Three months into Chicago’s total ban on plastic bags, pundits are examining its effects.
Having successfully addressed such petty issues as sky-high crime rates, sinking school test scores and potholes big enough to park a Buick in, city fathers turned their attention to the more pressing need for legislation vis-à-vis plastic bags. Read the back-story here: Chicago Plastic Bag Ban Has Enough Support To Become Law, Sponsor Claims
Supporters say they are pleased with results so far, but the law doesn’t go far enough. As this secret footage shows, environment-hating shoppers still abound:
The Chicago city council will meet in emergency session tonight to discuss ways to put teeth into the law. Tough, new penalties are expected to be put into place. Suggestions to be considered include reintroducing the practice of displaying scofflaws in stocks on the village green (Daley Plaza.) Law-abiding citizens would be encouraged to spit on or pelt offenders with (heirloom organic) tomatoes.
Next on the city council’s agenda: legislation to address the unexplained explosion in the amount of doggy doo-doo on city sidewalks. As summer temperatures climb, the steaming piles are fomenting a Canine Crap Crisis.