Going for the record.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Pollyanna, a book written 100 years ago which tells the story of a little girl whose cheerful determination to look on the bright side infects everyone around her. No ordinary the-glass-is-half-full optimist, Pollyanna was a the-glass-is-overflowing-with-magical-sparkly-unicorn-piss optimist. Her name has become an adjective to describe someone so unrealistically, relentlessly positive that after more than a few minutes in their company, a normal person is strongly tempted to punch said silver-lining-seeker in the face.
Pollyanna tried to find something to be happy about even during the worst of bad times. She called this The Glad Game. I can’t think of any time in history when we’ve needed this more, so let’s all play The Glad Game. I’ll go first.
During the Coronavirus lock-down, I’m glad to…
broaden my mind. When the shutdown was imminent, I rushed to the library and stocked up on classic literature, determined not to waste this precious opportunity to improve my mind. It was during week 1 so I don’t precisely remember the title, author or plot, but I definitely feel that maybe I finished an entire book. I was also inspired to brush up on my Shakespeare. I didn’t actually read more than a paragraph, but a niggling memory from a long ago English class inspired me to use the Google to look up a passage from Macbeth. Each morning when I wake up and realize where and when I am, I lie in bed staring at the ceiling like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, but without the 5 o’clock shadow. Instead of Sonny & Cher’s I Got You Babe, this line plays through my head. It has become my daily mantra.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time.
appreciate that outside appearances don’t matter. Beauty salons were one of the first, nonessential businesses to be shut down, giving all of us the opportunity to appreciate that physical appearance doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Doesn’t matter for you and me, that is. Certain politicians are clearly still getting Botox and other essential (for them) services, while Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot took one for the team and sought the services of her stylist when scientists warned her split ends might be directly responsible for worsening the virus’s spread in her beleaguered city. My inability to get a pedicure means that my toenails are growing around the tops of my toes, making it difficult to walk, but I’ve got nowhere to go anyway. I’m glad that months without a manicure mean I will soon be able to give those Indian mystics a run for their money as a record holder in the Guinness World Book.
support local businesses. Restaurants and bars are all closed, but I’m glad I can do my part to support these small business owners by getting huge, fat-laden carryout dinners almost every night. After months of carryout dinners I’m also glad to be the proud owner of a stylish set of matching black plastic food storage containers.
tackle needed projects around the house: I resolved to use this time to kick my to-do list into high gear, planning to clean and organize our basement, garage, utility drawer and every overstuffed closet in the house. I actually did clean out one closet that first week. That was before my new best buddies, Despair and Apathy, dragged me down to my permanent place in front of the TV, ass-nestled in the Barcalounger with an open box of Little Debbie Zebra Cakes. Whenever I start getting down on myself for not doing jack around this hell hole, all I have to do is open the door to that one clean, organized CoronaCloset and I feel glad.
appreciate that outside appearances don’t matter, part 2: The first week it made me sad to look into my closet crammed full of stylish clothing and shoes I would now have no place to wear. After months of living in one of three pairs of sweatpants, now when I look into that closet it’s a glimpse into a strange exotic land that you’ve read about but never visited. Before I crawl into bed around 3 am, since I now have my days and nights mixed up worse than a newborn baby, I have a strict rule of dropping the sweats-du-jour onto the floor and changing into my jammies. We must maintain standards. I’m glad that after this is all over I’ll have the chance to do more than my fair share to revive the economy, since I’ll need to replace my entire wardrobe. The Covid-19 (virus) tragedy has resulted in my Covid-15 (pounds) tragedy.
Virtual Dickey to the rescue
learn new technology: Now that just about everyone with an office job is working from home, even old people like me have had to embrace modern technologies like Go to Meeting, Zoom and Skype. Whenever my job requires me to see other people from my kitchen-table-turned-office space, I’m glad for Zoom’s Virtual Background which lets me superimpose a picture of a clean, organized workspace over the reality of the mountains of molding take-out containers which litter every dusty surface of my home. I’m doubly glad for the Virtual Dickey App. It was worth every penny of the extra $499 it cost to cover my greasy, two-tone bird’s nest with a smoothly styled hairdo, and lay a crisp, professional suit over the oversized sweat-shirt I’ve been living in. It used to be pink, is now a shade best described as “greige,” and the Ghosts of Carryouts Past have left stains on the bodice that form a road-map detailing my journey from productive member of society to apathetic, overweight hermit.
thank Essential Services. Some feel that certain governors have become petty dictators, drunk on the frighteningly unlimited power they have seized during this crisis, making god-like decisions on which places can be open and which can’t that range from questionable (flower stores) to incomprehensible (beaches) to unconstitutional (churches, synagogues and mosques). Others feel that it is perfectly reasonable for someone elected to cut ribbons and bestow fat contracts on political buddies (here in the Great State of Illinois, the governor’s mansion is also a stopping place on the way to the penitentiary) to get to declare that we must stay holed up in our basements for the next 18 months, or whenever said governor deems we can crawl out because life has become perfectly safe in every way. Despite these differences of opinion, I think we can all agree on the core industries that have been universally classified as Essential Services from day 1. In every jurisdiction throughout our country, throughout this pandemic, brave men and women have been working tirelessly, day after day, to bring us safely through this crisis. I’m glad to raise a glass in salute to these, the most essential of Essential Services; hospitals, police and fire departments, and liquor stores.
