Try our meaty haunches!
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American Hairlines
From Hair to Eternity
Head Hunters
The Hairport
A Cut Above
We’ve all seen these signs. Why do beauty salons seem to have a monopoly on bad pun names? Is this something they teach in beauty school? Do students brainstorm corny names as they perfect the art of the Jheri Curl?
It’s about time other industries joined in the fun. Here are a few suggestions:
- The Right Stuff: Taxidermist
- Up In Smoke: Marijuana sales
- See You Later Alligator: Reptile petting zoo
- The Rite Stuff: Religious supplies
- Out On A Limb: Prosthesis manufacturer
- Trunk Show: Tree trimming service
- The White Stuff: Betty White memorabilia shop
- The Grass is Always Greener: Marijuana sales
- Pity Party: NASCAR pit crew
- Pushing Up Daisies: Florist (specializing in funeral arrangements)
- Out On A Limb: Tree trimming service
- The Fight Stuff: Boxing gym
- Up Periscope: Proctologist’s practice
- The Write Stuff: Bookstore
- Jeepers Creepers: Optometrist
- The White Stuff: Snow machine manufacturer
- Trunk Show: Elephant rentals for Indian weddings
- Must Give Us Paws: Shakespearean theater for dogs
- The Blight Stuff: Pesticide distributor
- Ex-Lax: Moving company
- Atlas Shrugged: Rand McNally map store
- The Wright Stuff: Airplane showroom
- Right Here In River City: Pool and billiard supplies
- Pole Vault: First National Bank of Warsaw
- The Bright Stuff: Electrical contractor
- The White Stuff: Cocaine dealer
- Curl Up & Dye, You Gravy Sucking Pig: Combination beauty salon/all-you-can-eat barbecue buffet
Disclaimer: The above names are assumed to be original. Any similarity to a business, living or dead, is sheer coincidence. It could also be the fault of my unconscious mind committing plagiarism without my knowledge or consent.
More Disclaiming: I posted this a couple of years ago as a match-game, but that was WAY too much work for the average reader, so only 2 people read it. Now I’ve done the heavy lifting for you.
What you got?
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Oh my goodness. Love the hair salon/ barbecue joint!
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It would save time if you’re getting your hair done on your lunch hour.
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Left overs – supplies for left-handed folks.
The sky’s the limit – pilot school
Macaroon & Cheese – a deli offering vegetarian sandwiches and small french cookies
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Bwaha! Good ones.
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Love #27! If the salon runs out of red hair dye, maybe they can dip into the bbq sauce for a backup. Just think of it – the vinegar will give your hair sheen, the ketchup will provide lustrous highlights, and the brown sugar gives those beachy waves we’re all dying for. You’re all set to ride an elephant to the Indian wedding!
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That’s a great idea! And with each application of Miss Clairol BBQ Red #4 they give you a stick to fight off the dogs that will follow you down the street.
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Great stuff, although “Up In Smoke” is the name of a local tobacconist.
I like where your head is at!
😀
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I probably DID read that one somewhere – nothing new under the sun, eh?
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I suppose as someone whose blog is called ‘The Write Transition,’ I should remain neutral…
These are great. Loved the Betty White and optometrist one. The last one has such a lovely ring, too. Would you believe I used to own that Steve Martin comedy album? Listened to it all the time.
)
♫ Grandpaaaa bought a rubber. ♫
(I sincerely hope you know what album I’m talking about. Otherwise that rubber comment is going to seem really weird.
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Are you kidding? I had that album, too – wore it out. Check out my tag line under “About Peg-o-Leg” by my avatar. Only had 1 person ever get that allusion.
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I didn’t recognize that tag line at first, but now that we’re talking about it, I do. 🙂
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I wanna know where I can find the Betty White memorabilia shop. This needs to be a thing.
And in the “you can’t make this sh*t up” category, just down the road from us is a liquor store whose name is G. Will.
G. Will Liquors.
Say it aloud, you’ll get it.
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Haha! I DID have to say it out-loud before I got it. Pretty clever.
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There is a hair salon called “Curl Up and Dye” in Detroit. I think they skipped the BBQ though.
