(Drum roll please…)
Announcing the first, ever, Peg-o-Leg writing competition!!!!!
Here’s what it’s all about.
I was strolling through the Goodwill Thrift Store a few weeks ago when I came across the great, vintage blazer pictured here. I am all about the vintage.
When I got it home and tried it on again, I discovered that in addition to mad style, The Jacket harbored a secret.
Hidden in the pocket was a folded slip of paper. On that slip of paper someone had handwritten just a name – Tom Wojciechowski. There was also a (clean) folded Kleenex in the pocket.
Not only did I have a groovy fashion accessory, I had a mystery. Who is Tom Wojciechowski? Of course I immediately started working on theories. I had 2 possible scenarios drafted and was going to write a whole series of posts on the topic, when it occurred to me that this was way too much work.
Why not have my readers do it?
What: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to craft a story to explain how The Jacket and the slip of paper are connected.
How: Submit your original story, which should be 400 words or less, along with your name and contact info on the form provided here.
Why: The winner will be entitled to bragging rights, accolades and the universal adoration of the bloggy world. In addition, the talented writer will win….wait for it…The Jacket! That’s right. You get The Jacket, which is sure to provide a style boost for any wardrobe.
Who: You! Any and all are encouraged to submit an entry. You can use your funny voice, your macabre voice, your indoor voice or any other style you want. This could be an epic love story (soon to be a made-for-TV movie) or a tale of alien abduction.
When: Entries must be received by Friday, March 9. I will publish every entry I receive on Fridays. By next week I hope to have figured out how to have a picture/link thing-a-ma-bob set up in the right-hand column of this blog.
I’m probably going to have to make up some WordPress IDs and submit my own ideas just to make it look like people are playing, but on the off chance I get a multitude of legitimate entries, I will select a short-list of finalists. Then all y’all will vote to determine the ultimate winner. This way I figure I’ve got about a month to figure out how to get one of those PolliPapa things into place.
The FAQs of Life:
– “What if the winning writer is a 300-pound lineman or 90-pound waif, thereby making The Jacket a poor fashion choice?” You could make a bomb, retro pillow out of the fabric. Or you can choose a $20 gift card to Applebees instead.
– “What if the winning writer doesn’t like The Jacket?” In the immortal words of Mr. T, I pity the fool. But there’s no accounting for taste. Anyone can choose the $20 gift card and I get to keep The Jacket.
– “What if the winning writer lives in Outer Mongolia, and the only way to get The Jacket to them is by overland elephant caravan which costs approximately 83,246 sheckles?” I’ll pay up to $20 for postage. That seems fair, don’t you think?
– “Are you getting it all cheesy?” No. I only tried it on for the picture. Sorely though I may be tempted, I will NOT be wearing it again. It will hang, unmolested, in my closet until it is awarded to the uber-talented winner of this competition.
– “Can I use lots of bad words in my entry?” No. Risqué=good. Obscene=bad. Remember, this is a family blog and it is entirely possible that my parents will someday figure out how to get on the internet and read it. I reserve the right to edit (or ask you to edit) your submission.
– “What’s so special about this jacket?” It’s bright green polyester, ladies size 8, made by Aileen and washable. Based on sophisticated fiber analysis and hazy memories of my own closet, I figure it enjoyed its fashion heyday sometime between 1975 and 1985.
– “What’s to keep you from just awarding the prize to a bloggy buddy?” I promise to be an impartial judge. Friendship means nothing to me. My word is my bond. Contributions to my Swiss bank account, however, will be duly noted.
– “You’re not qualified to judge Judy, let alone a writing competition!” That’s not a question.
If nobody sends in an entry, it will feel like throwing a birthday party in 7th grade. At a roller-rink. And your mom cooked up lots of brownies and stuff, and you invited the whole class and had a new, olive-green wool outfit for the occasion, and as the minutes ticked by and nobody came and you realized that a form-fitting, knit top and pants was NOT a good look for a fat girl, the color was not at all flattering, besides being itchy and hot and way too dressy for roller skating, and the brownies turned to sawdust in your mouth as there wasn’t anybody there to skate with, except a couple of your brothers and sisters who were going around and around the floor under the disco ball, while the DJ played “I Think I Love You”, and your mom stood by the brownies with that “my-heart-is-breaking-for-you-but-I-don’t-want-to-show-it” encouraging smile on her face…
That’s just a vague guess of what it MIGHT feel like if nobody sends an entry to this contest. Nothing like that ever really happened, of course. Ha ha! Of course not!
This may be just the shot-in-the-arm your writing career needs. It is probably just how Euripides and Jane Austen got their starts. Get going on your own version of “The Jacket”, and soon YOU may be the lucky stiff sauntering down the streets of her (probably “her” – unless you’re a really small “him”) town, proudly sporting The Stylish Jacket of Bloggy Writing Fame.
HEY! THIS FORM RIGHT DOWN HERE IS FOR STORY ENTRIES! Comments go somewhere down below that. Some of your wonderful gems of Comment gold are getting sent to my inbox instead of my blog. I truly appreciate your words, but nobody else can see them.
OOPS! Sorry, folks, nothing to see here. The deadline to enter is past. But check out the entries posted so far and get ready to vote once all the entrants have had their day in my bloggy sun, and the finalists have been selected.