.
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I recently saw the Woody Allen movie “Midnight In Paris”. Owen Wilson plays a modern writer who visits Paris and steps through time to the 1920s. He becomes friends with Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Cole Porter and F. Scott Fitzgerald. If you saw the movie, did you also notice Myron Overglub? He was the nondescript guy sitting at the table with the luminaries. He didn’t really have any lines because he just basked in the reflected glory of his more talented friends.
I can relate.
I slave and agonize over a post. I hit publish and then sit back and wait for the response. Sometimes, in the back of my mind I think. “That was pretty good. Kinda clever. Moderately engaging in a semi-witty kind of way. Maybe the WP gods will like it. Maybe today…Freshly Pressed?”
People give me a read. Friends pop by for a chat. I duck out to read other blogs. I read and I watch. I banter and I read.
It slowly dawns on me. It is a moment of revelation a year and a half in the making.
There’s no way in friggin’ hell this post is going to get Freshly Pressed. Oh, sure, it’s ok, but it does not exist in a WordPress vacuum. It has to go head to head, mano a mano against all of you. The basic problem is this:
There are too damn many talented people on here.
It seems half of them are bloggy friends of mine.
Curse you, talented bloggers! Why oh why must the funny erupt from your cherry-red lips like milk when someone tells a fart joke in the cafeteria?
How can you find the exactly perfect picture to express your thoughts, pluck it out of the billions of bits and bytes floating around the interwebz, and then place it gently (like the jewel it is) in the golden setting of your exquisite prose?
I’m not going to name names; you know who you are. Everyone else, just read what I read. Go where I go. Follow my commenters back to their blogs and luxuriate in their awesome talentedness. Then join me in trudging home to wallow in the mediocrity of Myron Overglubedness.
To all my uber-talented bloggy friends I say; thank you, THANK YOU, for providing us with world-class entertainment. Now knock it off.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Ahh, the elusive Freshly Pressed, oh to receive that glory. I think that’s probably why all these various blogging awards started up, some alternative way to pat each other on the back and say “Never mind, you might never get Freshly Pressed, but you’re still pretty awesome in my book”.
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FP? Who needs it? I’ve made up tons of awards for myself. Why, just the other day I gave myself the Funnier Than Anybody In The World Award! And I really, really deserved it.
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Damn it, that’s the third year in a row I’ve missed out on the Funnier Than Anybody In the World Award!
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You need a better PR man.
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Peg, do you also make voodoo dolls of all those talented bloggers? Or is that just me?
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And yes, I did put a moustache on your voodoo doll!!! MwaaHaaHaaHaaHaa.
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Wait wait wait. Katy, first Broadway plans, and now you’re handing out mustaches??
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Yep…Mustaches Over Broadway is the name of my new play.
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HA! Love it. Misty (Misty’s Laws) just sent me a picture of a t-shirt that said, “I mustache you a question” (and it had a handlebar mustache on it) and now I can’t get that out of my head!
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We need those t-shirts to go with our slap bracelets!
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this is the best idea ever. But I’m lacking in the stitching voodoo dolls department. Can you make me a couple, Katy?
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Send specifics (blonde hair? red heels?)
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Oh, Darla, about that last migraine….totally a mistake. My hand slipped…
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haha! I KNEW it!
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That’s okay, I know someone has one of me with pins in both my head and stomach…for that reason I am keeping the date of my upcoming surgery a total secret…
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I should probably tell you both that Peg Co manufactures a full line of voodoo dolls. Operators are standing by. https://pegoleg.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/announcing-the-personal-mannequin-persuasion-system/
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Dang – are there no original ideas left?
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Katy, you dug around in the archives! Wait a sec..you had a bit of cobweb in your hair, but I got it.
I’m going to have to repost that one – I think I had all of 2 readers at the time.
No, there are no new ideas in the universe. Might as well give up and enjoy the drink of the month. Did you say Sangria for June?
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Hell, no. The drink of the month (according to the missing half of my post this morning) is the Hurricane – for obvious reasons!! That half of the post was damned clever, too!!! Hope I don’t have to try to recreate it.
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Yeah, it’s usually my dog who eats the creative half of my posts.
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It was so creative that Word Press probably censored it so that the rest of you would not feel bad.
