The topic to be covered today is near and dear to everyone’s heart. You will be deeply moved and, at the same time, you will laugh out loud. I don’t wish to be immodest but the fact is that reading this will change your life. It is the greatest blog post in the history of mankind!
At least it was going to be. I forgot what I was going to say.
This is my brain.
I do a lot of my writing while thinking out-loud in my car, as I’ve mentioned before. Today, the most scathingly brilliant idea hit me like a thunderbolt in the McDonald’s drive-through (the slowest lane, naturally.) The details fleshed themselves out in the bank drive-through (the dance lane.)
A near-perfect first draft of The Idea, one that would not require any of my usual, tortuous rewrites and revisions, dropped fully formed onto my mental lap in the space of one lunch hour.
All I had to do was write it down.
This is my…wish I had some bacon to go with this. I love bacon!…what were we talking about?
I rushed back to my office, careful to moderate my speed as I passed Officer Friendly in his squad car. I parked in front of my office (in the space formerly-shaded-by-a-former-tree) and dashed inside. I stopped briefly at the front desk to drop off a deposit slip and pick up my messages (one was about a health insurance quote and the other was a request for a charitable donation.)
Back in my office I quickly fired up my computer, ignoring my full email inbox and the Notice of Anti-virus update that popped up. I got a fresh, blank Word document started and…and…
Nothing.
No Idea presented itself.
I searched my mental filing cabinet. Wasn’t it something about the po-lice? No. Something about banking? No. Drive-throughs? No.
I cudgeled my cranium. How about shade trees? Bookkeeping? No. No.
It was there, somewhere right on the tip of my brain, if I could just access it. Spam email solicitations for shade tree insurance??? No, no, and NO!
It was gone. The Idea was gone. It had taken flight from the safety of my hippo-campus and ended up – Splat! – on the pavement in my head.
I’m very sorry to announce there will be no post today. And the worst, the almost criminally tragic thing is, it would have been the greatest blog post ever written. Trust me.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
If it helps, you’re not alone.
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I wonder where all our great ideas go when they fly the coop?
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I carry around a little notebook so I can write down all the ideas I have during the day. Then, whenever I have an idea, I say to myself, “I should write this in my notebook.” I’ve never quite managed to take that next step of actually writing it down, though.
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I actually do have a little notebook and I started writing stuff down just in the last week or so because of this very issue. The problem was, since I was in traffic I couldn’t use it. In less than 1 mile of driving – Poof! – no idea. I guess I should just pull over to the side of the road, hmm?
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I started using the recorder on my phone, but discovered there’s too much cussing going on while I’m driving.
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Yeah, you don’t want to leave evidence of that cussing lying around, right?
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It’s just that I don’t know how to spell or hyphenate some of those words.
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I have several of those, one tucked in the windshield visor. I write the ideas down, but often I forget about them.
Once I looked at the notebook and saw, “Naked girls in fish tanks.” It took me a little while to remember what that meant (it’s a line from the movie Local Hero, but I’m still not sure why I wanted to write about it. Whatever it was, I’m sure humanity will prosper without knowing it).
Then I started thinking about what would happen if I were in an accident and the rescue crew pulled my notebook from the car.
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As long as they pull you out before the notebook, you should be OK. I can’t wait to see your “naked girls in fish tanks” post, BTW.
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Clearly that post was just too good for this world, but I have no doubt it would’ve been the greatest post ever written.
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I appreciate your taking that fact on faith.
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Well, I’m just going back to bed then
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Wait a minute – you’re an hour AHEAD of us in Illinois – get up, you slug!
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carry a book with you all the time ,in that way you wont forget..
i laughed though reading this, great sense humor….
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Yeah, I can just see me standing stock-still on the street corner, staring at my book and muttering “Now what in the Sam Hill did I bring this for? Am I supposed to go to the library???”
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you have a great way of saying things really, i just laughed again.
i carry a book and a pen everywhere but the funny part is i always come back empty….
so i ramble..
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God, that happens to me all the time. I have a little notebook, but like Laura said, if only I could remember to write this stuff down when these brilliant ideas hit..
This reminds me of that post of hilarious post of yours about writer’s block, when you had bupkes.
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Her day just got better. TWO comments from Maine! And neither one used the word ayuh 🙂
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I always wondered how y’all spelled that – thanks!
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I don’t think I’ve ever said ayuh in my life before, have you? I don’t think I’ve ever heard another Mainer say it around me either.
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My grandmother used to say it. Other than Stephen King movies I have not heard it in over 25 years since she passed away.
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You mean it’s a myth??? (“myth, myth!” “Yeth?”) Another illusion shattered.
