I was rereading some of my posts the other day (as I often do when I’m supposed to be working on a big presentation or a tax return) and I came across one of my favorites. I remember how excited I was when I wrote it. My finger trembled as I hit “publish” because, false modesty aside, I knew it was one of the best things I’d ever written. I kept checking my stats page that morning, hoping…no, I’ll say it – expecting to see the sudden jump in hits that heralds a Freshly Pressed post.
But it never happened.
As I reread that post, alternately laughing out loud at my cleverness and stewing in my own bile at the no-FP injustice, it occurred to me that I’m probably not alone. I bet most bloggers have one post that had them thinking, “THIS One Should Have Been Freshly Pressed”
Welcome to a new feature on Peg-o-Leg’s Ramblings.
I’ve asked some of my blogging buddies to select their best, overlooked posts. I had to twist some arms to get them to admit they thought their stuff was worthy of the coveted FP because, while most of these people are way more talented than I, they’re also a lot more modest. I plan to run a post by a different blogger every Wednesday.
Be sure to check in each week to see some of the best material around the interwebz. Past entries can be found on the “THIS One…” page link at the top of this blog.
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Today’s offering is from Misty over at Misty’s Laws. I didn’t really have time to do more than skim her “About Me” page, but it seems she is an attorney with the Government’s Legal Exotic Dancer Squad (GLEDS), and her parents aren’t happy about it.
I’ve been visiting her blog for a while and I’ve got to say, I’m a bit disappointed. Oh, don’t get me wrong; the writing is great, the Weekly Whacked “gotcha” pictures of people letting it all hang out are hysterical and the bloggy camaraderie can’t be beat. It’s just that her avatar is “Mistyslaws” with no apostrophe. I originally went over to her place looking for a good recipe for cole slaw, and I have yet to see a single one. Kind of a bait and switch, if you ask me.
Me running Misty’s post today is just random chance and has absolutely nothing to to with the fact that it is her BIRTHDAY! You can wander over to her blog for cake and ice cream after you read:
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The Last Straw . . . to My Heart!
I have an admirer. I am being wooed on a daily basis. I see him almost every day and he gives me what I so desperately need. He satisfies my cravings and soothes the beast within. He gives me the ability to face the day. He provides me with the fix that I need before I can function every morning. He is . . . the drive-thru guy at my Dunkin Donuts.
Not only does he provide me with my much needed caffeine fix every morning on my way to work, but I think he may be a bit sweet on me. It started a few weeks ago. I always order the same thing. Since I go there every day, the woman who takes my order through the speaker tends to stop me before I even finish, saying “yeah, I got it,” because she knows what I am going say. It is the same thing I say each and every day. I am a regular. I am Norm.
In addition to getting the same thing every day, I also always ask for a big straw at the drive thru window. Since I usually order a small latte, if I don’t ask for a big straw, I will get a puny little straw. It is their policy to give out little straws with small drink purchases, apparently. So, if I want a large straw, I will have to ask. And so began our love affair . . . .
After a few days of me asking this particular drive-thru guy for a big straw for my drink, and him sheepishly saying, “oh, yeah, I forgot,” he apparently decided he would remedy this situation by giving me multiple big straws. He started giving me 2 at a time. Ok, I thought, it’s always good to have an extra 1 or 2 in the car I guess. That’s cool.
Then came the day when I knew he was truly smitten. He gave me my drink with a big straw. Then, as he returned my credit card to me, he handed me another straw. I told him that he had already given me a straw, and to this he replied: “this one’s for tomorrow.” Ok, I said, smiling. Then he grabbed another straw and handed it to me, saying: “this one’s for yesterday.” Laughing, I said thanks and then drove away, knowing that I had just experienced a moment. Possibly the one we would tell our grandkids about.
In the next few days of our encounters, he was sure to hand me multiple straws, sometimes 3, as many as even 4 at a time. Each straw a profession of his love to me. I mean, anyone can buy flowers for somebody they are sweet on, but multiple straws is a true sign of affection.