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Jeez, no WONDER the tweezers aren’t working for me anymore. I’ve had to resort to my Lady Schick for the facial hair – thanks, Katy!
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My pleasure!! I remember that other picture with your hairy legs – maybe you should consult an endocrinologist? Or send tequila.
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Hahaha. I’ve thought this so many times, but typically stick to the “Oh. Oh wow. Great! Super Great for you and your getting pressed in a fresh fashion. Great. Did I mention great!?!?”.
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I can tell you’re sincere when you say those platitudes.
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Oh, I feel the same way. Curse you, Middlest Sister!
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And by “curse you” I’m sure you mean “bless you”. I always get those 2 confused.
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I can’t believe she isn’t Freshly Pressed every week
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Hey!
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I only mean that in the nicest way, of course.
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You seem to be writing a lot of blogs about other bloggers lately. Is it National Bloggers Week? Is there the same need to glorify the “biz” like Jefferson Starships “We Built This City (On Rock & Roll)” or Joan Jett’s ” I Love Rock & Roll”???? Or is this a naked play for other bloggers to recommend your blog out of pity? (hey, check out poor Myron’s blog; I think he’s planning on ending it all; give the poor chap a bone, eh?) Just wondering….
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Funny, I was just thinking that when I hit “submit” on this one. “Hmmm” says I (mentally) “You seem to be writing a lot of blogs about other bloggers lately. Maybe we should have National Bloggers Day and sing “We Built This Blog on Pure Ego” all over the place? Or maybe that’s enough of this theme for a while.”
The bill of fare here does seem to be getting as inbred as a wedding in the Smokies. Either that or I’m complaining. I was lying awake last night thinking about these recurring themes and I seriously considered getting up in the wee hours to come in and kill this post. But I flipped over, instead, resolved to branch out a little more on the topics in future.
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I agree. If people out there would just stop with the brilliantly talented thing, our lives would be so much easier.
And I thought I heard somewhere if WordPress punches your little FP card five times, you get the sixth one free?
P.S. Was Midnight in Paris any good?
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I WISH Darla. They have a strict limit of 5 because they don’t want you to get hooked. As if THAT would happen. HA HA HA! Never! Nobody cares about that shiz.
I liked the movie – very atmospheric and an interesting premise.
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Yeah. Pbbst. Like anyone would ever get addicted to being FP. Jeeze. Who needs it?
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I think Pbbst is my very favorite homophone (or homonym or homophobe..whatever the word that sounds like what it sounds like) ever written. Pbbst.
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I prefer MllrLt
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Ba dum-dum. Bill, you should carry a snare drum around with you. But I do think pbbst is the sound it makes when you open a cold one – any brand.
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Ok, you got me. It was a Ballantine. Until WordPress starts paying me for this crap, it’s all I can afford.
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Stop, both of you! But thank you for noticing, and being envious. I do try to be humble about it because I don’t want to lord it over you all, mere mortal bloggers.
WHAT??? What did you say?
Oh, snap!! Dammit – you say you weren’t even thinking about me in the slightest when you wrote this post? Oh, I see, I’m just mediocre, at best.
I’ll just go back to my *sniff, sob, sniff* little corner, now.
*hanging head in shame, tail between legs*
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Or maybe a “Frequently Pressed” badge that magically grants the recipient 100,000 hits in one day…
Funny Post Peg. You’ve been FP’d quite a number of times, haven’t you? Me, sadly, only once for a crap piece. Hey, maybe that’s the secret?
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One never knows what will appeal to the FP gods. They are slow to anger, but rich in inscrutability. There are bloggers who get lots of subscribers without being FPd every other week. It must have something to do with that elusive quality…talent?
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I am not sure what real criteria they use for FP’d but I find the ones that are are rarely of interest to me. Clearly, Word Press feels the same way about me. C’est la vie.
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WOW!!! Thanks for the shout out, Peg! And I appreciate your use of the plural to deflect what was intended solely as homage to ME!!! Yes, ME!!! Did I say ME??? Who needs Freshly Pressed anyway? I spit on Freshly Pressed! I wipe my shoes on Freshly Pressed! Freshly Pressed calls me and I don’t return the call! I’m having a party Saturday evening and Freshly Pressed wasn’t invited! I feel so much better now.