What makes you glad during the lock-down?
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Cocktail hour comes earlier each day. I’ll be washing my breakfast down with tequila by next week. (We are closing in on 10,000 deaths here in Jersey, so staying home isn’t nearly as bad as going out)
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Tequila on your Fruit Loops sounds like a reasonable menu choice in your situation.
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It just screams south of the border tropical fun!
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I’m glad I no longer have to drive 30-40 minutes each way to all sorts of appointments. I love to sit with my laptop, not really caring if the guinea pig chirps or not while I’m online. His cage is by my little table. But I miss my favorite Mexican food restaurant (which is closed and is not even doing take out). However, another Mexican restaurant downtown is doing take out so I’ve been enjoying their delicious food.
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Guinea pig chirping is practically expected in our new work reality!
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Validation. For years my wife has been telling me I’m wasting my life away. Turns out I had it right all along (gloating as I type).
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You’re doing your Civic duty!
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You know me, I live to serve.
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Thanks for the laugh. I’m still chuckling at your ‘Facebook ruined my life’ post, written years ago 🤣.
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Thanks, I haven’t reread that one in a long time, although it’s a favorite.
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I still have no idea what day it is. Wait, don’t tell me…
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It’s better not to know, Susie.
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I’m glad hubby and I are retired – we already knew how to keep busy without much input from outside sources. Online grocery shopping has been wonderful (we’re in isolation for 14 days after returning to Canada from Arizona.)
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A friend of ours had to leave Arizona for Canada a month ago – I got the impression they were going to lock all you snow birds out if you didn’t make it home in time.
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The biggest reason Snowbirds left was because their private health insurers cancelled their coverage for Covid. Canada did not choose to stop commerce or trade from the USA so we thought it unlikely they would choose to deny the Right of Canadians to return home!
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Oh, that was the reason! I didn’t know.
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Love your new headshot! Very professional. Confident, yet approachable. Send me over some Little Debbies, please.
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I think the gray roots are definitely a good look for me, thanks.
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Very professional headshot! Confident, yet approachable. Send some of those Little Debbies my way, please.
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My mom was a big fan of Pollyanna – and I grew to hate that HAHA
The world on pause – despite the virus, some things good have come from it.
I heard one teenage girl say “Well, it’s not so bad. This is the first time the entire family has been home at one time for a long time” That’s sad, but I’m glad for her.
Without the morning traffic and people rushing off to work noises, sitting on the patio with coffee has been really nice: quiet and still except for all the birds who absolutely delighted to have the stage and an audience. Never heard so many sing so well.
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That’s a good point about slowing down and enjoying nature. I’m typing this from my screen porch where we are enjoying the return of the hummingbirds. My kids loved that movie and we play the Glad Game all the time, although I think they do it mainly sarcastically.
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Peg, thank you! I have been having some difficulty relating to everyone who is obsessively cleaning their house. Like you I did what needed to be done that first week. After that … I really don’t care. It’s so good to know there are other long toe nailed people who can barely walk out there like me.
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When this is all over, the ERs will be stuffed with former fashionistas suffering from ingrown toenails.
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Absolutely!
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CoronaCloset! I have to use that! I have three Corona-Boxes-of-Beads now sorted.. Yay.
Thank you for stirring from your Barcalounger and Little Debbies to share the madness most delightfully with us!
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CoronaBeads! You have every right to be proud of three, count ’em three, boxes done.
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I am thankful the virus hit in spring and not the dead of winter. I had a routine down having retired from full time teaching a year ago but it’s been an adventure with hubby home, too (layed-off). Kinda like a fully retired test run.
Because it’s spring, our yard and shed/man cave are now looking most splendid. We also have more bird feeders so bird-watching is now our “sport”. Finally, thankful that my family and friends are well and hopefully safe from the terrible virus because that is ultimately all that matters. 🙂
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That is so true, Tar, about being glad it’s not winter. I moved my mobile office out to the porch this afternoon. It’s a bit brisk, but not 30 below zero, so that’s good.
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Whenever I have a Zoom meeting at work and have to quickly replace my Little Debbie zebra cake-stained sweatshirt, I always look at all my sad, neglected, dusty clothes in the closet and cry. Tears of joy because I do not miss it at all! I think if this pandemic has taught me anything, it’s that at the core I’m a hermit.
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That is a fundamental reaction difference. I used to mourn the loss of cute clothes and high heels. Now that I can’t fit into any of that stuff, I’ve learned to embrace my inner slob.
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I’m glad that someone finally gave me a word to describe my soul as it slowly forgets the sensation of human touch: greige.
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Jules, you hit it on the head – the loss of that most basic need, human touch, is unbelievably sad.
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Beuliding waves of current wile setting at home that’s good!!!
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Thanks?
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Heeeeeey😄
Leave the idea of wanting to know about what lockdown has impacted us positively..
Am still hanging at your intro because it’s superb🤩🤩🤩
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Thanks for stopping by.
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