Bag Ban Scofflaws May Soon Be Saying “Sack It To Me”

Dateline: Chicago

June 2014

Three months into Chicago’s total ban on plastic bags, pundits are examining its effects.

Having successfully addressed such petty issues as sky-high crime rates, sinking school test scores and potholes big enough to park a Buick in, city fathers turned their attention to the more pressing need for legislation vis-à-vis plastic bags. Read the back-story  here:  Chicago Plastic Bag Ban Has Enough Support To Become Law, Sponsor Claims

Supporters say they are pleased with results so far, but the law doesn’t go far enough.   As this secret footage shows, environment-hating shoppers still abound:

The Chicago city council will meet in emergency session tonight to discuss ways to put teeth into the law.  Tough, new penalties are expected to be put into place.  Suggestions to be considered include reintroducing the practice of displaying scofflaws in stocks on the village green (Daley Plaza.)  Law-abiding citizens would be encouraged to spit on or pelt offenders with (heirloom organic) tomatoes.

Next on the city council’s agenda: legislation to address the unexplained explosion in the amount of doggy doo-doo on city sidewalks.  As summer temperatures climb, the steaming piles are fomenting a Canine Crap Crisis.


About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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39 Responses to Bag Ban Scofflaws May Soon Be Saying “Sack It To Me”

  1. Hmmm…sounds a lot like something that Toronto did last year. Everyone used the plastic bags they bought in the stores and used them instead. Then the city allowed plastic bags but put a 5 cent price-tag on them, but never figured out how to collect the money. Eventually they just gave up and let everyone do what they wanted….except the stores kept charging the nickel just out of spite. Go Rob Ford!!


  2. Tori says:

    Relief! So glad there are laws in place to take care of important issues. I’m pushing for a bill to ban vegetables on account of their being “icky”.


  3. Carrie Rubin says:

    I didn’t realize Chicago had put that ban in place. I loved the video clip. I think I’ll try the carry-out-with-no-bag technique the next time I go to Target. Might keeping from over-buying which is what I always do in that store. I think they put something in the air there.


  4. Ha,ha! Great post and video. Loved it when the music came on as the cashier was thinking. Well, we just went through a styrofoam ban here in little ‘ol Amherst, MA and I don’t believe anyone has been pelted with tomatoes yet, but I could be wrong. I did hear that the Biebs was going to design and market styrofoam cups for his fans because he apparently likes to doodle on styrofoam cups often. He better not show up in Amherst!

    I am a chronic forgetter of bags. I would not survive in Chicago!


  5. Public stocks return! Great idea – and it will give the little hooligans an “approved” target. Several problems solved at once: ridicule to force compliance of bag people, jobs to build stocks, directed bullying, cheap entertainment, and media news stories…maybe even a reality show. WInner!


  6. Roxie says:

    Solve the problem, just eat at the store!


  7. Al says:

    How about we find all the illegal plastic bags in Chicago and put all the untended dog poop in them and drop them at city hall to show our support?


  8. lisaspiral says:

    I’m loving the comments as much as the post. I have tons of reusable bags. They live in my house and never seem to want to come to the grocery store with me.


  9. I admit to bringing re-usable bags to my grocery store. They’re beefier than the plastic, paper or even the paper-inside-plastic combo bag. It always get cracks me up when the checkers want to put the chicken, which is in a shrink wrapped tray, and then in a plastic bag I put it in, into ANOTHER plastic bag before putting it into my re-usable shopping bag. I usually tell them “No thanks, if the two layers of plastic surrounding it isn’t going to do the job, then I doubt a third one will matter” They stare at me with obvious contempt.


  10. Barb says:

    Okay, okay, It’s not quite that bad here in Portland, but yes, many many folks bring a cloth or reinforced bag for their groceries. If you forget your bag, you can have a paper sack. The county where Portland is located has banned plastic grocery bags, though you can still stick meat and produce in plastic and haul it out of the store.
    However….I LOVE plastic bags. Yes, I understand how bad, bad, bad they are for environment, recycle, road debris, etc. but I love ’em like I love my Saran Wrap. I use them for everything: garbage liners, to carry wet gym towels , floor mats, for muddy soccer shoes. I’ve even worn them over my feet in the backcounty when all my socks got wet.. I know…I’m bad. I should break the habit., but like lisapral, those darn re-usable bags never remember to haul themselves into the store. I love plastic grocery sacks. I guess I should join a break-the-habit group. (That would be so Portlandish).


    • pegoleg says:

      Haha! I also I reuse them all the time. That’s what I schlepp my lunch, my papers, etc back and forth to my office with. Most go to the Goodwill to reused, but the rest go to a pickup point at the grocery store to be remade into decking material, etc. I think it’s an OK setup.


  11. It’s not fair! I couldn’t watch the video, it says it can only be streamed from within the United States. I feel excluded from your post now. Like I’m outside the house just watching the party going on inside through the window but I’m not allowed it. IT’S NOT FAIR!!!


  12. I worked as head of the IT Help Desk for the local county for six horrendously long months before I managed to get out. Between the Police old-boy network and the Board of Supervisors demanding special treatment it was a complete nightmare. Local governments can be the worst and normally are. All hail plastic bags!


  13. I wish I could see the video. It says you can only see it in the US. I will have to find out how “Mid Life Crisis” saw it as she seems to be in Toronto.


  14. Elyse says:

    It IS a great clip. But those plastic bags DO drive me crazy. Sometimes. I see them floating by my 14th floor window and have seen hawks go after them as if they were prey. It really isn’t their existence that is so bad but the fact that so many people are irresponsible with them.

    We need an education campaign, not police involvement.

    But I’m off to the grocery story — with my reusable bags in hand!

    I know. I can’t help it. I’m a liberal!


  15. Seattle did that sometime ago I think, it works pretty well for them but you know Seattle is full of tree huggers. I have used my own bags for a long time now, I actually find it quite handy. Loved the clip.


  16. Blogdramedy says:

    High prices for lousy produce is the reason why I use plastic bags. I save my good cloth bag for carrying home quality vodka. Plus I reuse all the plastic bags…sometimes twice. So, really, I’m saving the environment like at LEAST three times per bag. I should get an award or something.


  17. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Ban the damn bags. There isn’t a thing they do for us that something more reusable could do. They’re an environmental disaster. You see, you have to ban things and pass laws because there’s always a large group of people who will never inconvenience themselves to find an alternative. Yeah, call me a liberal nanny. I don’t care.


  18. amelie88 says:

    I feel like my own town was tossing around the idea of banning plastic bags. I’m not sure if it entirely has but when I think about it, I can’t remember recently buying anything and walking away with a plastic bag. Our CVS has switched over to brown paper bags as well.

    When I was living in Spain, they used to charge a few cents per plastic bag that you bagged your groceries in so I soon just ended up placing all my groceries directly in those wheelie mini shopping carts. They’re not as common here in the States but they do exist. I bought this cute one for my mom’s birthday at the Container store (she works in Boston during the week and doesn’t have a car): (the one with polka dots)


  19. TamrahJo says:

    one of the locally owned yarn shops I frequent gives you a sturdy bag and helps you to remember to bring it by giving you 5% off whatever you buy that fits into the bag – – 🙂 Unfortunately, they don’t sell ponies or cabana boys nor are the bags big enough to hold one of each – – 🙂


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