Curl Up & Dye You Gravy Sucking Pig

Try our meaty haunches!

Why are beauty salon names so often bad puns?

Hair’s What’s Happening, The Mane Event, American Hairlines,  From Hair to Eternity, Head Hunters, The Hairport, A Cut Above, Simply Hair-resistible,…we could go on and on.   Consider the establishment mentioned in the title, a combination hair salon and all-you-can-eat buffet restaurant.

Do students brainstorm new names as they perfect the art of the Jheri Curl?  Are hair stylists cornier than everyone else?   Why should they have all the fun?

It’s about time other industries got in on the action. 

I’ve started things off with a few suggestions.  The business names and industries have been scrambled to make it more challenging.  Can you match them up? 

Beware; there may be more than one correct answer.

  1. The Right Stuff                              a.  Rand McNally outlet store
  2. The Grass is Greener                    b. Electrical contractor
  3. Up In Smoke                                  c.  Columnist
  4. See You Later Alligator               d.  First National Bank of Warsaw
  5. The Rite Stuff                                 e.  Snow machine manufacturer
  6. Out On A Limb                               f.  Proctology practice
  7. Trunk Show                                   g.  Airplane manufacturers
  8. The White Stuff                              h. Optometrist
  9. Pity Party                                       i.  Movers
  10. Pushing Up Daisies                        j.  Religious supplies
  11. Up Periscope                                 k.  Pool supplies
  12. The Write Stuff                              l.  Prosthetic manufacturer
  13. Jeepers Creepers                         m.  Taxidermist
  14. The White Stuff                             n.  Medical marijuana
  15. Must Give Us Paws                      o.  NASCAR pit crew
  16. Ex-Lax                                            p.  Cocaine dealer
  17. Atlas Shrugged                              q. Reptile petting zoo
  18. The Wright Stuff                            r.  Shakespearean theater for dogs
  19. Right Here In River City               s. Tree trimming service
  20. The Pole Vault                                t. Lawn service
  21. The Bright Stuff                             u. Florist (specializing in funeral arrangements)

Disclaimer:  The above names are assumed to be original.  Any similarity to any business, living or dead, is either sheer coincidence, or is the fault of my unconscious mind committing plagiarism without my knowledge or consent.

The author welcomes wince-worthy additions to this list.

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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18 Responses to Curl Up & Dye You Gravy Sucking Pig

  1. bigsheepcommunications says:

    The title of this post was so “special” that I almost decided not to read it. Then I saw the photo and I really didn’t want to read it, but I couldn’t help myself. I recommend avoiding hair salons that have the word “barn” in the title, e.g., Susie’s Beauty Barn. It can’t be a good thing.

    Like

  2. bobcb518 says:

    Hair Sculpturing – The Braidy Bunch

    The other day I passed a billboard the said “Dr. Lamey – Chiropractor”.

    Your business quiz was quite clever.

    Like

  3. Al says:

    How about “Ain’t nothin but the reel thing, baby” for a bait shop.

    Like

  4. Hilarious!! Up till now my faves have been “Hair 911” and “Happy Nail,” my daughter’s nail salon in DC. We figure they just manicure one nail.

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  5. Fun post, Peggy…we have “Hairacy’s” and “Micheline’s Mane Station” here (which reminds me…this “gravy sucking pig” needs a dye job).

    I had a terrible time with the quiz! Favourites were “The Pole Vault” and “Atlas Shrugged” (which I think I matched with the correct type of business!).

    Wendy

    Like

  6. John Hunsinger says:

    A chiropractor could call his business…The Lumbar Yard.

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  7. Libertarian says:

    How about “Hairacy,” “Curl Up and Dye,” or “Hairs to You!” for a clipping emporium??

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  8. Libertarian says:

    Oops… I guess Curl Up & Dye was already used – in the headline, duh!! They must have clipped a little to much off last time I was in the shop!!

    Like

  9. pegoleg says:

    Hey, “A Little Off The Top” combination hairstylist/lobotomist!

    Like

  10. shenanitim says:

    I figure it’s a matter of sanity. If you’re a barber/stylist and you don’t have any customers at the moment, there’s probably not much for you to do. I mean, once you sweep the floors and sterilize the clippers, all you can do is imagine what YOUR salon would be called.

    I am a big fan of puns though, bad ones and the uh… worse ones (are there good puns?), and also of haircutters, so my theorizing should be taken with a grain of salt.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      So stylists just have more time on their hands than other professions? Interesting. I, too, am a fan of bad puns, but it’s not something I usually admit. Seems to be some shame attached to the admission.

      Like

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