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Pity. They’re missing a great cross-marketing opportunity.
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I always liked “Shear-Lock Combs” and “Lawn Order”
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tee hee! Both worthy offerings. Makes you want to have a business just to make up a fun name, eh?
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These are great Peg! I know some real shop pun names but I’m darned if I can think of them right now! Oh wait…no…yes! There is a window shop in England called Pane in the Glass, ha!
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haha! Good one, England. Any mustache-bleaching services there, called Stiff Upper Lip?
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Ha! So funny!
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Thanks!
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Shouldn’t you be in London, Peg, the second royal baby is due!
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Dang! You’re right. How can this news truly be told without me, the ace, on-the-scene reporter? Got a spare jet and some $$ to send me so I can do that?
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Sorry, the spare jet is busy with getting me some clean pants my size … might be free too late. And $$? ME? I live in €-land.
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I’ll take those, too. I’m not particular when it comes to money.
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But those € won’t be of any use in the UK!
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I would like to see a Vietnamese restaurant called “What The Pho?”
(I don’t know how to make the squiggly question mark thing over the o)
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I didn’t even know how to pronounce that word, with or without the squiggly question mark thing. Puns are tough in another language, aren’t they?
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Pho is actually pronounced “fuh” which makes Byronic’s comment all the more Byronic.
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No “Pho King Way”?
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That’s their Friday night special.
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I kind of figured that or else it wouldn’t be very funny.
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Having mispronounced “pho” for years, I wanted to save others the embarrassment.
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Yeah, but that’s part of what I like about it. Looks meaningless, then gets funny.
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How about a Pho and barbecue joint…Pho ‘Cue
Okay….I’m done now.
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Snort, snort, snort. I’d go there just to get people to say the name.
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Me, too!!!
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A couple of real Punny business names in my area:
Hernia Movers: yup – they move furniture.
3 Guys & a Truck: Another moving outfit – I’m sensing a trend, here…
We also have a cigar bar called Nice Ash…I love this place 😀
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Hernia movers??? I would want to avoid that place for fear they’d sue me.
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There’s a salon in my town called “The Split End”. Can you imagine ever choosing to take your mane to a place with that name???
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Yikes! But it beats Lice, Lice Baby
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I couldn’t believe it, so I went online to see if it was actually a Spanish word meaning something like “Beautiful and shiny”. But no…
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There’s a store called “Sew What!” near where I live……..I imagine a bunch of sassy knitters hang out there…….
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My quilting business is called “Sew Special.” Sew there! 🙂
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Or a place that specializes in knitting classes for men – Sews Your Old Man.
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Your mind works in mysterious ways… 😉
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Or a soda and knitting store called Sewda? Soap and sewing…Sewp? Sorry, those ideas are sew-sew……
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No, no, I can see lots of people being interested in both soap AND sewing at the same time. You could also sell soup there. Bet the Small Business Admin would jump right on a loan application to open Sewp.
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We have a group of older ladies who knit hats for the hatless – they call the group the Knit Wits.
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Love it. Hats off to them.
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Lol I do believe I’ve come across some of these silly named stores in my travels
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No way – they’re all original, I’m sure. 😉
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Curl Up and Dye was the hair salon in The Blues Brothers. I remember because I stupidly watched that movie shortly after having abdominal surgery and was afraid my guts would fall out if I laughed. I saw the sign in Carrie Fisher’s beauty parlor and nearly did bust a gut …
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OUch! You give new meaning to the phrase, “It only hurts when I laugh.” I forgot that part of that movie -what a classic.
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I only remember it because I was trying so hard not to laugh that i couldn’t stop laughing! Ouch is right!
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Numbers 5 and 26 Peg were exceptional. :O)
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Surprising how few cocaine dealers even HAVE signs at their places of business, though.
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Imagine how their business would do if only they’d promote! ;o)
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Can’t stop laughing about the “up periscope.” If that’s already taken, then “know butts about it” might still be available.
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Bwahaha! Why don’t doctors have a better sense of humor about this sort of thing? They’re always all serious about it just because it’s a matter of life and death. Oh.
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I remember these – so clever. Too bad you can’t make some money selling the rights to these pun-tastic names!
