We Have A Winner!

It was a long, hard-fought contest, but a clear winner has emerged in the competition to sell this whatchamacallit.  Announcing, the first-ever winner of the (soon-to-be) coveted Peg-o-Clio Award for excellence in advertising a made up product….drum roll please…  Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson @ Teachers & Twits


The field was broad, the talent, immense.  Here is her winning entry:

Oh no! Your car broke down on the corner of Not Lookin’ So Safe Street. And you forgot your cell phone! What’s a girl to do? Put on your CrazyTownGloBoots. Just flip the tiny unobtrusive switch to activate the whirling lights. Put the headphones over your ears, and you’ll be gently instructed on how to get out of that mess! Learn handy phrases to repeat:

What the hell is wrong with eating toothpaste ?
Why do I smell like urine?
When will my spaceship come?
Are you my donkey?

You’ll also be instructed on how to act insane.

Hit yourself.
Itch your armpits excessively.
Scratch your hair.
Stop walking and turn around sharply to see people and things that aren’t there.
Swear and mumble.

Combine these actions with the dialogue and you’ve got it. Because everyone knows: No one will bother you if you are acting all crazy. But they’ll really stay away if you are acting all crazy in your CrazyTownGloBoots (Patent pending. Do not wear in water.)

When this ad campaign hits the airwaves, I’m sure people will be lined up around the block to buy this product.  How are production plans going, Renée?

What you may ask, did she win?  Nothing less than the coveted Peg-o-Clio Award of Distinguished Honorariness!

This remarkable trophy was crafted specifically for this competition.  A world-famous artist (could be Rodin, but I can’t tell) hand-cast it in bronze using the Lost Ear Wax method, then finished it in incredible detail using costly enamels.  My golden hair is real, 24K gold!

Oh, I wish you could see it, Renée – it’s just so beautiful!  Due to budgetary constraints (I have yet to see dime-one of the advertising revenue WordPress promised me if I posted that little commercial at the bottom, right under here.  Not that I’m complaining), I am unable to ship the original to you.  Instead, I am sending this genuine, custom crafted JPEG of the genuine, custom-crafted trophy, suitable for posting.

Be sure to visit Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson @ Teachers & Twits where I’m sure Renée will display her (simulated) trophy proudly!

Thanks to all who played.

About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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50 Responses to We Have A Winner!

  1. I’m so excited! Can’t wait for my JPEG! And can I beg your readers to come over and leave a question for TechSupport? It’s his birthday in a few days, and I’d LOVE for everyone to leave him a question! That would be awesome sauce. All bloggers shall receive linky-love!


  2. Running from Hell with El says:

    A well-deserved victory!! A perfect 10 on the submission, for sure! And man, that sure is one gorgeous JPEG!!


  3. Go Jules Go says:

    I bet that JPEG is bigger and better than all the other JPEG trophies on all the other blogs if all the other blogs were as talented as Rodin, I mean, Peg.

    Congrats, Renee! I’d better see this on your blog (I’m a comin’ for you!)! This was hysterical, Peggles!


    • pegoleg says:

      I just wish I could send her the original, but solid gold (did I mention that? with bronze overlayment) is really, REALLY heavy. The UPS bill would have bankrupted me.


  4. Congrats, Ms. Renee’! I enjoyed having a small part in Pegomylego’s contest!
    This is definitely resume fodder.
    Proudly display your hard-won trophy … on your desktop, maybe? Enjoy 🙂


    • pegoleg says:

      Well, it’s just a picture so I doubt it would stand up on her desk. Oh, you mean desktop as in computer screen? That kind of desktop as opposed to the top of her desk?

      OK, good idea, there.


  5. mj monaghan says:

    What a *lovely* trophy Meg-O-Leg! 🙂

    Renee, congrats on winning the award. It really was a fetching, and truly deserving winner.

    I’m officially not entering any more contests. You heard it hear first.


