Ask Miss Peg-o-Leg

littledebbieBigDeborah

Big Deborah courtesy of the interwebz

Have you ever started an advice column without remembering a thing about it?

Apparently I did.  That’s the only way to explain all the requests for advice I’ve gotten lately; requests which, I might add, somehow landed in my spam blocker.  I must have been sleepwalking when I set this up, but I don’t want to disappoint my readers.

Here are just a few of the cries for help that have come to me:

Question: Do you need unique articles for your page ?
From: Buster.ly

Answer: Nope. I’ve given up on “unique” and am shooting for “slap something up there.”
 From: Peg-o-Leg

Question: Hellо there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it’s really informɑtive. I am going to watch out for bгussels.  Will you continue this benefit in fսture?
From: clip2vip2

Answer: You bet your sweet bippy I will continue this benefit, just as long as anyone wants to read it.  I’m not sure if you’re interested in the city of Brussels or the cruciferous vegetables also known as “sprouts.”  But if you hang around here long enough, I can practically guarantee I will be so desperate for material that I’ll cover both topics at some point.
From: Peg-o-Leg

Question:  this weekend is ցood for me, as this moment i am reading thіs impressive informatiѵe piece of writing heгe at my residence. What’s սp?
From: a bunch of Arabic characters. I don’t read Arabic

Answer: Not much.  What’s up with you?
From: Peg-o-Leg

Question:  I have a video post in blogger then how can I put a repost link to that? I have already go to addthis but don’t know how to put the code in its proper place wherein the individual posts are being place with an embed this or repost this or share this. Please help..
From: girlsgonewild

Answer: Sorry, I don’t really know much about the mechanics of blogging.  Check the WordPress Forums and they’re sure to have helpful hints.
From: Peg-o-Leg

Question: A few of my blog readers have complained about my site not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Safari. Do you have any solutions to help fix this issue?
From: Google

Answer: No.
From: Peg-o-Leg

Question: How do I add the Google Analytics code to a Joomla website?
From: buygoldrollovers.com

Answer: How the hell should I know??
From: Peg-o-Leg

Question: Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you so much, However I am having issues with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I am unable to subscribe to it.  Is there anyone else having similar RSS issues?
From: buygenuinekatespadepurse.com

Answer: WTF?!?? What’s with all the technical questions, people?  This is a humor blog – LEAVE ME ALONE!!!  By the way, it’s “dudette.”
From: Peg-o-Leg

Question: What would cause a lingering smell from little debbie snack cakes?
From: viagracialisforu.com

Answer: There are a number of possibilities:

  • Those are not Fudge Swirls – they’re turds.littledebbiefudgeswirls
  • Someone didn’t thoroughly clean their Honey Buns.
  • Zebra Cakes are made from real zebras.
  • The Cheese Danish is made from the funk growing in the folds of belly fat of the people who eat too many Little Debbie snacks.
  • What lingering smell?  The package of Nutty Bars I just finished off smelled fine!

From: Peg-o-Leg

To those who are still anxiously awaiting my advice, rest assured that I will get to your questions shortly.  Just as soon as I can figure out the subscription issues with my RSS.

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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79 Responses to Ask Miss Peg-o-Leg

  1. It seems like we’re all taking on the spammers these days. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad, but it certainly is funny.

    PS: I’m very grateful that I don’t buy Little Debbie cakes.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Shannon says:

    Ha! Send the people with technical questions over here. I’ll give ’em a shovel and wow them with my jargon. In the meantime, perhaps my garden will get planted. A couple of those at the end are too gross to comment on.

    Spammers must be allergic to dirt; it’s rare I get anything that interesting in my comment box, and my searches don’t come up with anything remotely entertaining either. I guess I’ll have to continue blogging about bug poop tea and white rain instead. Hope you’re well, Peg!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. momshieb says:

    Thanks for the inspiration! I’m going to check my spam folder.
    Also my cabinets. I think there might some Little Debbie cakes hiding behind the quinoa.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. susielindau says:

    Ha! Those Little Debbie Cakes are the bomb, gut and stink bomb that is…
    I’m impressed by your selection of spammers, *cough* I mean commenters.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t get the mechanics of blogging. I find it mind-boggling.
    I love your advice about slapping something, anything, up there. After a while, we have to remember done is better than perfect. Do our best and let it go. Thanks for the reminder!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Al says:

    You rock as an advice columnist, Peg. Here’s my question. Is it crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. List of X says:

    If even the spammers can’t figure out the technical details of blogging, what hope is there for the rest of us?

