Biggest Loser: Family Edition. Who Stole The Kishka?

Warning!!!  The following may not be suitable for more sensitive readers.

After a long, hard summer of the family weight-loss challenge, the pounds are really coming off.  “That’s great!” you say.  “Whoo hoo!” you enthuse.   “You must be thrilled.” you gush.  I am.  But…

I may have mentioned before that I’m a bit of a pessimist.   Here’s the proof.  I’ve dropped a whole bunch of lbs.   I’m working out.  I’m eating right.   My heart and lungs are great and I should be doing the happy dance all the way to healthy town.  Yet here I am, asking a question first made famous by polka king Frankie Yankovic:

Who Stole the Kishka?  

For those not familiar with polkas or Polish food, a kishka is a type of sausage.  One line of this song in particular keeps repeating, over and over in my brain.  (Don’t ask me WHY I remember the words to this song, which I haven’t heard since high school):

Round and firm and fully packed,
It was hanging on the rack.
Someone stole the kishka,
When I turned my back.

While I’ve been busy dieting, my nice, firm chubbiness has been emptying out.  Someone stole my kishka.

Think of… balloons 3 hours after the last kid has left the birthday party…shot elastic in an old pair of underwear…

The sad fact of weight loss past a certain age is that the body just doesn’t snap back the way it once did.   The fat cells may cough up their contents, but they don’t leave.  They never leave.  They wait around, limply, counting the days until you take one teeny, tiny baby step off the straight and narrow diet path.  Then ZAP!!!  They fill themselves back up almost overnight.

It is ridiculous to think like this – you’re right.   I’m not doing it any more.  From now on, I’m going to concentrate on my newfound healthiness, and enjoy life.  Time to do more traveling.  I’ve always wanted to see South America.  And I hear they’ve perfected a procedure down there called the Brazilian Butt Lift…

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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42 Responses to Biggest Loser: Family Edition. Who Stole The Kishka?

  1. bigsheepcommunications says:

    Hey now – be proud of your skinny droopy butt!!

    Like

  2. Jackie says:

    yay for “nice firm chubbiness emptying out”! If you’re patient enough with your body to do the weight losing in the first place, be kind enough to it to let it adjust afterward too 🙂 How exciting! You’re a motivator, Peg. I’m only down 4 pounds so far and I have quite a bit more to go to be “healthy”. It’s hard to be patient. Grats!!

    Like

  3. pattisj says:

    A few extra pounds followed me home from vacation, need to get rid of them QUICKLY. Don’t know if there is such a thing as quickly at this age, but the next couple of weeks are going to require focus!

    Like

  4. Janu says:

    Try adding squats with weights. No sissy weights – you’ve got to go heavy. Soon you will be a blond Kardashian!

    Like

  5. Tori Nelson says:

    I was pretty shocked when my big, saggy mom boobs turned into tiny, paper-thin saggy Post It boobs after losing some weight. I guess I was expecting a miraculous defeat of gravity?

    Like

  6. You are so funny..making me laugh out loud. Perhaps I can say my failure to lose weight despite my frequent attempts is actually preventing the sag….altho if I could fit into my skinny jeans I’d take the sag any day! Congrats on your loss!!!

    Like

  7. Why did you want to lose weight in the first place? Was it for your health? Your less than firm-skinned body is shouting HURRAH! You did good, Girl! 🙂

    Like

  8. I think it’s to your advantage to be pessimistic and stay cautious. A lot of people, myself included, have learned the hard way not to celebrate too early because it’s not really off until it’s been off a long time.

    Like

  9. notquiteold says:

    That’s what “shapewear” is for.

    Like

  10. misswhiplash says:

    i remember it well! Those days of being slim. Now it seems that it was another lifetime but hey! I am happy being what I am now. At 73 I don’t think that any young buck will be waiting for me to take off my clothes…so I have it and it keeps me warm, especially on my butt……

    Like

  11. Hoo-ray for you! When do we get to see the “after” photo? Re the Kardashian butts: Now you know where their brains are located.

    Like

  12. HoaiPhai says:

    If only the Wonder Bra people made underpants!

    Like

  13. I’m with HoaiPhai! All of our problems would be solved!

    Kudos on losing that weight, Peg. Droopy or not, that’s quite an accomplishment. I’ve managed to lose three pounds, but then they came back. Then they went away and came back again. Then I threw my scale out the window.

    Like

  14. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Oh, yeah – Guess what? I just awarded you the Versatile Blogger Award! You are the best, girl. Here are the rules: 1. Thank and link to the person who nominates you.
2. Share seven random facts about you.
3. Pass this award on to five new blogging friends.
4. Contact and congratulate the awarded bloggers.

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      Well, aren’t you sweet! Thank you so much for the shout out.

      I have to tell you that I make it a firm policy not to take part in the awards process because it’s just so much work and trouble, and I’m basically very lazy. But thank you for thinking about me – I really appreciate it.

      Like

  15. Big Al says:

    Great job, no ifs, ands or butts!

    Like

  16. Carolyn says:

    Too funny and…sadly true!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      It seems every cloud has a droopy lining.

      Like

      • Tar-Buns says:

        Gasp! Could it be my beloved sister, Carolyn, commenting on your blog? How’s your challenge going? Maybe you’re going to surprise us at Sister’s Weekend? Hmmmm…..wonder if I can lose 45 lbs in 2.5 weeks? Yes? NO. Sigh…

        I’m preparing to write that check to the big winner!

        Like

        • pegoleg says:

          I know – I almost fell off my desk chair. I heard that Judy has been laying back in the weeds, steadily losing weight and increasing hotness. You gotta watch out for those quiet ones.

          Like

  17. Lenore Diane says:

    This is awful – forgive me … I remember when I was younger, I walked in my Mom’s bedroom while she was dressing. It was not pretty (and she is thin). Though I am not as thin as my Mom is (or was at that age), I see that same droopy, saggy body in the mirror. The pencil test? Do you know it? I barely fill a bra – but I can hold on to pencils like a champ. I know. You’re jealous.

    Congrats on the weight loss!!

    Like

    • pegoleg says:

      I can see many practical uses for being able to hold pencils without using your hands, although the mind boggles at the image of you retrieving them in the classroom. We have prehensile boobs!

      Like

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