  6. That is one awesome trophy! Congratulations, Renee!


  7. k8edid says:

    I wanted that JPEG so badly…I am sobbing…oh, my stitches….oh….oh….oh….

    (Sniff.) Sure. Run a contest when a sistah is laid up in the hospital gasping for breath and demeaning herself by walking the halls in one of those gowns. (sniff)

    Congratulations, Renee. I mean that. Really. (sniff)


  8. Nicely done, Renee! Such creativity–both the the selection of the photograph and the advertising slogan. Madmen, watch out!


  9. Congrats, Renee! Well deserved!

    You won a contest! Again!

    Do you ever lose anything? Huh?

    Enjoy your award! Truly!

    I’m not bitter. Or tired of losing. Everything.

    I am such a loser.

    Why? Why, dear lord, why?!


    • pegoleg says:

      Loser, party of 2. I’m staying home, licking my wounds from getting trounced over on YOUR contest. To think that babysitting could top poop, well, I guess I don’t know great literature as well as I thought I did.

      I guess “those who can, do and those who can’t, have contests.”


      • k8edid says:

        So, I lost Peg’s and Darla’s contest…and I haven’t the strength to go check any others. I thought swinging from the monkey bars sans panties would have garnered a few more (pervert) votes. Oh, the shame and degradation I have known this week alone…


        • pegoleg says:

          So I just found out I’m a 2-time loser – Darla’s contest & not even making the cut in YOUR contest, so yeah, I’m really, really feeling sorry for you here. At least you’ve got quality drugs as a consolation.


          • k8edid says:

            Hey, they’re generics so the “trip” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. And I’ve slept 95 of the last 96 hours and I’m still exhausted.

            Thanks for the funny card, by the way. I enjoyed it – right up until I started laughing and popping my sutures. It was a real scream…


  10. I’m with you Peg. For the record, I thought your lust entry was the best one, and now I can’t even vote for it! My lust entry was my personal favorite of the ones I’ve written and it didn’t even get mentioned as being close to the finalists. Missing out on the embarrassment finals was more embarrassing than my story itself. Oh well. Thanks for hosting the Clio’s


    • pegoleg says:

      Thanks, Dave. That’s some consolation. I thought your Lust entry was great! I gotta think that Katy was in a drug induced stupor when she counted up those votes – how else to explain why we didn’t make the finals?


      • It’s easy for me, I’m assuming that my lack of votes was backlash because of my previous success. You post probably suffered from people wanting to leave the responsibility to others instead of voting with their hearts….either that, or there were some hurt feelings left over from the naming the doo-hickey contest.


  11. pattisj says:

    Congrats! I KNOW she is sad to not have THAT award sitting around…


  12. Barb says:

    Congratulations, Renee. Me and the gals will be over to steal the clio, so keep it where we can find it. Don’t put it in the fridge, unless you want us to take the beer, too.


  13. Angie Z. says:

    Congrats, Renee!


  14. Sandy Sue says:

    It’s always a tooth-sucker for me when people who aren’t crazy write about people who are.


  15. Pingback: On Winning & Birthday Questions « Teachers & Twits

  16. mistyslaws says:

    Oh man! You mean I lost? But but but . . . I fought so hard! Oh wait, that’s not true. I wrote up my entry, got picked and then promptly ran off for a week of family vacationing and then another trip to NYC. But still! The inhumanity of it all!! Man.

    Congrats Renee! Your entry was truly stellar. I will need to be getting one of those things for myself. Any day now someone is going to want to beat me up for taking their picture. This would come in handy. You don’t beat up on crazy people, now do you? 😉


    • pegoleg says:

      It’s all about rockin’ the vote, as either of the contestants in November’s Sell Myself To the Country advertising campaign can tell you. At least you’ll have your vaca and Blogher memories to console you.


  17. Dana says:

    Yay! Congratulations to Renee for finding a way to make insanity that much more palatable (and profitable!) The award JPEG is truly stunning, Peg.


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