I kinda/sorta put up my Christmas tree the other day. The joyous experience of decorating(ish) brought to mind this soon-to-be classic children’s story.
Gather round, boys and girls, and listen to…
Little Red Hen’s Christmas Story
- Little Red Peg taking care of Christmas business.
Once upon a time, Little Red Hen lived in a cozy little coop with her happy little family. It was Christmas time and she thought some decorations would add to their holiday joy.
So Little Red Hen bought some eggnog and cookies, got her favorite Bing Crosby Christmas CD a-playin’ and settled in for some holiday memory-making.
“Who will help me set up the tree?” she asked.
“Not I”, said the rooster.
“Not I”, said the first chickee.
“Not I”, said the second chickee.
“Then I will do it myself,” said Little Red Hen. And so she did.
Amidst a considerable amount of swearing. Little Red Hen developed tree burns and little cuts on her wings from wrestling the 9-foot tall, artificial tree out the box, putting it all together and fluffing the scratchy branches.
“Who will help me put all the lights on the tree?” she asked.
“Not I”, said the rooster.
“Not I”, said the first chickee.
“Not I”, said the second chickee.
“Then I will do it myself,” said Little Red Hen. And so she did.
With nobody to hand the strings of lights to, she was up and down the ladder at least 26 times. All the lights worked when she tested them, but half of the strands went out as soon as they were all plugged together.
“Who will help me put all the ornaments on the tree?” she asked.
“Not I” said the rooster.
“Not I”, said the first chickee.
“Not I”, said the second chickee.
“If you think I’m doing any more decorating without any help from you selfish, lazy slobs” said Little Red Hen, “you’re crazy!” She burst into tears and took off for the mall with a squeal of tires.
The rooster and the 2 little chickees turned off the Bing Crosby CD and finished off all the cookies and eggnog while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
And the half-decorated tree and 3 big boxes full of ornaments are still sitting in the middle of the living room floor to this very day.
The End.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Ahhh, a holiday classic. Sounds about right. Add to that the lights working and then going out completely 4 more times, and you’ve got MY holiday classic. Just buy some more egg nog and spike the heck out of it. Everything will be glowing in no time after drinking all of that! Fa la la!!
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I like the way you think, Misty. Guess I know one girl who’s on Santa’s Naughty List this year, hmmm? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
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Little Red Peg. 🙂 This is the tradition now, right?
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It is DEFINITELY the tradition around my place. How ’bout you?
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I’m missing a couple of chickees, just me and the rooster. 🙂
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Me too. The chickees have flown the coop, sigh.
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I’d write a loooong comment about the beauty and universal truth of this, but just too busy rolling on the floor with laughter (among the yet to be dealt with remaining ornaments)
Expect to see this in an illustrated version in stores soon (to be bought by so many and waved in front of so many noses only to see puzzled looks in return)
(Note 90% of the outdoor lights are still in the box here. Done.)
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Here’s a handy hint about those outdoor lights. I have mine up all year round. You feel like a hillbilly for the first few months of the year, but they look great for cookouts in the summer and it’s a wonderful surprise when the snow starts to fly in December and you look out on the deck and remember – hey, I already have the lights ready to go!
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Hey white lights can work for any occasion…home owners’ association didn’t buy that either. The blob of lights on the yard is looking more and more a viable option
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Ah. A classic. The boys got really excited to decorate our tree… for about 2 1/2 minutes.
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I bet your little guy put 20 ornaments just in one square foot of real estate on the bottom – good times, good times.
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I thought that was you I saw screeching into the mall parking lot.
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You should have seen me screeching OUT of the mall parking lot…on the way to the liquor store. My holiday spirits were definitely improving then.
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Maybe you should skip the whole Christmas thing this year, for the safety and sanity of everyone.
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That’s how it is for me when it comes cookie-making time. My family clears the kitchen faster than you can say ‘baking sheet’ when I ask for help. Oddly enough, they pop right back in when the first batch comes out of the oven.
But as far as decorating the tree goes, I’m lucky. It’s kind of become a tradition that my husband gets the tree with the boys; he strings the lights up; and then they decorate it. Even as teenagers they’re still decorating the tree themselves. It isn’t necessarily pretty, full of mismatched ornaments we’ve collected over the years (we buy one new one each year). We’ve got Elmo from toddler years, Yoda, superheroes, etc. But as long as they’re decorating, I ain’t a-complainin’!
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That’s the spirit, Carrie. My sister’s middle boy is still the driving force behind the decorating at her house, even at the ripe old age of 25. Some people just really get into it.
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I love this story and pulled it out on my family as I was stringing the lights…MY job, it seems on the empty nester’s tree as they smugly ask “Are you sure you don’t want us to get you a pre-lit artificial tree?” NO! This girl wants a real tree…evergreen scent, allergies and all.
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Nothing compares to a real tree!
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You’re so right! I swore I would always have a real tree. Then came the 9=foot artificial, then the 4 foot….I’m just a couple of years away from hanging a candy cane on the doorknob and calling it decoration. Save my Christmas spirit!
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My grandma would just agree with you – but I love myself the scent and the fir needles, which I find in my appartement till Easter – at least – I could swear I have seen one just last week from last year’s tree 😉
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Your tree is just reseeding itself to sprout next year’s tree.
