It is a truth universally known that appliances die in threes. You watch in helpless dread when the dishwasher starts leaking, because you know your breakdown woes have just begun. Appliance blight will almost certainly spread. You can only hope it chooses a minor appliance like the toaster or blender as the next victim, but you know the neighboring stove and fridge are vulnerable. It may even, horror-of-homeowner-horrors, jump floors to infect the furnace.
Three is bad enough, but that’s supposed to be the end of it. It’s practically a law of nature, right? Which is why I’m protesting; I seem to be getting more than my share.
This year started off well enough. My husband, Bill, retired at the end of last year and I cut way back on my hours at work. We rented a house in Arizona for the month of February, trying new things and avoiding the worst of a horrid Illinois winter. Bill wound up in the hospital with pneumonia, but we still had a great trip. Shortly after we got home we both experienced Montezuma’s Revenge, something one associates with 3rd world countries, not central Illinois. Bill got it worse than I. We had our well tested and I was with Bill, in the hospital again, when we got the results: our water was contaminated with both coliform and e-coli, a particularly nasty bug. The well company come out the next day and bombed the well with chlorine and I started lugging jugs of water from Bill’s sister’s house while we waited for the chlorine to do its job.
A week later the water softener we had been renting for more than 20 years died. I like my poisoned water to be soft, so the Culligan guy came out to go over options. We wound up having a new one installed to the tune of $2,300.
We had the well tested again the following week, and still had the double whammy of coliform and e-coli. I scheduled the well company to come and chlorine-bomb it again; $160 minimum each time they turned into the driveway.
The next week our refrigerator, which was only 8 years old, got bored with the same-old, same-old of keeping the temperatures at 0 in the freezer and 37 in the refrigerator. It wanted to mix things up and started playing Dial-a-Temp, gifting me with frozen carrots and pasta salad, along with semi-liquid ice cream. I called the local repair/sales place who had originally installed most of our appliances and the repairman came to look at the fridge. He sat in my driveway for 15 minutes. When he came in he didn’t take out a single tool, didn’t break a sweat or even bend over – just opened the fridge door, looked in and announced it would cost $500-600 to fix, supposing he could get the parts, which was a big suppose. I said no thank you. Time for a new one.
I did my due diligence; checked out Consumer Reports, asked friends, then went comparison shopping. I found out there’s some sort of chip shortage due to Covid (everything is due to Covid), so refrigerators are as hard to find as a helpful customer service person at the DMV. The local place didn’t have anything under $2200, and even at that price they couldn’t guarantee a delivery date. I went to every place in town and a couple places out of town looking for something that was in stock, would fit my small space and would not break the bank. Slim pickings. I settled on one for $1500 from a big-box store and scheduled delivery for 2 weeks later. I adjusted the temperature on my current fridge 10 times a day and prayed that it wouldn’t die before the replacement arrived.
Since I wasn’t buying from them, the local shop sent me a bill for $89 for the 15 minutes their teenage repairman had spent standing in front of my open fridge.
The next week I asked the guy who mows the lawn for an estimate to take down a small, dead maple tree that was leaning precariously close to my screen porch. He looked around and pointed to a much larger tree, which was also leaning toward the house, and which towered over both the maple tree and the house. “That’s the bigger risk,” he announced, “it’s also dying. About $750 should take care of both of them, unless we run into problems.” I told him to put in on his schedule.
Time for another water test. I’d been hauling water back and forth from the in-laws for more than a month, going so far as to boil water on the (still working, thank God) stove a couple of times like I was living in a Little House on the Prairie episode. Surely everything was OK now? The email I received from the lab the next day said that my water woes were here to stay.
The day of the new refrigerator finally dawned. I spent the evening before cleaning out the old one: saying goodbye to a trash bag full of my fast food condiment hoard, frozen produce and a surprisingly large assortment of ancient, half-used bottles of sauces and dressings. I transferred everything that would fit from the freezer section to the chest freezer down the basement, then lugged up and cleaned out coolers in preparation for the big day. When the deliverymen called to say they were 20 minutes away I loaded all the perishables into the coolers and dragged them into the dining room. They had to remove my front door, no fun when it’s over 90 degrees outside, and they broke my mom’s sterling silver candelabra in the process, but soon the new fridge was installed. I waited a couple of hours while the new unit cooled, then reversed the unloading process.
That evening I went down the basement to start a load of wash. I was pleased to have one problem solved and was considering a more permanent water solution as I pulled the knob out on the washing machine to start it filling, and…nothing. No mechanical sounds, no water. I checked the water lines – they looked good. The thing was plugged in. I tried the dryer – also nothing. Aha! If neither one was working something must have tripped a circuit. Easy peasy, problem solved! I flipped the breaker back on, heard a popping sound and the breaker flipped itself back off. Hmmm. I flipped the breaker on, yet again, and wisps of smoke started coming out of my 23-year-old Top Loading Maytag Washer.
I’m not mechanically inclined, but even I know that it is a very bad sign when an appliance smokes. I unplugged both the washer and dryer and monitored them for a few minutes to make sure the house wasn’t about to go up in flames, then trudged upstairs, defeated.
