I want to get Oprah’s attention, and I need your help.
Warning: the soul-bearing honesty contained here may be too intense for younger, and more sensitive readers. Reader discretion is advised.
I haven’t been totally honest with you on this blog. Sure, I’ve revealed some of my hopes and dreams, but I’ve concealed my innermost thoughts. The creamy, nougatty center of my aspirations. That dream is so secret, I have only revealed it to one living soul. Of course, I mean Oprah.
Hitting 50 often brings on a midlife crisis. Not for me – that was a breeze. It wasn’t until a year later when our youngest left for college that the heavy introspection began. I won’t bore you with a lot of details, mainly because they aren’t funny. Suffice it to say; I decided it was time to make changes.
Soon after I started this blog in earnest, I happened upon the Oprah Magazine website. The lead article on the front page of the website was “Do What You Love”. It chronicled midlife career changes, and said it’s never too late. This struck me like a bolt of lightning. I felt compelled to write to Oprah. Here are parts of that email, in italics.
Dear Oprah Magazine,
I’m pretty sure God doesn’t work for Oprah. But when I opened your online magazine today I came closer than I ever have to feeling that He was speaking directly to me. (Isn’t that a powerful opening? All the more so because it is true. I’d want to read further, wouldn’t you?)
(drum roll) I want to be a writer.
(Middle part all about wanting to write, hopes and dreams, death waiting for me just around the corner, and trying to get Oprah to read my blog and sponsor it.)
Please email, write, or call my home or office phone. If I’m not available I’m probably out shopping for headstones…. (nice close, showing passion without sounding too desperate)
Surprisingly, I haven’t heard from Oprah yet. It has only been a few months, I know, and she’s pretty busy. But I admit to being a little disappointed.
Then it occurred to me; Oprah doesn’t even know me. I can’t expect her to give me a job immediately, without getting to know my work. In fact, it’s entirely possible that some well-meaning, yet misguided intern assigned to read her emails didn’t even pass my letter on to her.
So I’ve decided to institute A Campaign, and this is where you come in.
Operation: Dear Oprah
The purpose of the campaign, Operation: Dear Oprah, is to convince Oprah to have me as a regular blogger on her website.
I’m going to keep writing to Oprah, impressing her with my passion and driving her toward my blog.
As part of the campaign, I want all my faithful readers to inundate her inbox! (I’m not sure if the two of you can manage a decent barrage, let alone an inundation, but let’s try, shall we?)
Near as I can tell, you go here on the Oprah Magazine website to send emails: https://www.oprah.com/ownshow/plug_form.html?plug_id=505
Or you could go to Oprah on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/oprahwinfreyshow and leave comments.
Put a link to my blog on your Facebook page and tell everyone you know.
And, if you happen to travel in the same social circles, casually mention the blog to Oprah when you are chatting with her over Dom Perignon and black truffle blinis at some fundraiser.
The point is to enthusiastically gush about my wonderful blog, https://pegoleg.wordpress.com/, get Oprah to read it and sponsor it.
Tell all your friends! Let’s get a groundswell of public opinion on our side. It will be just like the peasants rising up against the aristocracy in France. Or Classic Coke drinkers getting the company to back down on that New Coke swill.
When she sees this is the will of the people, Oprah will give me a blog!
Thanks for your support.