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Hey, great idea! I’m off to register the domain names for all of these. (as if I would know how to do THAT.)
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This is alight stuff, even if you did plagiarize the name of my Shakespearean theatre for dogs. (I have a new dream now.)
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I don’t know why somebody hasn’t gotten on that brilliant idea by now. let me know when you have the first show: The Taming Of The Shoe: One Puppy’s Journey
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Tree services are as guilty as hair salons: A cut above, Out on a limb, Top notch.
As a tree trimmer I notice, and am annoyed by these.
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Annoyed? You gotta go with the flow: Blunder Tree Service: Leaf the cutting to us.
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There is a veterinarian near here who bills himself as “The Ace of Spays”.
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Ha! I like that one.
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If you can’t make jokes about neutering man’s (supposedly) best friend, then you might not have a sense of humor at all.
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And dogs are one of the last group it’s acceptable to make fun of because, you know, they don’t usually get the jokes.
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Nothing like getting your ‘nads snipped off to take the ha ha out of things.
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I can only imagine.
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I like The Joint for chiropractic work and Boulder Baked for weed. Real names….
I bet you had fun with this!
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The punny-named smoke shops must be growing like weed where you are. There used to be a chiropractor in town here named Dr. Kneebone. Some people’s destiny is chosen for them, eh?
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I love puns! But i hate it when people use a pun and then wink at you and ask ‘You get it? You get it?!’ (I’m somewhat of a grump, except when I’m not.)
And might I say those are some rad dresses you’ve put on ’em ladies!
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Guilty as charged of the wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
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I once stopped at the All American Chinese Steak House. It had something for everyone (except good food).
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Ha! They’re just responding to the ugly American stereotype that, wherever we go, we get annoyed if we can’t get “regular” food.
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These are all brilliant but I especially love the Betty White one because I really, really want to go there. Just down the road from me (I live surrounded by farms) is Laughing Stock Farm. My town also has businesses called Sumthin’s Fishy and Hair’s To You. I’m not sure which one served seafood to be honest with you.
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Hairs To You would be a brilliant name for a seafood restaurant. Really. I think that hairy fish is very prized in Tokyo.
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Number 18 is right up my alley! 🙂
There is a Chinese restaurant in my neighborhood called Wok Right In. 😛
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Must not be first generation Chinese to come up with that groaner, right?
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I get a haircut about once a year. Throw in a BBQ buffet and I’ll be there once a week.
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Oh Peg, these are PERFECT! I’m always impressed when I see a clever name of a business and think, why didn’t I think of that? You need to be a consultant to businesses of all types. Thanks for the laugh. 🙂
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Personally, I only allow Mr Bruce at Tortoise and Hair to touch me!
He also makes a splendid Martini, which he gives me free!
(He is a bit pricey, though, so be aware he’s not for you plebs.)
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Mr. Bruce has been bought out. Sob. The new owner is changing the salon’s name to: Hair Today Gone Tomorrow. Sob. No more martinis.
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Sounds like you will have to BYO from now on. Those cheap-os.
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You have no idea how much I loved this. Best business name I’ve seen is a dentist: The Decay Slayer. It’s not even a pun, but I want to drive the three hours it would take to be their patient. You just know they’re not going to be stingy with the gas at a place like that.
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Perfect! Wonder if the staff all wear ninja outfits and carry swords?
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One can only hope…
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All perfect, you are far to creative. I think you might be in the wrong business.
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Think pun name creation is a real job? If so, I’m getting right on it.
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I was thinking advertising actually
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Shear Madness, we curl up and die for you! 🙂
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All this hilarity in one spot….overload. Punny overload.
Really enjoyed all the fun, thanks
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We have a place near us called ‘Tipsy Nails.’ My 8-year-old asked me driving by it one day, “Why would anyone want a drunk person painting her nails?” She makes a valid point.
Of course, I joking go into my slurring drunk routine to crack my kids up. Cover one eye with a hand and squinting through the other, pretending to hold a paintbrush steady, “Whuuud ya like PINK ooooor, maybe, the *hick* salmon color…”
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Just as long as they know it’s not that funny for reelz, eh?
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