Our Healthcare System Is Fine And Dandy

The Dr. will see you now.

You hear a lot of complaints about the state of health care in America.  After a week spent observing it first-hand, I can tell you the system works just fine.

My sister was understandably nervous when she had to go to the hospital recently.  Lib had chosen her employer’s “Premium” insurance plan at a cost of $500 per paycheck   But you don’t know how good your coverage is until you have to use it.   

Meeting her PPO approved physician, “Dr.” Olga (the Hungarian cleaning lady), set her mind at ease.  She stopped by to do a thorough work-up after she finished her floors.  The picture above shows “Dr.” Olga in action, doing a cardiac exam with her Multi-Purpose Dual Polypropylene Listening/Sipping Device.  We were reassured when she said that everything looked “hokay dokay”.   At least that’s what I think she said.  Her accent was pretty heavy.

Vee just put this doohickey in here, hokay dokay?

Not only is “Dr.” Olga a cardiologist, she takes care of the whole body.  Wow, she must have been in medical school forever to achieve that level of skill!  I asked her about her training, but the language thing made it kind of hard to understand her answer.  She said something about “courteous title”, which just goes to show that, besides being brilliant, everyone thinks she is polite. 

Poor Lib had a rotten cold the entire week she was in the hospital.   She went through a lot of Kleenex.  I wish she hadn’t chosen the $5-per-tissue copay option, but hindsight is always 20/20.  Given that the hospital charges $739 per box, I’m sure she will still come out ahead.

In the second picture, “Dr.” Olga is about to insert a PIC line.    She asked me to step out of the room at this point, probably to maintain a “sterile field”.  She had a bottle of Mr. Clean at the ready.   You can tell by the look on Lib’s face that she has absolute trust in “Dr.” Olga and her healthcare PPO.  That’s something money can’t buy. 

It’s a real load off my mind to know that “Dr.” Olga will stay on top of my sister’s care.  She said she’s planning to come by tomorrow for a thorough proctology exam.  Right after she does her toilets.

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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22 Responses to Our Healthcare System Is Fine And Dandy

  1. Tar-Buns says:

    Oh, Peg…LOVED the pictures. Equally laughed at the finance and professionalism referral. What a week it was! Thanks for the smiles and glad you didn’t get stuck in the rain/ice/sleet/thunderstorms we had this afternoon. Geesh – when WILL it end?

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  2. pegoleg says:

    I’m sending all my friends to “Dr.” Olga. I left GR in the middle of heavy snow this morning, came home to Illinois and 78 degrees. God is playing with our minds.

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  3. This post is eerily close to the truth. I think I know that doctor.

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  4. Cheryl says:

    I’m thinking these would make some nice online dating profile pictures for Lib when (and if) she’s ever up for that. I bet the guy who took all his online dating profile pictures in a men’s public restroom (ie… him at the sink… him in front of the stall…him at the towel dispenser) would probably be interested. Although maybe he’s already snagged some hot chick by now with his grammatically challenged, ‘keep it real’, no drama profile. Sigh. All the good ones are taken.

    PS Particularly enjoyed the Mr Clean bottle in the background.

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    • Libertarian says:

      I think after the excellent care “Dr.” Olga gave me, I will be ready to meet a real-life Mr. Clean, Cheryl! 🙂 Thanks for the yucks once again, Peg.

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    • pegoleg says:

      Sounds like you’re meeting some quality individuals online.

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      • Libertarian says:

        More like “Kwal-i-tee”… the knock-off brand of real men.

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        • Cheryl says:

          No Kidding. It’s hard to pick my favorite. The last coffee date (which wasn’t going well for me either) ended with the guy giving me a “5 minute warning” by tapping his watch and saying “5 MIN-utes” as if he was telling his kids it was time to stop watching TV and go to bed.

          Of course the guy who wanted to show me his wife’s cemetery plot on the 1st date was a little goofy too. And then there was the time I accidentally marked some box that I was into erotic art and I got an inquiry after several emails as to what that meant to me. Needless to say once I cleared up THAT misunderstanding I never heard from the guy again. Apparently he was into erotic art. (And why do they have these boxes? I don’t know).

          I actually got off that mainstream dating website because I started getting a lot of predator type emails from foreign speaking super models that declared their love for me in their first email and I was pretty sure the 2nd email would be asking for money or a large flat screen tv.

          Yep.. I think it’s single for me for awhile.. but if Mr Clean has a nice friend, I might be willing to double date with you, Lib.

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  5. joe jackson says:

    Really funny piece, I enjoyed for someone to take an alternative look at the healthcare system in a positive light.

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  6. bigsheepcommunications says:

    Wow, what amazing personal attention. Most doctors leave the heavy lifting (and every other detail) the nurses or the orderlies, but Olga, she’s hands on!

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  7. MKC says:

    Dr. Olga here-I’ll have you know I spent a week learning “strawology” and we used the newest antiseptic on the market! Lib got the finest care her insurance plan covered. Got to get back to my training for the next patient-hard to fit in with my cleaning duties. God bless American healthcare!

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    • pegoleg says:

      Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to stop by, “Dr.” Olga. Seeing you in action with those high-tech medical devices was a real privilege. America is lucky to have you – unofficially, of course, due to that whole “green card” kerfuffle.

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  8. I think that people from other countries find it scary becuase it is expensive, its a bit of a shock to the system here in the UK where we have the NHS. But surely you have insurance to protect you from the cost? Thanks for the lovely comments on my post, Im not content with being tethered… im going to soar!!

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    • pegoleg says:

      Yes, we do have insurance. It is expensive, but it enables us to get good care quickly. Less than a week out of the hospital, my sister was being seen at another top-notch hospital for a second opinion.

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  9. egills says:

    I managed not to splutter coffee all over my keyboard in laughter right up to your last comment there!
    Second opinion.. ha ha ha. 😀
    Not only expensive but from what I hear the doc can be sued many times for malpractice. I know we moan about the state of the NHS but at least we can get seen ( even if we do have to wait ). And we have the option of taking out insurance to up our care to a better sort.

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    • pegoleg says:

      Actually, that was about the only part in this whole post where I WASN’T kidding. The first hospital couldn’t come up with a diagnosis after a week of tests. So we called a larger hospital that is (by reputation) more advanced and made an appointment to have their specialists see my sister the next week.

      Our system is expensive, but if you buy decent insurance, treatment is very quick and generally competent. We Americans are spoiled – we want healthcare to cost less, but we don’t want to give up any of the speed or access we have now.

      As to malpractice, you are so right. Daytime television in America is mainly paid for by commercials from attorneys telling us if something goes wrong, somebody is at fault and should be sued. Politicians always talk about reforming the system, but they are all attorneys themselves, so nothing is ever reformed.

      OK, way too serious for a humor blog. I’m stepping off my soapbox before I get a nosebleed!

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