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Ah yes. I get bubkes quite often.
It’s kind of spiral thinking to go on about not-writing, isn’t it? Ah well – it’s something most bloggers can understand.
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I have the same problem with posts, and even comments. Trust me, age dims/dulls clear thinking. The world always gets in the way. This was going to be the wittiest comment ever written. Trust me! LOL – Fabulous post. I’m going to reblog it. Dor
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That’s what I’m afraid of – this dimming and dulling is just a taste of the dimming and dulling yet to come. Sigh.
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Reblogged this on Virginia Views and commented:
This really is the most fabulous blog post I have ever read! Don’t miss it.
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My best post ideas come to me in the pool in the early morning hours – while waterjogging. By the time I am finally dry and in the vicinity of either paper or electronics (important for either – trust me) the idea has long since vanished. I am going to invent a waterproof, blue-tooth, voice reconigition dictation device and soon my goal of world dominance will come to fruition. Or I’ll actually complete a post from moment of inspiration to “hitting” publish in the course of one day. Could happen.
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As soon as you get that waterproof, blue-tooth voice recognition dictation device in production I want one! Just remind me to order it, OK?
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Hey, that’s a great idea…wish I’d thought of it…
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My best ideas always come in the middle of my workout. Not a good time to want to quit so I can rush off to write it down…but it does make exercising more appealing to me knowing I can have a few moments to clear my mind and actually THINK for once in the day!
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I sense a pattern here – all these people coming up with brilliant ideas while exercising. We really need to capitalize on the idea – Katy, speed up the production of that Bluetooth gizmo, will you?
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How you can write a blog post about forgetting what you wanted to blog about truly boggles my mind – brilliance, I say!!
This happens to me way more than I’d like to admit…
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You’re too YOUNG to have this problem yet, but maybe it’s the bloggers version of the “big fish that got away” story.
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Aaarrrrggggghhhhhh! I hate when that happens! We could be millionaires right now if we could have remembered all our great ideas.
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I know, right?
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Whoa. This post changed my life. Thank you, Peg.
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Told ya.
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I’m speechless, but, apparently, I’m not the only one. Better luck next time. Maybe you should carry a cell phone with you and leave yourself a voice mail next time… 😉
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I have called my home machine from work to remind myself to bring/get/make/do for the next day or to pay a bill, etc. That way, when I get home, I remember. Next, I may need to put it on a post-it-note. On my computer screen. Then I’l remember the next AM. All that work…
Lorna’s idea works. Now to remember why you’re calling home, between the time you dial and the recording ends. While driving 🙂
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The only problem is nobody ever remembers to check the answering machine around our house. Since we’ve never been able to figure out how to do that date/time stamp thing with it, and the power goes out all the time anyway, even when we check it we have no clue when the person called.
But for blog ideas…this is actually genius. Really – this could work.
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Yes, it’s that short-term memory thing that fails us first, isn’t it. I often wander (and wonder) aimlessly, hoping my synapses are enjoying their nap!
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Dear Peg-o-leg,
I’ll bet it was the idea about the blogger who had a great idea for a post and then forgot it by the time she got back to the office? That would be a life-altering post and probably the greatest blog ever written.
Sincerely,
Your muse.
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Dear A-muse,
Sometimes, when I write about not writing, and post about nonposting, I’m reminded of that Escher-esque picture of a lizard eating its own tail. What does it mean?
Respectfully,
Peg-o-Leg
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They’re hungry?
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Wait…what?…
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Sorry if you came looking for the world’s greatest blog post. It has been unavoidably detained.
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Great post, just forgot what I was going to say…:)
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I may not have a cure, but I know WHY this happens. You do, too. Remember that little ditty you produced, complete in flow-chart perfection, about the gazillion things that are scurrying around in our minds … ALL THE TIME! It really is a wonder we get anything done!
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You know, you’re right. I keep saying the problem with my memory is that the filing cabinet is overstuffed. Maybe a mental organizational specialist is needed here.
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Oh Ihate it when it happens! Still a great post! 🙂
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It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
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That’s what happened to my novel, the Best Seller. Sigh.
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Don’t worry, Elyse..your fab idea will probably arrive in my brain tomorrow! I’ll keep you posted. If mine shows up in yours, let me know, OK?
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OK. We can split the royalties.
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We’ll split yours. It’s possible mine wasn’t quite as world-shaking as I remember.
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Will you take a check??????
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Sure! I’ll have to see some ID though.
