Mom & Dad in a happier time.
Dear Mom & Dad,
We need to talk. Parents are supposed to love all their kids equally, but it’s obvious you care more for some of your other states than you do for me. It’s breaking my heart.
I know for a fact you visit Wisconsin all the time because I see your car in the driveway. Same for Iowa. I live right next-door, for goodness sake, but do you stop by? No! It’s as if I’m dead to you.
Before you say it’s all in my head, let me tell you us kids have been talking and I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Poor West Virginia said she’s got tread marks on her scalp from you running over her in your zeal to get to your precious, widdle Ohio-pookums. How do you think that makes us feel?
I haven’t seen either of you in months. You don’t write, you don’t call, you haven’t bought one, single mud-slinging campaign ad on my local channels. You don’t care what I think and that hurts. It hurts deeply. If it weren’t for this faded photo from the primaries, I wouldn’t even remember what you look like.
Mom, you take me for granted. You think I’m the “good” kid who will love you no matter what. Don’t be too sure. And Dad, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but we can still salvage this relationship. Don’t give up on me!
It’s not the money…all I want is an equal share of your love and attention. Although I’ve got to admit, the way you’ve been showering the swing sibs with gifts and nothing for the rest of us, well, it cuts like a knife. It seems we have been written out of your will.
Nevada, Florida and North Carolina are bragging about all the pork they’re going to get and Colorado said you promised her Grandma’s ring.
Apparently there is a Santa Claus, at least if you’re Virginia.
Ohio’s the worst- she’s becoming insufferable. You can’t turn on the TV or open a paper without seeing the two of you sucking up to her. Show some dignity, for goodness sake. What’s so great about her? Why do you love HER more than ME???
Keep playing favorites like this and it’s going to backfire on you. Your faves will spend all your money and leave you old, sick and poor. When that happens, don’t come crawling to the rest of us for help. I’m sure you can count on your darling Pennsylvania to give you a home. A nursing home, that is.
Your Heartbroken Daughter,
Illinois
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Nice!
LikeLike
Thanks!
LikeLike
Some states have all the luck. It’s not fair that some voters are treated to all the political ads while others get none.
LikeLike
Don’t they think my TV stations need the ad revenue? Hows about sharing the wealth?
LikeLike
Well, maybe those favorite siblings would prefer a little LESS attention, ya know??
LikeLike
That’s easy for them to say, they’re not being neglected like I am.
LikeLike
Yeah, neither of them ever remember me, either…all alone, stuck way up here in the corner of the map. I guess they just assume I always like Mom best, so why bother?
(this was hilarious, loved the paint photo…. Pegolego…I smell FP again)
LikeLike
My Paint program has about 10 colors, and none of them is flesh-toned. I think Dad’s head reads more “yarmulke” than “bald spot” as I intended.
Are you safe from the storm there, Darlicane?
LikeLike
Just when I thought you couldn’t top “Darlevanescence”
I don’t think I’m safe from frankenstorm. It’s a-blowin’ in sometime around 4 pm and I’ve got my bathtub full of beer in preparation.
LikeLike
I feel an FP coming on. I was beginning to worry when you were quiet. But clearly, you were writing this masterpiece. I hope people click over today. By the way, how’s that going? I’m curious. 😉
LikeLike
Life has been…complicated lately, Renee. I am enjoying basking in a bit of your reflected glory – thanks so much for the plug! I think I deserve another month because this one just flew by.
LikeLike
I feel the same way, but, let’s face it, when else does Ohio get any recognition except maybe at a second grade spelling bee?
Funny post. You are so clever! 🙂
LikeLike
It figures. That’s why Ohio is eating up all this attention – inferiority complex.
LikeLike
As a middle child, I know the feeling. 😉
LikeLike
Dear “Annoyed in Illinois”,
Does the phrase “count your blessings” have a familiar ring? Do you have any idea what we would give to be a flyover state? Try our first born. Not only are we inundated with uninvited visits from the two “cousin Eddies” at all hours, we also have to put up with the most obnoxious neighbor ever. That’s right, I’m talking D.C. here.
Tonight before you retire, and there’s still not a presidential candidate (or mom and dad as you call them) within your borders, please light a candle for those of us who are far less fortunate.
Sincerely,
Ginned up in Virginia
LikeLike
At least you know you’re wanted and appreciated. They don’t even bother to throw a little mud my way.
LikeLike
I live in a state which is firmly on Mom’s side, don’t watch TV at all, yet I still keep seeing and hearing Mom’s reminders not to make Dad head of the household.
LikeLike
When parents argue, it’s always the kids who suffer.
LikeLike
Great post as always lady. Being a Brit, I can’t usually muster up a whole lot of enthusiasm for blog posts about US politics, but I loved this one! I know that whatever happens in American politics does end up affecting us here too, so I probably should take more notice in general, but…ya know?