I don’t know his name. But what do names matter when it comes to true love? I am married. Who cares when the heart wants what it wants? I have children. I’m sure our strong bond over straws and coffee can weather any baggage we might bring to this new relationship.
I mean, after all, who can resist the beauty of this:
- A beautiful bouquet of Love
I will keep everyone informed of our future wedding plans. Although, I’m sure the one thing we won’t have to discuss is the bouquets. As you can tell, they are going to be spectacular.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Oh Peg….you are the beatest!! Thanks so much for this birthday treat. 🙂
And I promise to get to work on that slaw recipe….
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Um, yeah, that’s supposed to say “bestest.” We might be discovering a reason for my non-Pressedness.
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It’s like Michael said….
Just beatest, beatest,
No one wants to be defeated
Showin’ how funky strong is your fight
It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right
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I’ve been meaning to ask you the one detail that seems to have been lost in all the flirting…are you saying you drink hot coffee through a straw?
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It’s just the way I roll, Peg. I’m kind of a badass! 😉
(Iced latte, by the way).
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Oh, my word, this is wonderful! Peg, I’m never going to get through all the new blog subscriptions you’re making me set up!
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Thank you. 🙂
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That is hilarious! I love that you start your day with caffeine and a smile from an admirer!
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Thanks. It’s really the best way to start the day!
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Pingback: It’s My Birthday . . . So I’m Phoning It In | Misty's Laws
No offense, Misty (and a very happy birthday to you), but you and your reckless big straw habit are driving up the price of lattes for the rest of us!
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I know, and I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you . . . how ’bout a couple straws? 😉
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The big ones?
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Let’s not get crazy now . . .
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Too late.
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Woohoo Misty! It’s a brilliant piece of writing! I vote FP material for sure! 🙂
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Thank you!!
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Dunkin Donuts are huge pretty much everywhere in the country but here. It’s weird. I think I’ve been to one once, but I’m not even sure. It’s Oregon so we have to have our freaky, cool alternative donuts like “Voodoo Donuts” and “Glazed & Amused” (both real).
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Voodoo is totally on my list of places to visit should I ever make it out there. I have never heard of Glazed & Amused, though. Great name! So very P-town. 🙂
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This is a cute story, Misty. Isn’t it nice to have your own personal “Cheers”?
Happy birthday to you! May your FB wish come true!
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Thanks, Lenore!!
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This definitely should have been FP. I hope you guys continue with your straw love affair for a long time to come. I have a side thing going with the Burger King guy, he gives me three honey mustards instead of the standard two. I hate to break hearts, but it’ll never work between us. I’ve cheated on him with the McD’s dude.
Happy birthday!
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Oh no! You’re a condiment slut. 😉
Thanks, Darla!
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Throw in an extra napkin and I will leave my husband.
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Really, it’s the little things, yes? 😉
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It would be awkward for him to only give you one straw now. After so many days of extra straw-giving, getting only what you really need would feel like a slap in the face.
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He wouldn’t dare!
Although, I’m honestly not sure how many more extras I can fit into the glove box at this point . . .
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But clearly, your future lies in designing haute couture accessories (centerpieces, barrettes, jewelry, etc.) out of large straws. Problem solved!
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Hmmm, don’t give me any ideas. This is how Pinterest was born . . .
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Shouldda been.
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Thanks, Elyse.
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OMG that guy is totally in love. The heart wants what the heart wants. The tastebuds, brain chemistry and stomach, however, want the damned latte. Love In the Time of Caffeine… ahhhhh.
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Yes, unfortunately for him, that is where my true love lies . . . with the caffeine. But I know how to play along . . . anything for extra straws!! 😉
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Thank goodness for men with big straws! Soooo funny! Happy b’day Misty!
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Well, Renee . . . you would know. 😉
(Why do your comments always bring out the winky faces? Hmmm . . . ).
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You women will do anything to get your way. Taking advantage of this poor, smitten, overworked, underpaid innocent fellow. I’m sending this blog to the DD Facebook page in hopes that he will read it and end this charade. This is absolutely the last straw!