    Liked by 1 person

    • pegoleg says:

      The spammers can’t figure out the language, let alone the technical details.

      I have never understood how these technical question comments benefit the spammers – can someone enlighten me? Is it because I’m supposed to go back to their site armed with helpful info and get stuck in a cyber-ransom scheme?

      Liked by 1 person

  8. M.Winter says:

    I wonder why it’s called spam mail? Do you think it’s got something to do with the SPAM luncheon meat? (Yeah, another question – at least it’s not a technical one!)

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Carrie Rubin says:

    Haha! Your answers to “What would cause a lingering smell from little debbie snack cakes?” had me laughing out loud. And that might have to get the award for best spam question ever. Funny post!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Elyse says:

    Your advice column should be synicated, Peg. Because your tech savvy is impressive, I’m sure.

    (I don’t think I’ve checked my spam folder this year. Wonder if anything in it is written in English. Last I looked all was in Chinese, which I don’t speak but in which I did once publish a professional article.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • pegoleg says:

      I hadn’t checked it either, Elyse. I thought it was all links for designer-rip-off bags and that the days of the funny mis-translation were gone, but au contraire! (that’s foreign talk for “hell no.”)

      Liked by 2 people

  11. Hilarious – (that RSS comment dude sure gets around) No one warned you had to be multilingual to have a blog! HA HA
    My mother loved to send Little Debbie treats in what really were “I don’t care, but will make a show of it” packages to college. Found out no need to trash them…college guys will ear anything)
    Thanks for the smiles today!

    Like

  12. Language101 says:

    It’s so funny. What is this blog about?

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Hahaha. Totally know what you mean. Interestingly my spam had died down significantly of late. Either WP is better at stopping it or Niker and cheap Ugg got the message I don’t need new shoes! Thanks for the giggle Peg!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. A “lingering” smell insinuates they’ve been lying around for a while. In what galaxy do Little Debbie snack cakes last long enough to acquire a smell? Not in my household, sister.

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Dana says:

    Zebra cakes are made of real zebras! Soilent Green is people! The protein bars are ground up bugs and vermin!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Dana says:

    If you ever really do and advice post, I’ve got some questions for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Go Jules Go says:

    Dudette, I’m sorry about all of the technical questions, but can you please tell me how you made those Greek symbols?

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Terrific post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more. Many thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Wow, that’s what I was seeking for, what a stuff! existing here at this blog, thanks admin of this website.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. TamrahJo says:

    My favorite is, “Quick – Buy NOW! Before the domain name you didn’t even want to purchase gets sold to someone else, cuz we’re sure you want it, even though we don’t know how to spell/type/read…..” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This gave me a good chuckle this morning 🙂 I haven’t looked in my spam folder for a while. I’m going to look right now and find something hilarious…

    The first spammer just wanted to stop by to insult me! All it says is this:
    “I used to be able to find good information from your blog articles.”

    Hmph!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. k8edid says:

    Peg, your advice is spot on. Speaking of spots…do you know how to get highlighter stains out of my fake designer purse? I get more questions about my banana bread recipe than anything else. Imagine if it was a food blog.

    You don’t suppose that smell from the Little Debbies is, well….Debbie? Your knowledge of snack foods is impressive. Can’t pass by a peanut butter cup without thinking about you! Thanks for the smile this morning, lovey.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. Sandy Sue says:

    I’m so impressed that you actually read those things. But, then, there might be someone desperately in need of your brussels advice.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. lexiemom says:

    Little Debbie…mmmmm…

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Blogdramedy says:

    I must be doing this blogging thing all wrong. All I get in my spam folder are suggestions about upping my SEO optimization and questions about naked gerbils. *perplexed face*

    Liked by 1 person

  26. When I don’t get many legit comments on a blog post, the spam folder always holds a little ray of hope for me. Thinking one of my readers’ comments slipped in by mistake, I peruse looking for the spark that will set off a deluge of comments as soon as I approve it and it is visible to all the people who needed a little nudge. I’ve been disappointed so many times, but you’ve given me new appreciation for the valuable questions and comments that do appear from such writes as ‘porn’ and ‘shit*. Thanks for adding value!

    Liked by 1 person

    • pegoleg says:

      I forget about the spam folder for months, but had the same thought the other day – what if a legit comment was trapped there? Nothing worth saving, but some were awfully funny.

      Like

  27. Did the porn sites miss you? They ask very cool questions, always addressing you as ‘Dude’.

    Like

  28. lbeth1950 says:

    I get hear all the time!

    Like

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