I had been a savvy shopper with the fridge. With the washer, I didn’t care. The next day I drove to a local store, the same store that was charging me $89 for 15 minutes of their repairman’s time. I asked the sales-lady in the showroom if they had a washing machine in stock. Any washing machine. I didn’t care about the brand, the color, whether it was high efficiency, was programmable or came in an on-trend Midnight Charcoal Brushed Quartz finish. If it was in stock and affordable, if it meant I wouldn’t be beating underwear against the rocks in our creek, I would write a check that very minute. If, I added, they would waive the $89 fee for the fruitless refrigerator visit a couple of weeks earlier. For some reason, that had become important to me. Getting that fee waived had become a symbol that the universe was still fair, my recent experiences to the contrary.
She explained that $89 was their minimum service call charge, even though they were 5 minutes down the road from me and the guy merely stopped by on his way back to the shop at the end of the day. But I think she could tell that I was at the end of my rope. My chin was quivering, despite my best efforts, my eyes were filling with tears and I was having a hard time keeping it together. She agreed to waive the service fee. She wrote up the sale – I don’t even remember what it cost – and scheduled delivery; I paid and practically ran to my car. Fastest major appliance sale ever.
I lost it once I was safely in my car. I put my head down and covered my face so people outside couldn’t see me, wouldn’t hear me wail as great, gulping sobs wracked my body. I couldn’t stop crying. It was too much.
The water softener, the well, Bill, the refrigerator, the trees, and now the washing machine – it was the last straw. It was too much loss, too many deaths, all in a few, short months. I didn’t know how I could bear it.
Eventually I stopped crying. I took deep, shuddering breaths, wiped my streaming eyes and nose with my sleeve, and slowly calmed down. At last I felt able to put the car into gear, back out of the appliance store parking lot and drive home, tired to my bones.
I know life will go on. I know that eventually the pain of loss will lessen and I won’t cry all the time, as I am doing at this very moment, as I type this. But I loved my 23-year-old Top Loading Maytag Washer – I don’t think I fully appreciated how deeply until it was gone. And, dear God, I will miss it every day, for as long as I live.
READ THIS PLEASE: While the bits about my appliances are all true, hiding in the fluff is the only loss that I give a damn about.
Bill, my dear husband of 38 years, died.
It was my bad if anyone felt uncomfortable because they missed the main point. Humor has long been my way of coping, and it is so difficult to say it, straight out. It’s still so difficult to believe.
Rest in peace, my love.
Bill Schulte
7/9/1954 – 3/27/2021
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
I feel your pain, Peg. But selfishly, I’m so glad you’re writing again.
Sending much love and hugs on enduring your many losses this year. xoxo
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Thanks for all your support during these difficult months, Tar. Love you my sister.
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What is that saying? When it rains it’s a sh*t storm? I hear ya. For me personally, this past year and half has been nothing but endless anxiety, pain, suffering, and loss. Oh and the pandemic on top of it all! Well, just know that I am always here for you if you want to chat, vent, cry.
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I’m so sorry you’ve been experiencing so much loss, my dear. The pandemic put the cherry on top of a big ‘ol sh*t sundae, didn’t it?
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Yep. I’ve had so much crap happen this past year. Often when I hear people complain about the pandemic, I say, “What pandemic??”
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Wow! I thought I was a string of bad luck! Peg I just want to sit and cry for you. As far as your washer goes I totally understand. I miss my top loading Maytag Washer so much. Sometimes it seems unbearable. My first replacement was a top loading model but it just wasn’t the same. Now I am using a front loading piece of #@!$ that has foul smells coming from it all the time.
I’m thinking Bill may have to unretire until you finish with all your replacements.
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Thanks for stopping by – it has been a while, hasn’t it? Hope you are doing well.
Actually, buried in all that crap about my appliances is the main, sad fact that Bill died. It will be 5 months tomorrow.
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Oh, my gosh, Peg. I’m so sorry. My comment seems pretty crass. I apologize if it upset you. You have really had a hard time of it. Your strength and ability to still see any humour in all this is astounding. All I can do is offer you a virtual hug and lend a virtual ear.
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Oh no! Don’t think that, you didn’t have any way to know. I was being a little too subtle for clarity I think. Thank you for your kind words.
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Nice to see a Peg-o-leg post again! I have to say that I feel like I’m finally in good company with bad appliances…different stuff (except the fridge, which died just as we were filling a cooler for a holiday trip), but same headaches! Cheers to crappy engineering!
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It has been a while, hasn’t it? How’s everything in your world?
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Oh my, how stressful to have to deal with replacing so many things at once! I guess the bright light in all of this is you didn’t have to replace Bill! 🤔
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While all the stuff about the appliances was true, sadly, it was mainly a metaphor or parallel, obviously very well hidden, for the main tragedy that Bill also died. Between the well and the water softener.