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That is the single worst torture known to a writer. I think it’s worse than not having anything to write at all. And you just know that, even if it does come to you again, you won’t be able to get it down the way you had it in your head. It won’t be as good. (Not that you’re not brilliant.)
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Exactly! The eventually-dredged-up version never has the same (perhaps imaginary?) perfection of the original.
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I go in waves. For a while the ideas will be clamoring to get out the door… then nothing. This summer has been mostly nothing.
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Good thing you can spin nothing into gold, Rumpelstiltskin.
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Each night, my 6 year old son, Will, wants a story so he can poop before bedtime (gotta give him more fiber….). I have made up more brilliant stories off-the-cuff about all things bathroom, (such as the magic rag in the bathtub that can absorb all the water in seconds — and what happens when someone steals it and drops it in Lake Huron) but I forget most of them by the time teeth are brushed, night prayers are said, etc. I was actually going to ask you if you’d like to illustrate the stories! Will let you know if I remember a few of them.
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You want me to illustrate stories to poop by? I’m flattered.
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I’ll get a whole string of great thoughts for one post, and then can only remember one or two. Unfortunately, not enough for even a marginally good post. 😦
I do so empathize with you, Peg!
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It seems to be a common complaint, MJ.
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You’re right, Peg – it is a common complaint. I have dozens of single sentence ideas in my drafts folder. I put just that sentence, KNOWING that it would trigger all of my intentions for a particular post. Now, I look at them and am baffled. (I have one titled ‘Mary and George’ – I know no such people, real or imaginary.) I hope it comes back to you in all of its awesomeness.
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Sparks fly when Mary, Queen of Scots time-travels to 1995 and falls in love with Seinfeld’s George Kastanza in this rollicking rom-com. C’mon Ms. Sweetie – it’s obvious!
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I do believe you just hit on Elyse’s best seller!
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It would be better than most of the reality junk on TV nowadays…just sayin’.
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Omigosh. Why do I want to go to McDonald’s now? That is so wrong!
Must. Have. Big. Mac.
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Go for it! You can always do an extra, oh, I don’t know, 5437 ab crunches tomorrow to work it off.
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I do the Sarah Palin thing and scribble it on my hand with pen. Or lipstick.
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By the time I find a pen or lipstick in my purse, I’ve lost the idea.
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oh i hate when that happens!!
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Dor sent me over here via a re-blog
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Thanks for visiting, Kate!
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I hate when my train of thought gets derailed. And those rolling mental blackouts are the worst part of getting older. I keep telling myself it’s because of all the wisdom I’ve gathered over the years; it’s hard to fit in more stuff. Great post!!
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That’s just what I say! They say delusional loves company.
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A common complaint I fear. So glad I am not the only one. I lie in bed at night and think about a great post I could write and then by morning I have forgotten it.
I love your blog it’s terrific. I am a follower now cheers Judy 🙂
judysp.wordpress.com
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Do like I do and keep a pad of paper and pen on your nightstand. Then, when you wake up in the morning and read what you wrote…you’ll think you took up Sanskrit in the night! Thanks for stopping by, Judy.
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Well I have always wanted to learn another language 🙂
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I suppose you’ll have to go back to McDonald’s for a second big Mac with large fries so that you can find your train of thought again…
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Margie, I’ll have you know I had a GRILLED chicken wrap, hold the mayo, hold the cheese…..(plus a sundae and a few cookies, but who’s counting, really?)
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Funny! Been there. Done that.
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Seems to be a common complaint.
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I’m with Margie, go back to McDs and order a new brain. That’s where I got mine.
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Did you get fries with that cranium, Barb?
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I started using the voice recorder on my phone. i was sure that my best ideas were fading into the vapor before I could write them down. Now I can listen to really lame ideas hours after I record them, and marvel at how I’ve developed this strange accent.
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I know – I don’t sound anything like me when I listen to me. I sound like my sister Judy! Weird.
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I have some sort of weird Delaware/Philly accent that I don’t realize. It’s so disturbing.
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Only weird if you’re not from Delaware/Philly.
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Clearly you’re not familiar with that particular accent. Small example, the professional football team in Philadelphia is the Fluffia Iggles
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Tee hee! No, I’ve never been to either place – I need to get out more.
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The Delaware accent is really the worse of the two, but it defies description.
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Yes…pick up one of those little tiny dictaphone recorders and keep it in the car. But then you’ll have to keep batteries on hand because those things just eat batteries. Then you’ll have to remember to put them on the grocery list so you don’t have to make a special trip to get batteries. This gizmo will take on new life, and you will write about all its marvelous qualities. Have a restful weekend…no worries.
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Thanks, pal. I didn’t have enough to worry about.