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Is it a slumber party Renee? Because I’ve had my combined stuffed teddy bear/backpack all packed with my Little Mermaid toothbrush and pink baby doll jammies for simply ages, just waiting for that call.
And you just play hard to get because you KNOW by being maddeningly elusive that just makes FP want you more.
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This might be the first time in my life I have been called maddeningly elusive. I think I’m just too short for anyone to see me. Hey, where the hell do you live? You’ve probably told every in about 100 posts and put maps to your house but I never pay attention to that stuff. I want to meet you. Seriously.
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Illinois. How bout you? I know it’s not England because you’re always going there.
There has been some talk around the web about getting together in New York. That would be fabulous.
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hahaha very funny…I feel the SAME WAY!!!
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It’s a universal complaint, isn’t it?
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You will aways be Fresh Pressed in my mind. To hell with the “real” Fresh Pressed.”
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Aw, ain’t you sweet? Hey, this gives me a great idea for a made-up award that we pass around to console us for not REALLY winning, like Vanessa said. The “To Hell With The Real FP Award”. Think it will be big?
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It’s true. There are sooo many amazing writers here. And the more people I’ve become “frybers” with (fryber=cyber-friends: I’m pushing hard to get that word to become sticky and get into urban dictionary, but I digress), I am truly amazed at the talent that lives and walks and breathes among us. But geez, I wish they everyone would just take a day off and give this writer a chance at stardom. 😉
Being Freshly Pressed is like a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup rolled in crack. (Not that I’ve ever had crack, but I’ve eaten entire bags of RBCs.) I’ve been Pressed three times and it has been better each time. Until the everyone forgets you again part. But I’ll gladly take those 15 minutes (or 3 days) of fame again.
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Holla, my uber talented fryber (eh? eh?). It IS like Reese’s on crack, and each time you need more, more, MORE to get the same high.
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You’re always Freshly Pressed in our minds.
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What a nice thing to say – you made my day! Now get on over and tell the WordPress gods that.
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This is great, there is so much great content out here that so often I enjoy someones blog and decide to hate them but in a good way because they are so good.
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That’s a good way to put it – we hate them in the best, most loving kind of way. It’s really a compliment.
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exactly
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Maybe there should be a “I hate your amazing talent and incredible wit” button?
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Sounds like we need a whole bunch of new buttons – Byronic did a post on that, didn’t he?
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You forget, I am the button queen!!!
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I forget nothing. Wish you could figure out how to export them to the clueless…like me.
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You have to have the right “theme” only a few allow you to use images in your comments. Mine is one of the few. There are a lot of things I don’t care for about the theme I am using, but I do like to use buttons and pictures in my comments, so think I’ll keep it, for now.
Are you still at work – shouldn’t you be heading for happy hour or something? Remember – drink of the month = Hurricane…
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Peg, you can’t be FP again until I catch up with your current trophy haul. WordPress is obviously aware of my personal rivalry with your Freshly Pressedness and has decided to put you in limbo until I can pull something out of my craphole that isn’t, well, crap. Could be a while. Get comfy.
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You’ll never catch me Jackie, you hear? Never…NEVER! At least probably not this week because I don’t think they FP on the weekend. Starting Monday, well, your awesomality is pretty much guaranteed to be FPd weekly. Curse you.
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Renee (Life in the Boomer Lane Renee) seems to think this post was about her, but, ha ha ha. Peg. *wink*
But seriously – I feel this way ALL. THE. TIME! My Blogroll keeps growing, and now I feel completely exasperated when I find a new blogger to love. Oh and BTW, my mom reads all of my comments on my blog and thinks you’re hliarious. She’s always going on about how great the comments are. I wish she’d stick to strictly complimenting my blog.
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I know what you mean. My sister Tar, formerly my biggest supporter, has branched out and discovered that all my bloggy friends are even better. I’m losing her, LOSING her, I tell ya!
I’m not surprised your mom has such great taste, though. She produced you. But does she comment very often? I’ll have to keep my eyes peeled.
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Ha! That’s where it all starts to go downhill – when our families start branching out.
Babs doesn’t comment too often because she has to log-in as a non-blogger and she never thinks her comments go through. So she comments on my Facebook wall instead!
