If You’re Staring At Your Lap While Dining With Me, You Best Be Playing With Yourself

Degas understood how a person might feel. Absinthe, anyone?

Repeat after me: “My phone is not invited to all of life’s parties.”

I know you’ve heard this before, but I’ve got to, GOT to share.

  • WATCHING a movie, sitting near me: tippity, tappity, snort and giggle! all through the feature.
  • DRIVING in the lane next to me: tippity, tappity, LOL, swerve into my lane.
  • EATING across the table from me: tippity, tappity, slightly unfocused glance back up at me every few minutes to give the illusion you’re listening to what I’m saying.

Here’s a news flash – you are NOT giving that illusion.  Nobody believes you are listening. Especially when it penetrates your phone-daze that I’m waiting for you to reply, and it’s obvious that you have absolutely no idea what I just said. 

You take a chance and go with a vague smile and little laugh.   Eventually you’ll realize I just told you I had been bitten by a rabid tsetse fly and would be dead in 2 days.  Will it occur to you that laughing may not have been the best response to my statement that this was our farewell dinner?  That I’ll be foaming at the mouth by morning and gone the next day?  You probably won’t even notice, unless Ashton Kutcher tweets from my funeral.

How do you think people feel when they realize you’re more concerned with whatever the little men inside your magic box have to say, than what THEY are sharing in real-time and real-life?

To protect the guilty I’m not naming names, but for the love of Pete (and Peg), please…

just STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE

just PUT…THE PHONE… BACK

That way, nobody gets hurt.

Not you, when I hit you upside the head.

Not me, when I think I’m not important to you.

 

Disclaimer: this rant is NOT aimed at my hubby.

Exclaimer: if you think this rant COULD be aimed at you, it probably is! Even if I don’t know you.

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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73 Responses to If You’re Staring At Your Lap While Dining With Me, You Best Be Playing With Yourself

  1. Thank you. Sticking this in hubby’s briefcase and making extra copies. You know, for distribution when necessary. 😉

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  2. gojulesgo says:

    Amen, Peg!! I “love” when Peppermeister says we can only watch certain things on the DVR, but then just plays with his phone while we’re supposed to be watching! And then he gets mad at ME when I say, “Screw this. I’m turning on 19 Kids and Counting!”

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Holla! I’ve been there, done that. It’s why I won’t get a smart phone – I know I would be way to undisciplined to stay off the thing for more than a few minutes at a time. That’s why we don’t have the interwebz at home. That, and because I’m a caveman.

      Like

  3. grand-player says:

    I couldn’t beat um so regretfully, I joined um. tippity, tappity

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  4. Will Bailey says:

    We need a good old fashioned Brothers Grimm cautionary tale for public cell phone fixation.

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    • pegoleg says:

      My next project is going to be a book of children’s stories updated for modern times. Yup. Got it right in the hopper, ready to go. Someday.

      Like

      • Will Bailey says:

        Chapter 1: The Girl and the Screens
        Chapter 2: The Boy and the Screens
        Chapter 3: The Girl and Boy and Wolf and the Screens

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  5. winsomebella says:

    Over the weekend a driver on his cell swerved off the road and killed two pedestrians here in the Denver area 😦

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  6. (Squinting at computer screen, entralled with your post) Uh huh…(tippity) Oh, Peg this post is hilarious with the–oh, hold on a sec…(tappity) And the part about the–(puts finger up to pause and giggle while looking down in lap again) yeah, the part about the–(furiously tippitying and tappitying) with the thing about the Ashton Kutcher tweet thing and the–(tippity, tappity, more giggling) I’m sorry, what were you saying again?

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  7. Can you confirm the spelling of “tsetse?” I want to text that line to a friend of mine… thx! TTYL!

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  8. Elyse says:

    Can you hear the standing ovation I started? No? Just a minute.

    “Hey everybody, stand up, put down your phones and CLAP!”

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  9. Laura says:

    Great post, but the title has sparked an internal debate about which activity is worse. I think I’d rather have the random stranger sitting next to me in the dark in the movie theater playing with his phone than playing with himself.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Oh, er…yeah. I’d have to go along with you there. For sure.

      (I first read your comment as that it had sparked an “internet debate” and I’m all, like “Great! Bring it!” But an “internal debate” is almost as good, so…great!)

      Like

  10. I don’t think of this as a rant; I think of this as a perfectly legitimate request for civility in a society that has slipped into some kind of lapse of common courtesy. Bravo to you! (But I’m kind of old, too, so consider the source of your support on this one… ) 😐

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  11. judithhb says:

    I had such a rant at my grandson last week. I picked him up from school and after a cursory Hello Ganma he started to text. I pointed out that he made me feel like the driver and if that was how he saw me I wouldn’t bother to make the one hour trip to pick him up. i just don’t know what the obsession with texts is. I do send text messages occasionally but never when I am with somebody else, unless there is an emergency.

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  12. Tori Nelson says:

    I would totally jump on board the rant train. I pride myself on being pretty calm and collected… once in a while. The other day I smacked a brand new iPhonePad thingy from my sister’s hands. The other day was not one of the once’s in once in a while.

    Like

  13. Dana says:

    Sing it, Peg! Reason #8678 why I don’t own a smart phone. (That and because I’m too cheap/inexperienced with new technology to figure one out.)

    I’m happy that you were fake bitten by a tsetse fly and not by a “TESTES” fly like I first read. I was thinking to myself, “Illinois has TESTES flies?! Note to self: NEVER GO THERE!” But if it’s only tsetse flies, I’m game. 🙂

    Like

  14. You are fabulous so I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award!
    Come on over to pick it up!

    http://superurbangeek.wordpress.com

    Keep up the good work!
    Congrats!

