Let’s fall in love.
People can be endlessly fascinating. They can also be endlessly irritating. The secret to getting along with others, no matter where they fall on the fascinating/irritating spectrum at any given point in time, is to know when to speak up and when to shut up.
Greater love hath no man than to…
- speak up when she has spinach between her teeth
- shut up when she asks if her butt looks too big
- speak up when he leaves his turn signal on
- shut up when he is driving so slowly bicycles are passing him
- speak up when his breath is bad enough to stop a charging rhino
- shut up when he farts
- speak up when she can’t remember her best friend’s name
- shut up when she repeats the story you’ve heard so many times you could recite it in your sleep
- speak up when he helps put away the groceries without being asked
- shut up when he puts the canned peas on the wrong shelf
- shut up when he gets the letters wrong in the ABC song
- speak up when he shares his toys with his little sister
- shut up when she asks what you REALLY think of her man
- speak up when you think he would hurt her
- shut up when you can’t stand the politician she thinks walks on water
- speak up when she spews hate about people just because they’re different
Each of us has distinct characteristics and quirks. Some we can change, and some we can’t; some we can help one another improve, and some it’s nobody else’s business to even try. Whether at work, a family gathering, on the internet or within a marriage, before giving advice we should probably ask ourselves:
Will this be truly helpful?
Am I trying to make the other person feel better? Be better?
Am I really just criticizing?
Greater love hath no man than to accept his fellows as they are.
And, damn, that ain’t easy.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Word(Press)! Peggles, you would ace my Humane Ed classes! I usually think of it as, “If biting my tongue in this moment feels as hard as resisting that second bottle of wine, I should probably bite my tongue.”
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Good summary, Jules.
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Ain’t easy…is so right. I try to mind my own business when possible, but there are times when the urge to tell someone their skirt is tucked up in their pantyhose in the back is overwhelming. That depends, of course, on how much I like that person!!! There are probably people I’d let walk around with toilet paper stuck to their shoe all day…
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Letting someone know about the skirt tuckage would qualify as a “speak up,” at least in my book. I know what you mean about the toilet paper.
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Peg, you nailed this. It should especially be placed inside each “congratulations on your engagement” card!
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Definitely. These are things I have to constantly remind myself when dealing with my own, dear husband.
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I follow a simpler mantra:
“Best to keep the mouth quiet, and be thought an idiot, than to open it, and remove all doubt.”
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I should have that one tattooed on my forehead. But then it would be tough to see.
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I make it my rule to accept all people as they are, regardless, unless it’s some stupid idiot that doesn’t agree with me. But, hey, rules are made to be broken, right?
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I hate stupid idiots who make it impossible for me to be noble and understanding.
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Wise words, Peg. How helpful is another matter. Not for nothing have I been dubbed ‘foot in mouth.’ 🙃
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I think “foot in mouth” is an actual disease, isn’t it?
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Now you’ve got it. 🙂
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What I mean by that is, now you know.
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No, I think you were right the first time.
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I’ve read the list a few times, and still can’t remember in which instances to speak up, and when to shut up.
Does this mean that I better shut up now?
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That seems to be the consensus – when in doubt, shut up. Or you could print the list out and carry it in your wallet at all times, whatever works for you.
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Well said, Peg. Words to stay married by! 🙂
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As with many of my posts, these are things I need to remind myself. 🙂
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Wise words, Peg. It always comes back to the Golden Rule. Have a great weekend. 🙂
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That is so true. Have a great weekend yourself!
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I’ve been trying to practice the “pause” before I speak up. Turns out it’s really working for me! Gives me a second to ask if it’s snarky and judgmental (which many times it is…) and then to reframe my words so that it sounds like I’m frickin Ghandi. I’ve had some amazing results in the last few days with both family and friends! Timely post! Thanks!
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Good advice – I’m going to try the “pause” myself. A little more Ghandi in the world would not be a bad thing.
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Amen sista!
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These things aren’t that hard to follow. Why can’t they be written into law? Would it be a violation of our Constitutional rights to just be nicer on a very basic level? After all, Santa is watching you.
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I know that particular threat worked to keep me in line for whole weeks back in the day.
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OK, I just had this entire post embroidered onto a pillow.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Pego! 🙂
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It will give you something to do over the long break. Happy, happy to y’all as well!
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