilliant idea hit me like a thunderbolt in the McDonald’s drive-through (the slowest lane, naturally.) The details fleshed themselves out in the bank drive-through (the dance lane.)
A near-perfect first draft of The Idea, one that would not require any of my usual, tortuous rewrites and revisions, dropped fully formed onto my mental lap in the space of one lunch hour.
All I had to do was write it down.
I rushed back to my office, careful to moderate my speed as I passed Officer Friendly in his squad car. I parked in front of my office (in the space formerly-shaded-by-a-former-tree) and dashed inside. I stopped briefly at the front desk to drop off a deposit slip and pick up my messages (one was about a health insurance quote and the other was a request for a charitable donation.)
Back in my office I quickly fired up my computer, ignoring my full email inbox and the Notice of Anti-virus update that popped up. I got a fresh, blank Word document started and…and…
No Idea presented itself.
I searched my mental filing cabinet. Wasn’t it something about the po-lice? No. Something about banking? No. Drive-throughs? No.
I cudgeled my cranium. How about shade trees? Bookkeeping? No. No.
It was there, somewhere right on the tip of my brain, if I could just access it. Spam email solicitations for shade tree insurance??? No, no, and NO!
It was gone. The Idea was gone. It had taken flight from the safety of my hippo-campus and ended up – Splat! – on the pavement in my head.
I’m very sorry to announce there will be no post today. And the worst, the almost criminally tragic thing is, it would have been the greatest blog post ever written. Trust me.