    Urban Geek

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Well thank you so much! I am way, way too lazy to ever do the follow-up work involved in awards (although I would probably make an exception if there was a huge, cash bonus included), but I really appreciate the shout out.

      Like

  15. So daughter’s boss gave her tickets to a concert. That was nice. Daddy happened to text her while she was leaving the concert. Daughter texts him back, doesn’t notice STAIRS in front of her. Falls down a flight of stairs, breaks foot one week before her new insurance kicks in. NOT funny. You already know I hate, despise, deplore Technoville except those musical notes are kinda cute.

    Like

    • bigsheepcommunications says:

      Ouch! Makes me think of that video from last year of the woman who fell right into a fountain at the mall because she was walking and texting.

      Like

      • pegoleg says:

        Yeah, and wasn’t she going to sue the mall or the camera person or some other random stranger besides herself for being such a twit? I love society…I really do.

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    • pegoleg says:

      Not funny. I KNOW it’s not funny. And I’m not laughing, really. Not much. Although the term “poetic justice” keeps popping to mind.

      Dang you for bringing up those notes AGAIN. I can’t do it on my computer. What do you mean hit the 13 or 14 key? C’mon, you’re just playin with my poor, old brain.

      Like

      • Oh no…not the 13, 14 key…they don’t exist…try holding ALT with your left fingers, then with your right fingers strike 1+3 on the number pad, (not the numbers above the alpha). And don’t press +, first “1” then “3”, the same with “1” then “4”…voilá. Please let me know you’ve got it. Now if you’re working on a laptop, I’m not successful anymore. Once I had a laptop that had the num pad numbers, but not any more.

        Like

  16. Sandy Sue says:

    My head is in a spin—phone texting moth ball flies? The hilarity never stops at Peg-O’s House of Rant!

    Like

  17. Lenore Diane says:

    Do not get me started … do not let out that beast.
    Cannot stand the fidgeting between verbal and virtual conversations. Unless, it is me trying to leave a comment, while the hubs is asking me a question.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      It has been suggested that this bugs me so, SO much because my aging, sausage-like fingers are not adept on the tiny keys. But that has nothing to do with it.

      Like

  18. Preach it Peg! I couldn’t agree with you more. This kind of behavior is not only selfish, ridiculous, and very rude, it’s also mindlessly dangerous when it involves roads and vehicles, and people’s lives are being endangered by self absorbed idiots oblivious to the fact that yes, your electronic hypnotic stupidity can be fatal!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      You are so right, Chris. Behind the wheel of a car it’s not funny at all. When I’m driving down the road and I see someone on their mini-computer I want to ram them off the road. I think a jury would understand, don’t you?

      Like

  19. Louella says:

    We have a rule hear at table time (ANY TIME we arer eating meals)

    No. Tecknology. AT. ALL. EVER.

    Like

  20. Louella says:

    *here *bangs head on desk*

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  21. Louella says:

    and… Minus the r at the end of are.. *bangs repeatedly*

    Like

  22. Louella says:

    oh. my goodness.. *blank stare*

    Like

  23. Barb says:

    It’s amazing how the phone has intruded into everything: bathroom stalls, restaurants, and those folks wearing Jawbones, traipsing down grocery aisles who look like they’re talking to the canned corn, just make me nuts. Some guy hauled his mom (via phone) to Subway and as they made her sandwich, he checked with her on every stupid vegetable, and type of chips. HINT: Write it down, next time you’ll know what she wants.. Okay. Thanks. I’ve got that out of my system so I don’t have to blog about it. I can just rant about it over here at your place.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Betcha Mr. Can’t-Make-A-Decision-On-The-Chips still lives in her basement. Just sayin’.

      By Jawbones do you mean blue tooth headsets? Cuz those have helped me out in the past. I did a post about that in the right hand column under my favorite,s “Using Technology To Avoid Commitment”.

      Like

      • BillThePraiseAndWorshipGuy says:

        You know those homeless folks who seem to be talking to themselves as they wander through town? I bet they really are people who own bluetooth headsets.. (I’m sure the government subsidized said headsets…) Those things are far safer than texting. Used to use one when I would travel far distances for ministry, really helped me to keep my eyes on the road.

        Like

        • pegoleg says:

          That’s what I thought the first time I encountered somebody with a BlueTooth. You’re so right, though, I use mine almost all the time when driving.

          Like

  24. Angie Z. says:

    Let me guess, are the girls home from college? Thought so. I don’t even know how to send a text message on my phone so that clears me of any feelings of guilt as I read this.

    Like

  25. This reminds me of when someone makes a completely inappropriate comment on one’s blog. Great post and it needs to be said a lot more often otherwise our species may mutate into hunched over, voiceless creatures who can only communicate with their thumbs.

    Like

  26. Pingback: “My phone is not invited to all of life’s parties.” « Dolce Vita

  27. marieltan says:

    So true! I can totally relate!

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  28. Al says:

    Great post, Peg and I couldn’t agree more. I especially…er….agree….uh…with…excuse me,.. I thinks that’s my cell ringing……gotta take this……..

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      That happened in the church last week. The poor little old lady couldn’t figure out how to get it out of her purse and turn the damn thing off! At least most kids are so adept and sneaky with them, only the tippity tappity gives them away.

      Like

  29. Pingback: C…. is for Creative… | I know my ABC's, and I can prove it!!

  30. pattisj says:

    Timely, my dear Peg. Very timely. What if you texted the person and said, “Stop it!” 🙂

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  31. Pingback: C is for…. ‘Creative’… | Louella's Space….

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