Experts are concerned by the alarming spread of Notmyproblemitis or NMP. This malady results in the infected person losing all feeling…for their fellow man. Science does not know the exact cause, but the infection short-circuits a person’s ability to share in the concerns and cares of others.
How do you know if have encountered someone with NMP? A sufferer gives off plenty of clues for the astute observer.
What they say:
- That’s not my problem.
- What’s in it for me?
- That’s not my job.
- This is my problem, why?
- I’m on my lunch break.
- It’s not in my contract.
What they do:
- Move slower than the glaciers that carved out the Great Lakes, especially when you are in a big hurry.
- Insist on crossing every “T” and dotting every “I”, despite those letters’ irrelevance to the task at hand.
- Concentrate on their personal agendas despite your pressing need.
How they look:
- Expression of caring concern like that shown by your average zombie.
- Brief stretching of the lips in a pitiful travesty of a real smile.
- Outright annoyance.
The tendency of this disease to manifest heavily in the customer service industries lends credence to the theory that NMP is occupationally contagious.
Treatment for NMP varies. Some have reported success with:
- Tattooing The Golden Rule on their arm.
- Listening to “Bridge over Troubled Waters” on a continuous loop.
- Having the infected hike 1,760 yards after trading footwear.
In extreme cases an empathyctomy may be required.
Our best defense is a good offense, and that means immunization. If we all take our daily dose of RAK (Random Acts of Kindness), together we can stamp out Notmyproblemitis in our lifetime.