Gwen Prosody, a retired English professor, has been an outspoken critic of the PAC tax. Ms. Prosody said, “This is a regressive tax, like those on tobacco, alcohol and lottery tickets. It penalizes the poorest in our country. Do we want to be a country where only the wealthy can afford proper English?”
The Professor continued: “The effect is seen most startlingly with the young. Notoriously cash-strapped teens have embraced the change. An examination of their texting habits shows they have all but abandoned punctuation and capital letters, formerly essential elements of writing. They have, in effect, created a sub-language they call PAC-Man.”
“Once a vital means of communication, language has become yet another barrier separating the young from the old; the rich from the poor.”
When asked for her reaction to the decision of the University of California, Berkeley to add PAC-Man to their core English curriculum, Professor Prosody responded with a sound best described as a snort.
Congressman Ed Snollygoster, author of the PAC tax legislation, defended his signature project. “When this investment in our future was passed into law, doomsayers predicted it would mark the end of civilization as we know it. After one year we see that the PAC’s effects have been overwhelmingly positive. I don’t count the actions of a fringe group of youngsters, who are always looking for ways to tweak the establishment’s nose.” the congressman added with a laugh.
Snollygoster continued: “While budget estimates may have been a bit optimistic, the PAC has still brought much needed revenue into the nation’s coffers. After all, if we want America to continue to lead the world with such endeavors as the National Cowboy Poetry Gathering, the money must come from somewhere.”
Media mogul Rupert Murdoch today issued the following press release:
“News Corporation publications will adopt the PAC-Man styling for all of our written media, effective immediately this includes online content newspapers and magazines is this an attempt to avoid paying taxes definitely murdoch said not we look upon this as an opportunity to enhance the English language confusion should be short-lived as we adapt to the new style we hope young adults will assist their elders death and taxes are not the only certainties in life he continued so is change
in a related announcement congressman snollygoster today proposed an amendment to the tax code which would add a tax on spaces tothepactheamendedtaxwouldbecalledthespac