Peg-o-Leg: real writer or jackass?
It was a busy week around here. The last 7 days brought good news, good times, and lots of stepping out…out of my comfort zone.
Good News: I was excited and humbled that my last post, Why I Would Rather Try To Find The Funny Than The Meaning Of Life, was chosen to be Freshly Pressed in the Humor category this past weekend.
Welcome to any new readers – pull up a tuffet and sit down. Old readers, please help the new readers. (By old I mean “already subscribing” as opposed to “newly subscribing”. Of course I don’t actually mean “old.” Have I mentioned lately how young you’re looking?) Show the newbies around and explain our customs; things like how they’re expected to provide sycophantic flattery and monetary tribute to the host blogger, how they have to wear zebra-stripe underwear on Wednesdays – you know, the usual stuff.
New News: I am now techno hip and groovy in a far-out, happening way. I somehow set up both a Twitter account and a Facebook page, linked them to the blog and slapped something up on each one! At least I think I did. I can’t really figure out how Twitter works, when you use the @ instead of the #, how to hook it to Facebook and how you’re supposed to follow, like and retweet 5 bazillion bits of information and funny pictures of cats every hour, round the clock.
One thing I have figured out after just a couple of days, however, is that this stuff could totally suck all the time out of your world. Humongous, Super-Hoover time sucker. I can see myself being so occupied with this I will have no time for real life trivialities, like working at the job that actually pays my bills. To paraphrase Flounder, Oh boy, is this gonna be great!
You can join or subscribe or whatever they call it to my Twitter and Facebook stuff at the bottom of the right hand column.
New News About The News: I lead a double life. Writing is very important to me, but few people in real life know anything about it. That’s because I’ve confined most of my efforts to this blog, and nonbloggers have no idea what it is all about. Most of you probably know what I mean. When you try to relate a blogging anecdote to real-life people, you’re met with a look of mild puzzlement that quickly morphs into near-comatose boredom. All that is going to change, because blog life and real life are about to collide.
I’m turning pro.
Pro may be too strong a term; perhaps gifted amateur. Anyway, this week I signed a contract to write a column for the local paper.
It may not be the New York Times – this ain’t exactly a metropolis – but I’m excited. I will be doing a monthly column with my own picture, byline and everything. I imagine it will be a lot like this blog. I said I envisioned an Erma Bombeck type column, and the editor’s response was, “Ego trip much? Pul-leeeeeze.” I am REALLY going to have to watch what I say. It won’t be enough to change the names to protect the innocent, because this will be read by people I know.
Gulp.
That’s the part that makes me just a teeny bit nervous, as in terrified to the point of puking. These people know me. They see me, and have seen me for years, as a mild-mannered insurance agent. Now I’m going to be showing them my thoughts, practically stripping my soul naked and strutting it down to the Piggly Wiggly on a Saturday morning. They can read, judge, and criticize me everywhere I go. What if they don’t like my words?
But I am determined to force myself out of my comfort zone because that’s the only way to progress as a writer. That is what I want to be. Like Pinocchio yearning to be a REAL boy, I’ve yearned to be a real writer. To me, that’s someone who gets paid for their work. I somehow conned the paper into paying me for this gig. It’s not a fortune, but I will be getting real, cash money for the words that come out of my brain. I will be a real writer at long last.
With blogging, Twitter, Facebook and print journalism under my belt, a book deal and screenplay are sure to be right around the corner. All I have to do is write me a couple of those things. Then nothing can stop me.
Total world domination is in my grasp. Bwaahahahaha. BWA-HA-HA-HA!
Just as long as I can keep from throwing up.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
And well-deserved all! I read your “Laugh” post when somebody else reblogged it and forgot to tell you how wonderful I thought it was. Great news about the newspaper gig. You are going to rock it, I’m sure. And big no to the zebra underwear (new readers, she can’t really tell, you know!)
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Hey! No fair giving away blog secrets like that. 😦
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Peg, I would totally wear zebra-underwear – but they do not do it in my size … sorry …
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I got mine from skinning a zebra. Not something I’m proud of.
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Not even zebras do it in my size, unless you want me to bring them to the brink of extinction …
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Peg – this is so freaking AWSOME! I am so happy for you!
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Thanks, Jane. I’m stoked! Now all I have to do is deliver something awesome. That’s all. Yup.
