It was really cold this morning. When the alarm went off I wanted to hit the snooze button and burrow back down under the covers but, being a responsible adult, I didn’t. I got up and went through my morning routine.
I was making the bed when it occurred to me that 10-year-old me wouldn’t bother with it. She didn’t make her bed unless Mom was standing over her threatening dire punishment. 10-year-old Peg would say, “What’s the point? It will only get messed up again tonight.” And she would be right.
We grown-ups do a lot of things that our 10-year-old selves would never do. Things like:
9-to-5 Job: While grown-up Peg finds insurance a rewarding and challenging career, 10-year-old Peg would be horrified at the thought of being stuck behind a desk doing boring paperwork all day (her words, not mine.) The only career options that 10-year-old Peg saw on her horizon were: world famous explorer, world famous ballerina, world famous actress, world famous writer, or nun. Preferably a world famous nun.
Thong Underwear: 10-year-old Peg would have thought that wearing these would be like walking around with a dental-floss wedgie all day – uncomfortable and kinda gross. Grown-up Peg has to go along with her on this one.
Smoking: Grown-up Peg smoked for many years and had a hard time quitting. 10-year-old Peg thought it looked cool, but when she tried it once under Katie Loop’s porch she turned a peculiar shade of pea-soup green and just about lost her lunch.
Pantyhose: These have practically gone the way of the dinosaur for young women, but not for women of a “certain age.” Grown-up Peg appreciates the way they tame the tummy and camouflage a snow-white-with-blue-veins leg. 10-year-old Peg would die laughing to see the gymnastics required to get into a pair of these, especially in a 2’ x 2’ bathroom stall on a steamy, summer day.
Blue Cheese: 10-year-old Peg would have responded with a finger-down-the-throat barfing pantomime at the suggestion that she would ever eat stuff like blue cheese, sardines or buttermilk. She knew that these were foods that only Dad could like. Grown-up Peg loves nothing better than a good blue cheese, but buttermilk still earns the barf signal.
Daily Bathing: Grown-up Peg relishes a nice, hot shower and would stand in one for an hour every day if she didn’t need to worry about the well going dry. 10-year-old-Peg only took a weekly bath because of her mom’s strange obsession with cleanliness. 10-year-old-Peg thought that Eau De Gym Class Funk was a perfectly fine scent.
Sex: 10-year-old Peg faked bored sophistication when she first learned about the mechanics involved in this, but secretly she thought, “Ewww. No way.” When it occurred to her that with 8 siblings her parents must have done that 9 times, her reaction was, “EWWWWWW. NO WAY!!!!!”
I could add lots more things to this list, but I don’t want to. Don’t wanna, not gonna and you can’t make me, so THERE! pbbbt!