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Oh my gosh Peg, I am so very sorry! Here I was trying to be funny & did not catch that in the post at all. Please forgive my flip comment. 💕
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No, no, that is all my fault. I just added a postscript to clarify. I’m not the kind of person to type, “Hey, my husband died and I’m searching for a reason to get up in the morning.” But I guess that would be a lot more straightforward. 🙂
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Peg, I have really missed you. Hearing about your recent misfortunes, as aggravating and poorly timed as they were, I was wondering how a strong person like yourself became so overwhelmed. Then I saw your comment about losing Bill and it all made sense. I am so saddened to hear this. Please accept my sincerest condolences.
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Thanks Al for the kind words. I have missed you too. Hope things are going really well for you and your family.
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Bill died?! My deep and sincere condolences. I hope writing about all this helps you find a way out of the ‘hole’ you find yourself in.
During the past year I’ve thought more than once about how I would cope if The Car Guy wasn’t around to keep an aging me and our rural lifestyle functioning…
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It’s a hell of an adjustment, I hope you don’t have to go through it Margy. Good to see you again after all this time!
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One of my best friends died a few years back. Her hubby would totally agree that it is a hell of an adjustment! I can only begin to imagine what you have been through – on top of all the other crap of the past year.
My Hubby and I have put a lot of thought into ‘estate’ planning because we are at that age where it is a good idea to get our ducks in a row. To that end, last year we bought a new fridge, washer and dryer (my Washer was a 40 year old Maytag…) Next up is new furnace and air con.
Now, if we could only swap out some of our body parts so we are ship shape too…
I hope you find some value and comfort in blogging again, but if not, it is still a relief to all us old time bloggers to hear from you.
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Dear Peg- bravo! I’m very proud of you for writing all this down and actually getting through it! Well done sweetie 😘
I love you
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Thanks so much, Jude. Your support, and support of all my dear family has meant so much.
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I’m so very sorry for your loss(es). What a brutal time. There are only so many bumps we can deal with until we hit a wall. Much like Darla, so much has been going on for me personally that I’ve barely noticed there’s been a pandemic going on. May your new appliances serve you well for years to come, and may your family’s health woes be over for a very long time. And sorry about your well water – it truly sucks. That said, it was great to see you post again.
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Thanks, it’s good to be back. Although I forgot how to login, how to upload photos, my old Paint program doesn’t work anymore…..
I hope all of your busy personal business is of the great variety, not the crap variety. 🙂
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Peg, very touching. Obviously I knew the back story of losing Bill. He was your 23-year -old top loading Maytag washer — dependable, always there, part of your landscape. So sorry that everything else fell apart, too… Wish I was closer so I could have helped with some of the other stuff. Love you.
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Thanks Bill. The love and support of family has meant the world to me.
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Left the homestead for a while…some deal with cats agro to have their owner MIA, apparently your appliances took offense too.
Seriously, may peace and comfort wrap warmly around you. Bill’s loss is tragic.
The WP block editor and “new” stuff will certainly distract you a bit. We are glad you are bak and having on to that sense of humor – that sense of you.
Hugs, and wish I could send an encouraging paw wave, but RC cat is cranky….keep muttering about Staff better pay attention to appliance attitudes and abilities when left alone ….you know how she is: “appliances, humans, both taking up space, constantly needing attention and noisy”
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How nice to see you again! Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I had a heck of a time figuring out the new editor. I don’t like it. Then again, I’m old and don’t like any change.
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(there’s shortcuts to the old editor – many of us are still using it…the new one drove me nuts)
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My condolences. Keep writing. x
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Thanks, it’s good therapy, right?
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I am so very sorry Peg, for your loss of Bill. I know this pain and then when anything happens you feel more alone all over again!
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That’s so true! Thank you.
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So, I was reading through this post, chuckling and commiserating with your appliance and water adventures (been there, done that!). Then I got to the end. I’m so very sorry you lost your Bill. Hugs, Peg.
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Thanks so much.
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Thanks for your wonderful writing and kudos for your courage during this time of true sorrow, Peg. May the memories of your “top loader” sustain you. 😌
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Thank you so much for stopping by and for your kind comments, Steve and Jean. It was great to see you at my brother’s shindig and get caught up.
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Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that Peg, 38 years, there’s always going to be a hole there now, one that can’t be filled, we develop habits and routines with our loved ones and when they’re gone our heads still, just out of reflex, just carry on with the same habits ; ‘pass me the salt…oh wait…bugger…’, at least you were blessed with 38 years, 38 years, so many smiles and laughter and love over those years, God bless 🙂
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Thank you. And you are so right; I have been blessed in many ways.
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Hello Miss Peggles,
I’m just now catching up with blogging and saw your comment at Al’s place.
I started reading this back in Wisconsin a couple of weeks ago and just finished it. OMG. I am so sorry. I didn’t know Bill, but tears are running down my cheeks. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I’ve been through loss but a husband? Now I understand why you haven’t blogged.
Shoot me an email susielindau@gmail.com if you want to talk, and I’ll give you my number.
Sending lots of overdue hugs and healing prayers your way. xxoo Susie
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thanks for the very kind words of comfort, Susie. How nice to hear from you! Hope all is great with you. I haven’t yet really got back into the blogging world, and I’m looking forward to visiting your site soon.
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