Did you know that alcohol has calories?
If you’re following along, you’ll know that this is the summer of the family weight-loss challenge. We just finished the third week, and I conducted a little experiment over the weekend. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen the results with my own eyes, but apparently alcohol can make you fat.
Here’s the mathematical proof.
Total pre-party weight loss: 10 pounds
+ 75 family members and friends
+ 5 haunches of beef
+ 15 pounds of chicken
+ 25 pounds of Portillo’s pasta salad
+ 2 huge cakes
+ 3 or so bottles of wine
Total Monday morning weight loss: 8 pounds
YES, THAT IS A GAIN OF 2 POUNDS!
After a week of pain and sacrifice, how could just one night of debauchery produce such a calamitous result?
I was doing fine at the party – little beef, little chicken, little salad, little wine. The wine was an unassuming little chardonnay, fruity yet unubiquitous. It had a distinct grapefruit juice under-tone. And grapefruit juice is good for you. So I had a little more.
It was late in the evening, and most of the guests had gone home. I saw it from across the yard – dark as the night had become, it called to me. A double-chocolate layer cake, all by its lonesome. I went to keep it company.
It’s like I tell my daughters. When you drink you make bad choices.
Now I’ve got to just shake this off and get back to work. The important thing is for all of us to eat sensibly and lose weight responsibly for the sake of our health.
Besides, half of the family contestants were at the same party and it looked like I wasn’t the only one enjoying fine, fatty foods and liberal libations. I may still be ok.