Chill Out

The ideal kitchen, shown on my favorite channel, HGTV, has granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. So of course, when our refrigerator died, I really wanted to go with stainless.

Unfortunately, stainless is a lot pricier than white. Looking for a way to manage this on a budget, I hit upon a scheme to get a free refrigerator. I wrote to GE and asked for one.

I am not making any of this up. Here is a copy of the letter I sent:

Mr. Jeffrey R. Immelt
GE Chairman of the Board

Dear Mr. Immelt,

I have had my GE refrigerator for about 23 years. My husband and I bought it when we got our first house and it has been a dependable workhorse. But it is getting old. The little gizmo that tells the refrigerator the door is open broke off about 10 years ago and we have been in the dark ever since. The drawers are half broken. The time has come to say goodbye.
I have a replacement all picked out. Of course it’s a GE product. I am in love with one of your refrigerators. Not just any refrigerator, but the GE Profile Energy Star 22.2 Cu.Ft. stainless bottom-freezer model PFS22SBSSS – the one without the ice-maker. We have a little kitchen and this will actually fit in the small space I have.
“Great!” You say. “We like people to be in love with our appliances. What’s the problem?”
I can’t afford it. I have GE Profile refrigerator tastes and a dorm fridge budget.
“Oh” You say, not as warmly as before. “Sorry, but what do you expect us to do about that?”
I’d like you to give me one.
I have a wonderful husband and two, fantastic teenage girls. But if it were just about us, I wouldn’t ask. No, I’d get the $300 model with the wire shelves and be happy. But this is bigger than us. I’m thinking about what is best for our wedding cake. This is a big year for our wedding cake. It will be 25 in November. It has lasted longer than 80% of marriages in America today (not sure of that statistic, but it sounds about right).
It’s an old story, one you probably hear everyday. Our wedding cake spent its first year in my mother’s freezer. Since then it has been way in the back on the bottom shelf of my GE refrigerator (in the dark since the door-is-open-gizmo-breakage-incident). Over the years, whenever we’ve moved, it was the last thing out of the fridge and the first thing back in at the new home. It’s still in pretty good shape, although I don’t think I’d eat it.
Don’t you think that a cake like that deserves a GE Profile Energy Star 22.2 Cu.Ft. stainless bottom-freezer model PFS22SBSSS refrigerator, the one without the ice maker, as a resting place?
Here are pictures of our refrigerator and our cake, lurking on the back shelf in the dark. Wouldn’t this be a great advertisement for GE refrigerators? What a testimonial to the wonderful preservative powers of your refrigerators. Also a terrifying commentary on the preservatives in food, but that is beside the point.
Please consider my proposal. I would appreciate hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Peg Schulte

I did end up getting a stainless steel, French door, freezer-on-the-bottom refrigerator. I love it!

You may be surprised to learn, however, that my new refrigerator was not a gift from the chairman of GE.

Instead of the very large cardboard box I was expecting, GE sent a letter. It was a chilly (note the irony) little form letter from some public relations flunky stating they always appreciate hearing from customers, yada yada yada. There wasn’t even a coupon enclosed!

Although the new appliance was expensive, I am content. To all those unfortunate souls still yearning for a stainless steel refrigerator, I say – let them eat cake! I just so happen to have some in my fridge.

Let GE eat cake.

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About pegoleg

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!
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6 Responses to Chill Out

  1. erichart says:

    Very funny, Peg! I can't believe you actually sent GE that letter!! I would think they would have at least given you a coupon for your wittisms.

    Like

  2. Peg says:

    Wouldn't that have been a great advertising campaign for them? I suspect my letter never actually made it to the top dog. Oh well, their loss.

    Like

  3. Matt Lewis says:

    Dear Peg
    Don’t know how I came across your blog but I’m glad I did. Its fantastic, very funny and a pleasure to read. I’ve added it to my Blogroll for all to enjoy, hope you dont mind
    Keep posting
    Matt

    Like

  4. Bill Richart says:

    I love it! BTW, my fridge has some things in the back that possibly predate the cake… I think the old meatloaf on the third shelf sabotaged the light bulb to keep hidden… I’m sure that Jimmy Hoffa is in there somewhere!

    Like

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