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Wow. I feel as if I just experienced greatness! Or near greatness. Or….not. What were you saying again?
I’ve been there. I usually come up with the perfect post, complete with the absolutely most brilliant and hilarious wording…..as I am falling asleep. And then when I wake in the morning? Gone. At times I have jumped out of bed, turned on the light and jotted down the idea. But I always lose the perfect wording. Why can’t I be brilliant when fully awake? Drats!
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You’re so very brilliant your conscious brain can’t even handle all that input.
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I have an amazingly brilliant post – that I am sure will come back to me someday.
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I did have the ghost of an adequate post, previously lost, revisit me the other day. The brilliant ones, however, rarely come back.
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I know I would have been in awe of your truly brilliant blog post that almost was. This has happened to me more times than I care to admit. I keep wondering where those brilliant ideas went. I hope they are happy where ever they are.
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I just KNOW the brilliant ideas went to another blogger who is now getting all of MY FP glory.
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My manager was just telling me I need to start using the voice recorder function on my phone. And by “just,” I mean “about a year ago.” I shudder to think how many perfect posts I’ve lost, but the shudder’s offset by the giggles from reading this post. 🙂
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Learning to use the voice recorder function is a good idea but, frankly, it becomes just one more item on the to-do list. I spend mega$$ to buy an Android tablet to use at home because our old PC is practically shot. But the Word-like app is NOT like Word – I can’t figure out how to move sections of text around, it doesn’t automatically left justify, and it is slowing me down so badly that I really can’t “create” on it.
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I’m still laughing then crying cos its so me…went to write a text to my son bout something of critical importance never mind blogging just simple texting ( prob to remind him to feed his cat) and I couldn’t remember.. It too had gone from the safety of my hippocampus to splat on the pavement in my head (that is sooo funny) what was I saying???? Ummmm yes huh oh never mind it’s just gone splat
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A moment of silence for all the poor, dead ideas on the sidewalks of our brains.
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I wrote a Freshly Pressed post in my mind last week. By the time I get back to blogging next week, I won’t remember a word of it.
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Good thing you have plenty of reserve supplies of genius, Angie. Hope you’re enjoying your vaca!
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Quite possible the most relatable blog post ever written, anyway, Peg.
For me, anyway.
If that makes you feel any better.
Which reminds me…
er…
wait…
what?!
*sigh*
🙂
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Hi stranger! Seems we are all mourning the one that got away. Are you done with your vacation?
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For now… I guess… maybe. My mind is pretty much permanently on vacation though, you know.
🙂
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I had the PERFECT comment for this post and then you brought up bacon.
Mmm. Bacon.
Who are you?
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I see you are also easily dis…could you send me some more bacon chocolate bars? Please?
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I feel your pain, pegoleg. Maybe a lobotomy would help us, cut away all that stuff that’s blocking our brilliant ideas!
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This was a greatest blog post for sure! 🙂
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Hey, I know you from Darla’s blog! Thanks for stopping by. Please tell WordPress that this is the greatest blog post of all time – somehow, they didn’t get the memo.
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I am glad that you know me from Darla’s blog. Yes I will love to tell WordPress that this is the greatest blog post of all time, but for that you have to give me that green Jacket which is now belongs to Darla. Is n’t it a fair deal! 🙂
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Yes, I feel your pain. Or at least, I used to.
Most of my great ideas (along with many little things that I need “to do”) pop into my head when I’m rolling along to-or-from somewhere with the kids in the van (they’re usually watching some DVD and it’s quiet). It’s the only stretch of time that I’m unbothered and able to think clearly. That’s when I pull out my cell phone. Using the memo function, I start blabbing away anything and everything I’m thinking, recording it all for later. When I get home, I simply play it back and type everything into a notepad of sorts, ideas of which can be sorted out later.
I don’t text (too cumbersome) but talking to myself is easy! And quick. And I can be own secretary because I pay well (unlimited coffee) and the benefits rock (I spend lots of my time on the swing drinking said coffee).
My problem is that I have too many drafts and not enough finished posts. My secretary is falling behind.
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That’s a great idea, Shannon! Note to self: figure out if my phone has a memory/playback feature, then figure out how to use it to record reminders. Now where should I put this note so I won’t forget it??
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Maybe the great idea will reappear in your sleep (or at work, where you might also be half-asleep). Should I hold my breath for it to re-emerge, or will doing so cause me to faint and/or die from extended lack of oxygen? 😉
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Nah – don’t hold your breath, Dana. That idea is gone forever…although I did pick up a former run-away just yesterday, so maybe there’s hope.
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