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Congratulations!! I have a gig with my local newspaper, and it’s a nice opportunity to stretch writing muscles and share talents. You have more guts than I do – I’ve harbored Erma Bombeck-like dreams for years, but never brought it up to my editor. Maybe next week…(Will mentioning Erma date me??) See you at “The Pig”… 🙂
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I have written some pieces for them, and had some nice feedback. A couple of months ago I screwed up my courage and suggested a regular column. I didn’t hear from the editor so I thought the answer was no…until they called last week! So this is the week for YOU to “just do it.” Go, go, go!
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It’s the laughter that keeps us young (and you are so much cheaper than face creams…wait, not that you are cheap.. your writing is priceless…so I can afford it)
Yes, money – any amount no matter how small or irregular – makes the world see you as a writer.
A column is so cool – Emma Bombeck watch out. You’ve got the style and if there’s a Piggly Wiggly there, you’re set for content. (No people are not running when they see you come in the doors…they are just in a hurry….)
Congrats…and we’ll be waiting to applaud brilliance…sort of patiently…no pressure…(snort)
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Aw, thanks Phil. That’s a good point, though. People might start running when they see me for fear of ending up the butt of a column. Hmmm.
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Let the foot race begin!
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Congrats on your success!
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Thanks so much!
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Congratulations!
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Whoop whoop!
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FELICIDADES PEG!!! So much excitement at once! It’s a wonder you are not puking 24/7. I just puked a little for you! I know what you mean about this social media stuff sucking real life right outta you! It’s a full-time job and my family is so done with my blogging stories. 🙂 I have forced my husband to meet two blogging buddies that were in town so at least he believes bloggers are real but he still does not get it.
How exciting to write for the paper as a columnist! You are going to be great. I have submitted numerous articles to my local paper and they have been published. I have a good relationship with the editor and I should learn from you and pursue a gig. The wonderful thing about writing in your town is that people really do love it. I can’t tell you how many people stop me in the streets (who know me) to tell me how much they enjoyed my piece. I remember getting phone calls from people after I published a story about college searching with kids. I even had a State Representative write me a note telling me how much they enjoyed another piece I did. So what I am trying to tell you is that PEOPLE in your town will LOVE your work and will make sure they let you know. It’s a great feeling. 🙂 Now, if only I could get paid for my words. LOL.
Glad you are on Twitter too, I look forward to your 140 character tweets. 🙂
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“at least he believes that bloggers are real.” Haha! So true.
Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice. Getting notes from your state rep? That’s major! I just hope the notes I get from the government aren’t Cease & Desist orders.
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Whoop whoop! How fantastic! Well done, and well deserved, and you can tell them I said so.
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I will. If anybody dares to criticize, I’ll tell them that VJ said I was OK.
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Congratulations! Now the people that know you, are REALLY gonna know you 😛
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Thanks so much. That’s what I’m afraid of.
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Congrats to you!!!…I’m sure you will do just fine I would even bet money on it ..lol..doing the happy dance for ya…lol
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Wow…don’t think I’ve ever had anyone do a happy dance FOR me. Thanks for saving me from burning all those calories myself.
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well then it is a first for you..lol..oh not a problem at all i love to at least try and dance or that is what i call it…lol..anytime i can help u out “of dancing” just call on me…
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Congratulations, Peg. It is well deserved. You are one of the best on Word Press. It’s not just everyone for whom I wear zebra undies!
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That’s not what I heard, Elyse…
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I show everybody else the granny panties.
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TMI Elyse.
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Congratulations on the newspaper column! That’s wonderful!! I have no doubt you’ll be great at it. Your posts are well-written, humorous and yet meaningful, too–not always an easy feat to pull off. You should have plenty of material to draw from your blog if needed, but with life as crazy as it is, I’m sure you’ll have no shortage of topics to explore. Congrats on the Freshly Pressed, too!
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Thanks so much, Carrie. Notice how I casually promised to pop out a book or two in my spare time? Yeah, right. I’m in awe of published book authors like you. Gives me something to shoot for, eh?
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You’ll get there. Probably before my next one even sees the light of day. 🙂
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Woot woot! Congrats Pegshakespear! No one deserves it more. Be sure to give me a tiny shout out in the back of your upcoming bestseller “Bloggers & Tiaras: The Untold Story”
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Um sorry fir typos but im typing this on my tiny iphone with my giant sausage thumbs and im also blind as a bat….
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Would you be interested in the proofreader job for my someday-to-be-written best-seller?