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NEVER, Peg! I’m still your #1 Fan because, well, ’cause you are SO GOOD!!!
That’s probably one reason I don’t have a blog – the competition is fierce!!! 🙂
Have a great weekend! (think I’ve used enough exclamation points?)
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Whew! Thanks for relieving my anxiety. There’s always room for another good blog on here.
Never too many exclamantion points, never too many diamonds. Words to live by.
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I honestly think the FP process has changed in the last couple years. The first time I was FP’d, it was the same day that I’d posted the post, and I got a nice email from an editor at WP. The second (and last) time, they picked something that had been posted months earlier, and there was no email. It just seemed more personal the first time.
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They are growing by leaps and bounds now – something like half the civilized world has a blog, so there’s a lot of noise. FYI, you would have to have a blog actually ON WordPress to ever get Freshly Pressed again. I think
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I feel your pain. My brother once fashioned The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World from matchsticks, when all I could manage was a three legged cat from Sticklebricks. Such people were only put on this earth to make us mere mortals look bad.
I was misled with the whole Freshly Pressed thing. I was expecting a commemorative mug, or at least a keyring, but nothing. So I fashioned a certificate from magazine cuttings, though it looks more like a ransom note. I really should have thought it through.
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The Seven Wonders of the World have been done to death. But not many people have seen a three legged cat made from Sticklebricks, so you’ve got that going for you.
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Good point. On that note, I once made a very unique fairy with tissue paper, an empty toilet roll, pipe cleaners and googly eyes. It must be worth millions. Go me!
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Tattoos…we were supposed to get tattoos.
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Of course! How could I forget? Am thinking something stylish and tasteful, like dolphins and unicorns in a sea of butterflies, with griffins and pineapples. Oh yes, I can do symbolism.
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Turned out the FP tattoos are only the temporary kind.
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Well Peg, I’m not gonna shine you on, by trying to tell you that you aren’t surrounded by some very formidable blogging power in large numbers, cause sometimes it’s almost as much fun to read the comments and replies here, as it is to read your posts. But I’m pretty sure that you can hold your own, even when surrounded and outnumbered with all that talent, like Custer was by all those Indians at Little Big Horn. But you’re much smarter than Custer was, so don’t sweat it – you won’t get scalped… I could say more, but I have no idea what more I’d say, though that seldom stops me, but this time I’ll make an exception – except for Have a nice weekend, Peg! 🙂
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Thank you, Kimosabe. Right back atcha.
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I’m surprised you don’t get freshly pressed often. Your posts are great. I think all the best writers happen to be funny and so there’s just more competition in the humor category. I’m considering having a kid or something just so I can dominate the parenting category. Or maybe I’ll pretend to have a kid instead.
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That is an awesome plan, Carly!
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Well, I’ve probably had my share of FP but it’s a drug that you can’t get enough of – bloggy crack.
That IS a great plan! They don’t FP humor every day, either, so that makes the competition even tougher. Maybe I’ll pretend to travel and I can dominate the front page with pictures of far-off places that I’ve cut out of old National Geographics!
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I like your plan, Peg. You think we could go to Europe, blog about it, and then use it as a tax write-off?
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What we need is someone, like a magazine, to sponsor the trip and then pay us to write all about it. Who can we get?
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I have actually stopped following blogs that were so insanely funny it made me sink into a deep depression. Just so you don’t wonder what happened to me when I stop popping by here tomorrow.
I loved that movie. It totally spoke to me and my abnormal fixation on the past — my husband was doing a “that’s so you” nudge at me through most of the movie. Great photo use, too!
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That’s what prompted this pathetic bid for reassurance. I stopped by one of y’all’s blogs and the funny…dear Lord, the funny! I decided to turn in my typewriter (that’s what they used to craft stories before computers, young Angie) and become an insurance agent. After I wrote this post.
I loved the twist at the end when the woman wanted to go FARTHER back because the 20s were modern times and, hence, boring. It’s all perspective, right?
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Okay, email me this person’s blog post so I can know not to ever go there.
Hey, did you get internet connection at home? What are you doing online today? I hope you’re not working in the office.
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Work is a relative word. If by work you mean hanging out at my office drinking coffee, reading blogs and eating McDonalds blueberry oatmeal (pretty yummy), then yes. If by work you mean “work”, then no. I usually go the Y on Sat morn, then come in here, then home. I’m heading home to wake my 20-year-old up in a few minutes.
