Hershey, I’ve got a bone to pick with you. A beef. An axe to grind. Now is the winter of my discontent made…well, you get the point.
Some months ago, 18 of the sharpest tools in the WordPress shed teamed up with me to stage a coup. Our goal? Nothing less than the total takeover of WordPress. Our ammo? Intriguing, simultaneous postings on the same, vital topic: Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
If you missed it, be sure to check out the Reese’s Pieces, the brilliant bloggers who joined in the coup. (They’re listed at the end of the post I linked to above.) Just about half of them are on the WordPress list of recommended humor bloggers and the other half should be.
The coup WAS epic, but I’m not going to lie; things didn’t go quite as I had planned. For one thing, we didn’t take over the WordPress Freshly Pressed front page. Sure, I was sore about that but I can’t stay mad at Matt Mullenweg for long. Me and Matt are like this (picture two fingers, closely entwined…and by “closely” I mean about as far apart as you can stretch your arms.)
No, the thing that really chaps my hiney is that we didn’t hear from Hershey. I emailed them about it, figuring they’d want to get their best PR people on the story. I envisioned them flying all 19 of us to the Big Apple to shoot a commercial about the blogs. I would finally get to meet many of my bloggy buddies in the flesh – how great would that be?
“Well,” you ask, “Did it happen?”
Have you seen my yellow-headed, red-shoed, smiling self selling candy on TV lately?
It did not happen. I didn’t hear from Hershey. Not a word. They didn’t send flowers, a thank you note, not so much as a lousy, 50-cents-off coupon arrived in my mailbox.
The injustice of it all has been like a festering boil on the butt of my blog for months. Why am I am bringing it up now? My boil of discontent has just been pricked and the lance was wielded by the Trojan Company.
My friend Misty over at Misty’s Laws recently gave away some great swag on her blog. (You should totally check her out.) One item was a Trojan vibrator that she got at a convention. She mentioned it in a blog post, kinda casual-like. A representative of the Trojan Corp sees the post, contacts her and next thing you know it’s raining free dildos all up in her place!
Apparently SOME corporations know how to show a lady blogger a good time.
Trojan is making Hershey look like a bunch of stiffs.
I’ll be honest with you; I am seriously rethinking Hershey’s position at the top of the supply chain for my chocolate-coated peanut butter snacking needs. And while it is true that I have a bag of pumpkin-shaped Reese’s peanut butter cups currently in my possession (the Halloween multi-brand packs are already out – sweet!), I want you to know I am only eating them grudgingly.