P.S. Happy birthday anyway.
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I see what you did there. Nicely done, my friend.
P.S. Thanks anyway.
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Maybe if it had been about Starbucks…
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Wait, are you telling me the WordPress people are from Seattle? Curses!! Foiled again.
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Just a guess…
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Reblogged this on Lokahi and commented:
One of the funniest takes on a moment many of us encounter. And so seriously written… which makes it all the better.
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Thanks so much!!
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really funny. You got things wrapped up for sure
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Thank you.
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It’s probably just as well that this piece didn”t get Freshly Pressed, as you would have been inundated with people telling you what a bad idea it is to fall in love with someone else when you’re already married, and environmental types squawking at you for wasting all that plastic on your silly love affair. As glorious as it is to be FP’ed, it exposes you to all sorts of knuckleheads, instead of your loyal readers, who “get” you.
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Well said, 1point, once again! I swear you’re reading my mind…
Fun flirtation, Ms Slaw or, er, Laws. Does the hubster read your blog?
Be vewwy carefull. You know what they say about playing with fire or straws, in this case! 🙂
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If you lived in my area, you’d need to speak Urdu to flirt with the DD guys.
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Huh?
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Dunkin Donuts in my part of the land are pretty much run by people from India. They don’t necessarily speak English as well as the folks on the phone at “Tech support”. If it’s not on the DD menu, you’re on your own… That may or may not include large straw vs. small straw.
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It’s not a bias on my part, just who runs what. To me, going into a Dunkin Donuts and not being greeted by a person of Indian descent would be like going into a Chinese restaurant and having a freckled red-head named “Kevin” working the wok.
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Tar – he doesn’t, but he knows all about my suitor. He doesn’t mind. I let him use some of my straws. 😉
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I guess you have a point there. But then again, I probably would like to experience it just once. I’m willing to take the chance of having that criticism.
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The funny thing is, when WP finally got around to Freshly Pressing me, they picked one which I thought was mediocre. Having them pick one which I wasn’t even that crazy about, kind of took some of the buzz away from it for me.
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I’ve heard that from others who have been FP’d. Luckily, all of my posts are completely and utterly brilliant, so should my time ever come, I will know that I truly deserve this overdue honor!!
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It must be nice….
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OK – now I’m with you. Dunkin Donuts is the DD. Duh on my part!
Yes, I know what you speak of – many franchises are owned by people from India, all across the country. They are the ones buying these businesses and running them.
Guess that’s another post…. 🙂
By the way, do you have to polish that dome of yours??? It gleams in the sunlight of your avatar.
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That’s an old pic – I’ve actually grown it in – I now look like a white version of Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Pulp Fiction, only without the good looks or Jeri-Curls or cool suit…maybe that was a bad analogy.
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Grown it in? Not a comb-over I hope. 🙂
If I could use the software to create fun things like my sister, Peg, does, I could try to convey the mental image I got from your reply, sans Jeri-Curls or not.
A bit of a hijack? What fun. My virgin experience. Tee hee.
The End.
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Knock yourself out! After all, any talk of hair growing on the top of my head is pure fiction. I did draw on a photo of my mug for my WordPress Xmas card.
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Here’s the link to old post where I did a sad imitation of the great Peg-ster with my laptop artwork.
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This is true love. I know you have a family, but honestly, what are they giving you? Flowers and giant stuffed animals and hugs and comfort? What is that to big straws and “This is for yesterday” (holy crap that’s cute)?
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I know, right? Who can resist that kind of wit? The hubs and kids never had a chance . . .
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This information would have been like GOLD about 10 years ago.
I would have been tempted to start offering women straws. Randomly.
Which might have been a BIT creepy. You know… without coffee. Which… they… also… hadn’t… ordered… from me.
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In lieu of straws, have you considered handing out hundred dollar bills? I can’t see anything going wrong with that . . .
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This certainly shoulda been. Cannot understand how some become FP and other brilliant pieces of writing, like this are overlooked. Will never understand it.
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This one is so sweet. Love that consumes! I will be smiling throughout the day.
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