What are you doing this weekend?
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I’m doing this. This and I’m moving my laundry room around to fit in a new stackable washer and dryer set that will be delivered tomorrow. Ours before weren’t stackable so now we’ll have more room. And I’m thinking we can put in some shelves now for our detergent and (Zzzzzzzzzz)….aren’t you glad you asked?
Blueberry oatmeal from McDonald’s? Wild.
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Hmmmm, relatively a new blog follower so had to look up what in the heck is “Freshly Pressed”. Noticed other blog awards exist in reading blogs. However, what bloggers have done in the writing world is to have a “platform”, essential when submitting ms. And I thought “platforms” were shoes of another era!!! Oh, well. Enjoy your blog. Thanks.
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Thanks for stopping by. You’re so right that we all need to have our platform, although I prefer stilettos. There are other blog awards, but Freshly Pressed is kind of the gold standard. We scoff at it while we crave it.
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Hang on – hang on – haven’t you been Freshly Pressed?
I mean, I am the real Myron Overglub, Peg. I only hang out with those who were Freshly Pressed. If you were not Freshly Pressed, I’ll have to unsubscribe.
Meanwhile, I sit in the corner waiting for my nod. Clearly, I’m not uber-talented, so this post was not written to me. Gee. Thanks. *sigh*
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Are you kidding – that’s you in the front seat of my picture, Lenore! WIth your back to the camera. Kind of a funny hat you’re wearing, though.
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Figures. Me staring at all those Freshly Presses bloggers and getting no face time for myself. Yep. Myron’s my name, mediocre is my game.
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And, I write run-on sentences to prove it.
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After reading through all 94 comments I have decided to admit that FP means nothing to me. The first day I posted on my blog I saw it on FP, so I don’t know if that was just a FP accident of some kind. I was online for about 20 minutes. Maybe it was a mirage. However, I have to confess to comment envy. Not many people comment on my blog, although I see the evidence that the blog has been read. This has led me into moments of profound self doubt. Why no comments? Was it something I said? And why do pornography sites keep following me on twitter?
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The comment thing takes some time – don’t worry. As to the porno thing – no clue. Sorry.
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Or, looking at it another way, there will always be blogs like thecvillean which will make Peg-O-Legs Ramblings look like sheer genius. No need to thank me.
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No way! There’s always something good brewing over that thecvillean. Hows the move coming?
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Packing like fools right now. Move date is Thursday. Blog always comes first though.
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My thoughts exactly, Peg. I had to put my bloggy blinders on and stop trying to find new blogs to read. Even though there’s a good dozen people in your comments section that I think are hilarious, witty, and brilliant, I’m scared to follow their links and get sucked into their ultra-talented atmospheres. I’m barely keeping up as it is!
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Boy, ain’t that the truth, Dana. I can’t keep up with the ones I read now. Too, too dang many great writers hear about (present company INCLUDED).
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As a wonderfully multiply-Freshly Pressed blogger yourself I SCOFF at you, Peg.
That’s right.
I said it.
SCOFF.
SCOFF SCOFF!
*but that’s really just hiding my pain, you know*
🙂
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But you’re an ARTIST, SIG. That’s an amazing, real talent! I could never create the cool stuff you do, and in so many different media (medium? mediums?).
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Haha, you said it! Perhaps we ought to institute a little Hunger Games style blog off, survival of the funniest style 🙂 I am totally all about spreading the hits/love though – blogrolled you here: http://cakesandshakes.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/fresh-link-love/
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I can see it now – that would be one, crazy competition. Thanks for the shout out!
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You are very welcome.
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Once you link-sent me over to Middlest Sister, I was crestfallen and forlorn – how could I ever come up with such a great and simple concept? And she nails it every time, so clever!…I’ve been depressed for days. Too true – enormous talent around these parts. And lots of funny. ::shrugs:: Oh, well. Maybe some of us will only be awarded the FP Honors post-humously. Or, post-humorously, as it were 😦
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Ha ha – post humorously. Love it!
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Every time I read the Good Greatsby I weep a little because I know as long as that dude’s around I’m doomed. I need a knife sharpener for my brain
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