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Liked, followed, created Peg shrine in the closet under the stairs.
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Boy I like the sound of that, Emily. Adding “under stairs shrine” to list of reader requirements.
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Congrats on your new gig! You’ll have to have a “coming out” Par~Tay! Barbara can bring Mint Juleps and I’ll bring Sippets!
P.S. Stop bossing the newbies around! We can wear zebra print undies EVERY day if we want, not just on Wednesdays.
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No, no, no. Wednesdays are zebra print. Monday is boxers, Tuesday is thongs….
I’m looking forward to when the adult beverages arrive.
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Perfect! I only wear zebra print boxers and thongs!
BTW: You’re timing for becoming Emperor-For-Life-Of-The-World is impeccable since I recently retired as Master and Commander of the Universe. 😎
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I thought of applying for that position but Emperor-for-Life comes with a better dental plan.
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I second the zebra panties, and the party, especially when combined.
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Zebra panties ARE a party.
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no doubt, party in our panties!
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I am envious.
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Tell you what. Once I appoint myself Emperor-For-Life-Of-The-World, you are getting a cabinet post for sure. What sounds interesting?
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Inner affairs – everyone always says nobody should meddle with one’s inner affairs. Inner Affairs of the World would just suit me right.
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Du bis richtig.
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I have been writing a weekly column since 1998 for our local paper (and yes I do get paid) and you are going to love it–the people who are not going to love it are your family–whom you will use with abandon when the muse is on vacation–good luck and happy writing–
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Weekly? Yipes! I’m already wondering how I’ll ever have enough material for monthly. Hats off to you!
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you will–I really enjoy reading you and your sense of humour is beyond the pale
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“beyond the pale” – love this!
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Oh wonderful! You are going to make a great columnist! Exciting news. Congrats!
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I sure hope so, Ms. Mom. We’ll reserve judgement for about, say, 3 weeks.
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I’m waiting for your book deal. I think we all are.
Because…Peg? Most fascinating woman of any year.
*nods head while toasting with her martini*
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I like the cut of your jib. Doesn’t that sound spiffy? I keep telling my husband I’m like the female version of that dude in the Dos Equis commercial, and he says “you’re blocking the TV.”
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Congrats! As a new reader can I wear my mummy onsie instead of the zebra underwear 😉
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Weeeeelllllllll. Just you. And just this once.
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Soo exciting! If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough… or something like that 🙂 you’ll be fine!
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Hey, that’s really profound. Can I steal it?
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Sure why not! So long as you dont tell the person I stole it from 😉 I’m sure you’ll be fine, but failing that.. Just stroke the furry wall
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Congratulations on your paid writing gig. I know you will be successful! I look forward with relish to your next posts, and someday hope to be both freshly pressed and published in the local paper. Good on you.
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Thanks so much. I’m nervous, but also excited. Keep trying and your dreams are sure to come true! (channeling my inner Disney princess.)
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Congratulations! Check box one on “World Domination” list! I can’t do Zebra Undies Wednesday, but will try to remember to wear either black or white on Wednesday, you know, in support of the stripes on said zebras.
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All I ask is that you try your very best. And send money. And over-the-top compliments. THat’s all I ask.
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Peg, that’s all wonderful news! Congratulations at least 3 times. Don’t worry about the writing gig, you will be brilliant. The first one will be the most stressful and then you will see that everyone loves your stuff and you will be able to relax and enjoy it.
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Thanks for the kind words. I’m getting my wig and sunglasses ready for after the first column runs, just in case.
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Wow, congratulations! You’re going to the Show, Peg-o-Leg! You’re going to the show! That will make sense if you liked Bull Durham. Otherwise, just forget I said anything. You totally deserve to be going to the Show, though, just for the record.
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Need to brush up on my Bull Durham. Thanks…I think? 😉
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It means you are going to the majors, baby. You are on your way. It’s exciting.
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More like AA ball, but you gotta start somewhere, eh?
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What a brilliant step! Pressed one day, international author the next. Nice. As a newbie to these shores, I have to say I’m looking forward to zebra undies as a new wardrobe delight. As well as to horrifying the neighbours when they go on the line. Thanks!
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Welcome! I predict the neighbors will thank you – just a hunch.
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But that is the thing about those thingies – since zebrastripes are a kind of camouflage, your neighbours are unlikely to see them!
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Or it might just inspire a new suburban trend…
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Now THAT’s a neighborhood I’d like to live in.
