It was a busy week around here. The last 7 days brought good news, good times, and lots of stepping out…out of my comfort zone.
Good News: I was excited and humbled that my last post, Why I Would Rather Try To Find The Funny Than The Meaning Of Life, was chosen to be Freshly Pressed in the Humor category this past weekend.
Welcome to any new readers – pull up a tuffet and sit down. Old readers, please help the new readers. (By old I mean “already subscribing” as opposed to “newly subscribing”. Of course I don’t actually mean “old.” Have I mentioned lately how young you’re looking?) Show the newbies around and explain our customs; things like how they’re expected to provide sycophantic flattery and monetary tribute to the host blogger, how they have to wear zebra-stripe underwear on Wednesdays – you know, the usual stuff.
New News: I am now techno hip and groovy in a far-out, happening way. I somehow set up both a Twitter account and a Facebook page, linked them to the blog and slapped something up on each one! At least I think I did. I can’t really figure out how Twitter works, when you use the @ instead of the #, how to hook it to Facebook and how you’re supposed to follow, like and retweet 5 bazillion bits of information and funny pictures of cats every hour, round the clock.
One thing I have figured out after just a couple of days, however, is that this stuff could totally suck all the time out of your world. Humongous, Super-Hoover time sucker. I can see myself being so occupied with this I will have no time for real life trivialities, like working at the job that actually pays my bills. To paraphrase Flounder, Oh boy, is this gonna be great!
You can join or subscribe or whatever they call it to my Twitter and Facebook stuff at the bottom of the right hand column.
New News About The News: I lead a double life. Writing is very important to me, but few people in real life know anything about it. That’s because I’ve confined most of my efforts to this blog, and nonbloggers have no idea what it is all about. Most of you probably know what I mean. When you try to relate a blogging anecdote to real-life people, you’re met with a look of mild puzzlement that quickly morphs into near-comatose boredom. All that is going to change, because blog life and real life are about to collide.
I’m turning pro.
Pro may be too strong a term; perhaps gifted amateur. Anyway, this week I signed a contract to write a column for the local paper.
It may not be the New York Times – this ain’t exactly a metropolis – but I’m excited. I will be doing a monthly column with my own picture, byline and everything. I imagine it will be a lot like this blog. I said I envisioned an Erma Bombeck type column, and the editor’s response was, “Ego trip much? Pul-leeeeeze.” I am REALLY going to have to watch what I say. It won’t be enough to change the names to protect the innocent, because this will be read by people I know.
That’s the part that makes me just a teeny bit nervous, as in terrified to the point of puking. These people know me. They see me, and have seen me for years, as a mild-mannered insurance agent. Now I’m going to be showing them my thoughts, practically stripping my soul naked and strutting it down to the Piggly Wiggly on a Saturday morning. They can read, judge, and criticize me everywhere I go. What if they don’t like my words?
But I am determined to force myself out of my comfort zone because that’s the only way to progress as a writer. That is what I want to be. Like Pinocchio yearning to be a REAL boy, I’ve yearned to be a real writer. To me, that’s someone who gets paid for their work. I somehow conned the paper into paying me for this gig. It’s not a fortune, but I will be getting real, cash money for the words that come out of my brain. I will be a real writer at long last.
With blogging, Twitter, Facebook and print journalism under my belt, a book deal and screenplay are sure to be right around the corner. All I have to do is write me a couple of those things. Then nothing can stop me.
Total world domination is in my grasp. Bwaahahahaha. BWA-HA-HA-HA!
Just as long as I can keep from throwing up.