LikeLike
If you even know the names of the main combatants you’re ahead of most Americans. Sometimes I watch the Prime Minister’s Minute on TV and I’m amazed at how little I know of the British system – fascinating!
LikeLike
Cute, Peg. At first I thought you were referring to our M&D. Then I saw the photo. Whew….
I can hardly wait for all this politicking to end. Sick of the commercials.
We are due to get the after affect of Sandy Nasty storm. Winds are already very high and the next two days it will increase. Sure hope we don’t lose power. School can, that’s OK 🙂 but not the house, please! And hopefully no trees come down.
LikeLike
No, with our parents I KNOW they like me best. 🙂
I didn’t know the storm was going to go as far west as Michigan. Hope you have a freak storm that only knocks out power at you’re school.
I don’t think we’re going to get anything. In fact, it’s cold and sunny here, so I’m going for a walk right after work. Gotta take advantage before it’s dark at 5!
LikeLike
No political or hurricane storm for Illinois… I’m seeing a big “L” on somebody’s forehead!
LikeLike
Yeah, L for Lucky!
LikeLike
Oh, to be a flyover state…I am ready to puncture my own ear drums so that I no longer have to endure the marathon of political ads and craziness. I have considered getting good and drunk and staying that way until after the election…but that seems like a rather drastic measure. I do love your picture, though – nice work, Miss O’Leg.
LikeLike
You poor baby! I hope you find inner peace until this madness is over. Only 1 week to go.
LikeLike
Count your blessings, Peg! Sometimes it’s good to be ignored. My partner and I take turns yelling at the TV; the poor dogs don’t know where to hide!!
LikeLike
Isn’t that sweet – a hobby you two can share!
LikeLike
I feel your pain, Peg. My state just gets a passing pat on the head as the rents are heading to VA. We maybe get a token ad every now and hen, but really, you can tell their hearts aren’t really in it. I almost feel as if we should put ourselves up for adoption! I’m sure someone out there would want us. Right?
LikeLike
They’ll certainly want our $$ once one of them gets in office – whomever it turns out to be. Hmmmph.
LikeLike
VIrginia will be more than happy to share some of those ads with you. PLEEEEZE take them! Thanks for the reminder, I’m votin’ for Santa! He always treats me right.
LikeLike
If he treats you right, you must be a good little girl.
LikeLike
Obama is downright ROCKING the red lips look. I don’t know quite how I feel about it 🙂
LikeLike
Is it wrong?
LikeLike
Lovely. I am eternally grateful to live in a stepchild state.
LikeLike
There you go again..looking on the bright side. I prefer to feel neglected.
LikeLike
That is being a step-child. Peg, I live in Texas, I haven’t seen a single blessed commercial. Not one
LikeLike
I’ve grown weary of all the political jabs and jives on Facebook lately and when I saw your post I sighed heavily and ignored it for 23 hours. Now I can clearly see that was a HUGE mistake. Bravo my dear, not only have you written what someone has already called “a masterpiece” but you made politics interesting for me again. That’s no easy feat!
LikeLike
I’m trying to steer clear of the political sharks and just touch on issues that red and blue can both embrace. Maybe I’m a peacemaker, and maybe I’m just a coward.
LikeLike
Sibling Ohio here. I’m ready to trade in my favorite child status just to have one minute of peace. The last time I watched TV, the first 4 commercials in a row were political.
LikeLike
This reminds me of my Grandma who always talked about our cousins and what model children they were. We hated them on principle because they were her clear favorites. Years later when talking to one of them he said “what do you mean – all she talked about when she visited us was what paragons of virtue YOU guys were!”
LikeLike
Ain’t it the truth? They’re not even playing political ads here. We don’t even count. At first I thought I’d be an undecided female voter and see if I could get some attention, but I’m like Cinderella pre-ball event. Ignored by all but birds and mice. I’m ready to write my own name on the ticket, just to feel wanted again.
LikeLike
Ha ha! If you were a write-in, I’d vote for you Barb. Cinderella For President!
LikeLike
Ha! What a great idea for a post. Because we all know parents play favorites no matter what they say. Just ask my parents. Signed, The Favorite
LikeLike
It figures.
LikeLike
Really? You *want* them to notice you? It’s no fun having to hide your cigs and condoms.
LikeLike
But I’m a “good” kid, Sandy.
LikeLike
Forgot how funny you are Peg! Thanks for the laugh.
LikeLike
Thanks! Nice to see your smiling face again. Well, you know what I mean. 😉
LikeLike
Pingback: Can’t We All Just Get Along? « Ramblings of an Angry Middle Age Woman
And while we’re on the subject, why doesn’t anybody care about CANADA? Illinois, you got a giant party when everything was said and done. But Canada? Nothing but impending winter weather and more of that awful guy in the sweater! Where’s the justice? 🙂
LikeLike