My real-life Christmas Card.
Sorry about the tiny type – I REALLY have to figure out how to use Gimp or Photoshop or something better than the Paint program that came with this old computer. It’s on my to-do list. If you click on the picture it makes it just a little larger and easier to read.
This is also my entry in the “What the holidays really mean” Christmas card contest being run on both Go Jules Go and The Byronic Man’s blogs. Julie.Davidoski@yahoo.com and byronicmanblog@gmail.com. I could really use the sheets they’re giving away because it has been a tough year for us. We had to sell our sheets to earn money for our child’s liver transplant….which she needed after we sold her liver to earn money for Muscato…which we needed to drown our sorrows because it has been a tough year.
Not that I want the judges to let my abysmal life situation influence their decision – not at all. Nope.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Hey! No fair trying to play the sympathy vote AND on Jules’ love for any references to booze. Play fair, Peggles. Don’t make me get all ninja on ya.
And damnit . . . that “check out what’s in MY manger” gag gets me every time! Every. Damn. Time.
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I’ll do whatever it takes, Misty. I believe I’ve already made that perfectly clear.
The ‘ol brother-in-law needs some new material, don’t he?
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I think you had my vote at first sight of those glorious McD’s arches… the sad sacrificing of sheets to buy a kid and organ didn’t hurt either!
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Don’t you remember McD’s from the nativity story? “and yeah, forsooth, verify, a decree went out from Caesar Augustus and he spake thusly: “can I get that super-sized and to go?” “
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I’m with Tori on this one! I feel bad saying this, but you have my vote, Peg. 🙂
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Oh Pegglez. Yes, you get a “z” today. (You probably hate that, don’t you?)
This card is almost TOO real. And your poor, liverless child. You’re in it to win it, I see.
Well done!
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Jules, do I have to send a copy of this to you to be officially entered? I’d hate for some techno-type (like Misty) to demand I be disqualified for not following the rules.
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No way, Peggles! Putting up a post is one of the methods we suggested (thanks to B Man’s ability to think ahead)! I’m sure it won’t surprise you to hear I’m keeping a list of the entrants, and you’re tooootally added to it. I mean this literally.
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Thank you for reinforcing our guilt-ridden decision NOT to travel to grandma’s this year!
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You’re a bad child and you’ll rot in hell forever for that decision. But hey, no pressure, Lisa!
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Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t already know…
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One hump or two? Pretty card, Pegoleg. I missed the organ transplant news.
BTW, I see you have your Etsy shop listed on the side. Only thing, there’s no picture or link to click on – just in case you thought it was up. Maybe you’re still working on it.
On the plus side, I also see you are approximately 125 hits from your goal of 100,000. I think you can hit that before the new year. Way to go! 🙂
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I can’t figure out how to get the picture to post. I’ve wasted way too many valuable minutes today, minutes I DON”T HAVE, trying to figure it out. I gave up.
I didn’t want to worry the family about the liver thing. You know how I am.
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Is there anything worse than entering a contest and then having people submit entries that make your look pathetic? OK, maybe going without a liver is worse, but having a weak contest entry over-shadowed by everyone else has got to take second.
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Dave, I go through this self-wrestling with every contest. Do I throw in some lame entry just so my bloggy buddy doesn’t think I’m ignoring them, or bow-out because all I can come up with is something so, you know, lame?
I do think having a pathetic entry may be slightly worse than a bum liver, but that’s just me and my wretched ego.
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Well, shit. I mean, shazzam. I am frank-incensed at the brilliance of this card. I am just going to forget my own pathetic pretense at a funny entry now…and spend the rest of my holiday time drinking. Thanks, Peg. Soon I’ll be looking for a liver, myself.
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I’ll let you know if I come across one when I do my Christmas shopping this weekend.
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Well crap. Everyone knows I don’t know how to play with PhotoShop, and I’m not funny or ironic. And I’m not Byronic. But I want those sheets. Just because I won a few contests, I’m like…blacklisted from contests. Not fair.
Also, this is way cool.
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You SHOULD be blacklisted. You’ve got some magic, contest-winning mojo going on – not fair to the rest of us mere mortals.
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I demand a felted pin thing, dammit.
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Oh 4 gold stars and you got my vote! (and don’t you even think about selling that gold…..)
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Thanks – I need the gold to go with the frankincense and myrrh.
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I really like your use of symbolism in the card, also, your use of irony, juxtaposed with an unanswerable reflection of pre vs post-modernism. The modesty of the work does not make it any the less seminal and I was blown away by how your evocative layers take us through a journey of self-discovery leaving us breathless and questioning our very existence.
That was what you were going for right?
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You took the words right out of my mouth Vanessa.
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Ha! Well I was just stating the obvious really…
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Ummmm……YEAH! What she said!
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I just spewed my fermented goat milk all over my keyboard. Thanks for that, Pego. Your paint skillz are top-notch and I hope you have sweet dreams sleeping and drooling all over B-man’s face. I’m not jealz or anything. I do wonder why I’m putting Zs at the ends of all my wordz, though. I can’t even pretend to be hip at my age. Sigh.
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I think you are way hip for realz, in a far-out and happening way, cool cat! At least you’re not lamely trying to pretend you speak French, like SOME people do to try to impress. Le sigh.
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Well, Peg, you’ve finally done it. You’ve stooped as low as you can go. Selling organs for booze. Why not just advertise them on your etsy site? At least I know I’ll never lose my dignity to that point.
P.S. Just out of curiosity though, how much could one get for a kidney? You see, I have this friend…..
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Great idea, Al! I’ll just crochet some organ cozies to go along with the sale – wouldn’t a lung in a pink, mohair organ sling be just the perfect present?
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I was thinking more along the lines of spleen sweaters or bladder booties.
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Al, I think you were just my 100,000th visitor. I just watched the counter flip over. Whoo hoo hoo! Thanks for stopping by.
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I am truly honored!!
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Don’t make me turn this caravan around!
🙂
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Exactly! 🙂
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I’m a loyal Paint advocate too, but some things I had such trouble with that I tried the free Gimp software and searched a few tutorials online, used it a couple of times and it was a lot better not getting tendinitus as a result!
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I downloaded Gimp and figured out how to resize photos, a definite plus. But I spent hours trying to figure out how to layer words over the top and just couldn’t get it. Their online manual is pretty bad (ie technical).Maybe I should try to find the online tutorials – thanks!
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I’m responding to e-mails for my company this month, and – no kidding – we got one from someone asking for free Christmas stuff because she has MS. I’ve shared your story with her – she has two healthy kids, maybe one of them can help you out with that liver thingy.
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Isn’t what this season is all about? Those who have (MS) giving to those who have not (a liver…or a clue). Kinda brings a tear to the eye, doesn’t it?
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I always enjoy a good, old-fashioned Paint-edited photo. Seriously. It reminds me of the good old days.
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