Literizing and it feels so good!

 Why did I start a blog?

I’ve read a number of helpful pieces on writing, blogging and the creative process.  On WordPress alone you can find lots of articles on grammar and theme development, how-to posts with writing exercise topics, etc.

This is all good stuff. But to someone like me, who is pretty sure that Strunk & White was a singing duo with a disco hit in 1978, writing is a lot more elemental.

I write to avoid doing hard time.

Writing, and by extension blogging, acts as a coping mechanism.  That is psychobabble for a way to handle stress that doesn’t hurt anyone, and keeps my picture off the front page of the local paper.

I blog about stuff that makes me angry, or strikes me as absurd: the comedy/drama of everyday life.  Often the topics are things that would have me crying if I didn’t choose to laugh.  Cloaking my responses in humor helps mask the fact that I am actually a self-doubting, overly emotional, critical witch.  (By the way, is that disguise working?)

There are several ways I could have handled each of the following situations:

1) Idiot cuts me off in traffic.
     a) Flip him the bird
     b) Crash his car off a cliff
     c) Write about it

2) Kids trot off to college, abandoning hubby and me.
     a) Curl up in fetal position and cry
     b) Move with no forwarding address
     c) Write about it

3) Can’t move at Wal-Mart because of all the clueless zombies milling about.
     a) Check out their Guns & Ammo department with an eye toward an immediate purchase
     b) Lie down on the floor, right next to the Express Check-out, and commence kicking and screaming
      c) Write about it

4) Cannot resist Christmas tree-shaped Little Debbie snack cakes calling out to me.
     a) Start a website featuring photos of my rapidly expanding gut
     b) See Option 2a above
     c) Write about it

In each case, I chose Option c – write about it.

Wait a minute.  Nope.  I didn’t write a post about the first situation.  May have gone with Option 1a there.

Writing allows me to wrangle daily life into some semblance of manageability.  To wrestle with reality, put it in a headlock, tie it up and leave it, bloody and dazed, on the ground at my feet.

How’s that for a metaphor! 

Or is it a simile?  I always get those confused.  I don’t think Metaphor Is Like A Simile was on my Strunk & White record.  Must have been on their Greatest Hits album.