It was a long, hard-fought contest, but a clear winner has emerged in the competition to sell this whatchamacallit. Announcing, the first-ever winner of the (soon-to-be) coveted Peg-o-Clio Award for excellence in advertising a made up product….drum roll please… Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson @ Teachers & Twits
The field was broad, the talent, immense. Here is her winning entry:
Oh no! Your car broke down on the corner of Not Lookin’ So Safe Street. And you forgot your cell phone! What’s a girl to do? Put on your CrazyTownGloBoots. Just flip the tiny unobtrusive switch to activate the whirling lights. Put the headphones over your ears, and you’ll be gently instructed on how to get out of that mess! Learn handy phrases to repeat:
What the hell is wrong with eating toothpaste ?
Why do I smell like urine?
When will my spaceship come?
Are you my donkey?
You’ll also be instructed on how to act insane.
Itch your armpits excessively.
Scratch your hair.
Stop walking and turn around sharply to see people and things that aren’t there.
Swear and mumble.
Combine these actions with the dialogue and you’ve got it. Because everyone knows: No one will bother you if you are acting all crazy. But they’ll really stay away if you are acting all crazy in your CrazyTownGloBoots (Patent pending. Do not wear in water.)
When this ad campaign hits the airwaves, I’m sure people will be lined up around the block to buy this product. How are production plans going, Renée?
This remarkable trophy was crafted specifically for this competition. A world-famous artist (could be Rodin, but I can’t tell) hand-cast it in bronze using the Lost Ear Wax method, then finished it in incredible detail using costly enamels. My golden hair is real, 24K gold!
Oh, I wish you could see it, Renée – it’s just so beautiful! Due to budgetary constraints (I have yet to see dime-one of the advertising revenue WordPress promised me if I posted that little commercial at the bottom, right under here. Not that I’m complaining), I am unable to ship the original to you. Instead, I am sending this genuine, custom crafted JPEG of the genuine, custom-crafted trophy, suitable for posting.
Be sure to visit Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson @ Teachers & Twits where I’m sure Renée will display her (simulated) trophy proudly!
Thanks to all who played.