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CONGRATULATIONS!!!
That is a lot of good news. Funny how life balances out.
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So true, Susie. Life is basically weird.
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Reblogged this on Brandine X and commented:
…. 
:-O 🙂
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AGAIN with the FreshPressed? *Sigh* Think of us muggles in the trenches once in a while.
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You’re not a muggle – you’ve got the magic coming out your toes!
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Getting paid will be nice! Having an endless supply of material to write about (writing) – priceless.
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That’s the part I’m a little worried about. Sometimes the brilliant idea well is absolutely dry – you know how it is.
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Most times I just settle for a less-than-totally-moronic idea.
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Set the bar low, eh? I like the way you think.
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Rarely disappointed, often over-achieving.
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Oops. You mean it’s Wednesday already??? I’m wearing Tuesday Tiger Stripe. Thanks for the welcome to your blog. Great news at getting your words in real life print!!
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Hope this panty kerfuffle was just a mix up in days instead of a two-day run…
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This is good 🙂
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Congratulations! Sounds like a lot to celebrate. Appreciate the doubt, but if you’re going for world domination humor is definitely the way to do it!
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Yeah, I figure the cruel authoritarian dictator route to world domination has already been done to death so I’ll try humor.
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Congrats to Peg o’ my heart! So happy for you and know you will knock it out of the park. Can’t wait to see the column.
The hell with the zebra stripe undies….I’ll be wearing just my Tarzan loincloth in your honor! Bwahahahaha!!
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Hmmm…..quite the visual, Tarzan!
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Eat your heart out, Johnny Weissmuller!
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Eat your heart out, Cheetah.
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Damn, Peg. Damn! You just get better and better, and more accomplished, by the day.
I’m looking forward to one-helluva zebra-panty wearing, margaritas-swilling party, funded by the moolah you’re going to rake in on your own column. So proud of you!
Erma is channeling all kinds of humorous, prose-filled energy your way. Congrats!!! 🙂
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Miss Guitar, you are a sweet, doll of a big sister and I take back all the mean things I was grumbling under my breath back when you were hogging all the covers in bed.
Margaritas and zebra-panties for EVERYone!
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Um, that was YOU hogging all the covers way back when the parental units thought it would be a good idea for two kids to share one bed. Not! But, I forgive you 🙂
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As if…
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What terrific news about the newspaper column. Way to go! Will you be able to link to the articles?
PS — I completely support your efforts at total world domination and I would like to provide assistance by forwarding cute photos of Reggie on your Twitter feed. Yes, I’m sure that will help.
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I’m sure that a few adorable Reggie pictures are all I need to make it to the top!
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Hurrah!!! And Congratulations! Well deserved – but I do wish it were me! 🙂
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😉
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You go girl! But as for being a writer. Why, Peg….you’ve always been a writer. Now…you’re getting paid for it. Congratulations. Well, deserved I’ll be looking forward to hints from you on how to handle Twitter. I gave up on my feed long ago due to the time suck (almost the same with Facebook). I can’t wait to hear about your first by-line. May your words never run dry. Barb.
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Thanks Barb. I can see what you mean about Twitter. Fun, but I have to be wary of the time-suck possibilities.
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Congrats!!!!!!!
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Thanks, kiddo. Just got back from dinner d somebody stopped by our table to say how much she likes my column. Somebody I DON’T KNOW for first time ever.
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You go Peg, newspaper column and everything. This is reason to be happy. Freshly Pressed too, even better.
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Thanks Val. It was a week of ups and downs. Life is bizarre, ain’t it?
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It surely can be Peg, it surely can be.
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GREAT news, Peg!!! I am so excited for you! It’s about time them-there folks figured out your wonderful talent!
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Yeah, I keep telling them and telling them…
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Pingback: What Snew | Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings
I missed this post. How exciting! Congratulations! All kinds of things that need to be followed by exclamation points!!!
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Peg, we, the old readers, have been silently judging you for years. (that’s what people do when they’re old). Anyway, this, unbeknownst to you, would have most likely already generated a thick skin on you immune to further judging and criticism.
This think skin will also be useful because as someone who is about to dominate the world, you should be prepared to deal with criticism – and deal with it swiftly and ruthlessly.
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Words of wisdom. Commencing with the skin-toughening as my next step, since my goal of having a multimillion dollar publishing contract fall into my lap is proving to be surprisingly elusive.
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