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You mean – I need not bother to buy a new one this year? *eyes wide open hopefully, looking around to see the miracle happen*
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I’m with you Peg. A candy cane on the doornob and spirits in the nog. Perfect! And coincidentally I have 3 boxes of decorations out, too.
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Oh little red hen, I need you! The realtor announced yesterday (and I immediately thought of little red hen) he wants to hold an Open House on Saturday, December 21…say what?…just days before Christmas? I’m in a panic frenzy. What about the cards? the baking? the shopping? Oh help, little red peg, help!
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What???? Does he expect anybody to go house shopping when they have Christmas shopping to do? Tell you what…skip the cards, buy the cookies and give gift cards to everybody. You’re welcome.
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Such a good classic story. I should have sent my kiddos over to your house to help you this year. They did the entire tree themselves while I sat on the couch napping. Of course, I woke up to find all the ornaments in one small section and most of the candy canes either broken or missing….but hey, it’s done anyway.
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THose were such fun days! Maybe if I hadn’t micromanaged the kids decorating efforts and redistributed the ornaments they put in the same 6 inch patch of real estate, they would have been more enthusiastic as teenagers.
Send your kids over – I still have some stale candy canes from last year they can eat.
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Too funny, as usual, Peg! You need to be a singe gal like myself… happily decorating with no one in sight to frustrate me as I put my tree together, to my specifications. 🙂 Who says being single doesn’t have its benefits!!
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I know, you get so much joy out of the process, Lib. I envy that. I want it done but I grumble at the process. And poor Carolyn, just talked to her, and she has no tree up at all! She said she’s converting to Judaism for the next few weeks so she can toss a menorah in the window and call it good.
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I have a 3′ tree already lighted and decorated which stays that way until I bring it down to get some semblance of Christmas spirit going. It sits on the bay window ledge perfectly. Then I put up my nativity scene with a 2′ gold lighted tree on the buffet. That’s as far as I’ve gotten this year and probably will be all unless I can get my snow globes down to display.
And me, the early card sender, hasn’t gotten them out yet. Tomorrow they will be finished come snow or high drifts.
Off to BC to visit with Jimbo and family. Hugs!
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Don’t think you have to send one to me, cuz I won’t be sending one in return. That ship has sailed for me.
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THIS Little Red Hen is only making one batch of sugar cookies, on Christmas Eve, for Santa. I have vetoed EVER making 1,000 (literally) different kinds of cookies to give away and/or make my family fatter like I have done in years past.
And, now, I’m the Family Scrooge …
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It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta be Scrooge. Bah humbug.
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baaah
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There must be something wrong with me ’cause I miss those days. Just me and my partner sort of throw stuff together as fast as possible.
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I DO miss the days when the kids were little and really into it. Then we went to the teenage apathy, and now we are into the no kids around so it’s just us apathy. Sigh.
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Such a timeless tale, Peg.
(“Fluffing” the tree is THE WORST. I WOULD RATHER POKE MY EYE OUT WITH A RED RYDER BB GUN.)
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Why are those fake tree branches so darn scratchy???? Must be the asbestos coating they use on the made=in=China Wal-Mart trees.
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🙂 Funny stuff! Every year we do less, and less. We are now down to a 2 foot tree with blue lights, no ornaments. It’s kind of sad looking, but almost zero effort is involved, so I LOVE IT!
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I know. I’ve been giving your mom grief for years about not decorating, but I told her this morning i had to apologize. The 2-foot-fully-decorated-under-a-dry-cleaner-bag-in-the-attic tree is right around the corner for me.
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Kiefer wants to decorate this weekend since we have Boo and Radley…and since they could care less, this is almost exactly how the weekend will go. Except he’ll just keep decorating and complaining the whole time.
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“keep decorating and complaining the whole time” is usually MY job. I have to do everything.
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Ah, I remember this well. Still funny but I’m wondering if little red hen ever came home from the “mall.”
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Not ’til her little credit cards were also in the red.
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Hoping the little red hen picked up coal at the mall to leave in all their ungrateful stockings. 🙂 Sometimes I used to buy egg nog and hide it just for me, Dark chocolate oranges too.
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Dark chocolate oranges sound yummy! I’m going to need to check into that.
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Little Red Peg is the story of the century! Maybe she should get a pre-decorated plastic tree,cover it with a sheet for New Year’s and bring it out again for Xmas Future. 🙂 LOL! And forget the lights.
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This story is soon to become a Christmas classic revered around the world. Roosters and Chickees just don’t seem to have that Christmas spirit until it comes to unwrapping the presents. I say coal for them all.
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Exactly! The Christmas spirit comes back full-force when there are presents involved, don’t they?
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Too funny! All my chickees are grown up with chickees of their own. I smile as I think of them attempting to marshall their troops into decorating trees and buying gifts…
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What goes around comes around, eh?
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Fairly accurate assessment of my household.
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What happened to the days when the kids LOVED to help? Sign.
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Hahahaha! This should be a Christmas Classic! You are crackin’ me up this morning Peg with your brilliant comedy!
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If I can crack you up, Susie, I consider my work done.
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Instant classic! This story will live on for generations, because it touches a deep chord within the hearts of all who read it. (At least the hens… roosters and chickees might not understand or appreciate the legend as much.) 🙂
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