You love me, you love me not. You love me...
I have a friend who uses Facebook almost exclusively for emotional blackmail.
When I say “friend”, I mean in the new Facebook sense. This is someone I barely remember from high school, and whose friend request I stupidly approved when I first signed up and didn’t know any better.
I used to think the most annoying thing about Facebook was the constant status updates from those who wanted gold, billy goats, or some other cyber crap because they were playing Farmville or Pioneer Trail games all day. Now I realize that the emotionally needy “friend” is much worse.
Almost every day, my friend’s status updates appear on my Home Page bearing a new friendship litmus test. She posted all the following in just one month:
· I need prayers so bad right now.!!!! Hope someone cares. If u are my friend click the like button & then re-post. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my “Facebook Family” wherever u may be to kindly copy, paste and share this status for one hour to give a prayer of support to all those who have family problems, struggles and worries and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us for no-one is immune. I hope to see this on the walls of all my friends just for moral support. I know some will!! I did it for a friend and you can too. Share some faith and love for those in need. Life works in strange ways.
· I cried when you passed away. I still cry today. Although I loved you dearly, I couldn’t make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke my heart to prove to me he only takes the best.
Keep this rose going for anyone in heaven that you’ve loved and lost – but never forgot
_____/)___/)______./¯”””/’)
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\)¯¯\)¯¯¯’\_„„„,\)
Put this up as your status, most of you won’t – but respect to those that do…..to all our loved ones. Missing you especially during the holidays ahead.
· I don’t need an angel on my Christmas tree , I already have one in Heaven looking down on me! . . . . Put this as your status if there is someone in heaven you wish could be with you this Christmas. ♥
· I am not hot or gorgeous, I don’t have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I’m far from being considered a model but I’m ME. I eat food, I have curves, I love my Pj’s, and I go without makeup. I’m random and crazy, I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. I am who I am, you can love me or not (ask me if I care). I won’t change!! And if i love you, I do it with all my heart!! I make no apologies for the way I am. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who you are…..HELL YEA
. This is the eye test. Look for the LOWER case ‘L’ and you will be kissed tomorrow! LLLLLLLLLl LLLLLLL. Now look for the ‘N’. This is really hard. MMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMMMMM. Now find the mistake ABCDEFGHIJ KLNMOPQRSTUVWXYZ. Now wish for something you really want after the countdown! 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1, now close your eyes and make a wish *********. Now put this as your status and your wish will come true! you have 19 minutes. Or what you wished for will be the opposite
· I personally believe in Jesus Christ. A man on face book has challenged all believers to put this on their wall. The Bible says, “If you deny Me in front of your peers, I will deny you in front of my Father”. This is a simple test. If you love God and you are not afraid to show it, re-post this. I proudly did. Will you?
· Dear Santa, I don’t want much for Christmas, I just want the person reading this to be happy. Friends are the fruit cake of life — some nutty, some soaked in alcohol, some sweet, but mix them together and they’re my friends. At Christmas you always hear people talking about what they want & bought. This is what I want: I want people who are sick with no cure to be able to be cured. I want children with no families to be adopted. I want people to never have to worry about food, shelter & heat. I want peace and love for everyone! Now, let’s see how many people re-post this….I have a feeling I am gonna see almost no re-posts. PLEASE prove me wrong
· Friendships are special… So lets start a friendship ring… If you are my friend, click the like button and then re-post… If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand
· Many people have passed away early! – When we look at the sky, we LOVE the idea that they look back at us. We remember them often, at night, when we look at the stars … a date … a song … somewhere … a smell … A memory of those who left us ..ALWAYS LOVED, deeply missed ..Post this as your status if you have someone keeping an eye on you from above….I know I do!♥
“Hope someone cares”, “if you are my friend”, “let’s see who reposts this”, “most of you won’t post this” – do we notice a common theme here? It’s emotional blackmail. The message is clear: if you don’t do as I say, you don’t care about me.
I have nothing against status updates that ask for prayers, or pass on inspiring messages. These can make me stop and think, and are often rather sweet. But how about if we agree to leave off the “pass it on or else” riders?
If everyone reading my blog would repost this to his or her own WordPress page, we could put an end to emotional blackmail on Facebook. If you don’t repost this or pingback, I’ll know you want me to come down with a bad case of toenail fungus.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Awesome! You’ve said it all.
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Right on!
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lol! and I thought the regular invitations a girl I didn’t know well in elementary school sends me on a regular basis were irritating – your ‘friend’ wins!
Be strong, don’t cave in – you can’t give in to blackmailers, it’ll only make them ask for more! 😛
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This week’s was the worst ever. She posted a picture of a little bald girl and said “repost this unless your too cool to care about childhood cancer.” News flash: EVERYbody hates childhood cancer. Everybody in the entire, friggin’ world wants little kids not to be sick. But posting a picture on Facebook does not generate a cure.
I don’t know which made me more mad; this status post, or the fact that she ALWAYS misspells your/you’re.
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I curse you and your demands! You will have toenail fungus–mua ha ha! I am evil like that.
See this is why I hate Facebook. Between all of the emotional blackmailing and demanding I give someone a cyber billy goat, I have had it. It all feels too much like second grade all over again.
My favorite is when a ‘friend’ posts a status that is intentionally vague and ominous. For ex:
“At emergency room!!! Please pray for me!” Then they wait for a hundred comments asking what is wrong before they let you in on the crisis. “I had a migraine, but I’m okay now.” Too much drama for this mama…
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Exactly – second grade without the fun birthday parties. Drama queens are having a field day with Facebook! And my feet are starting to feel a little funny…
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Quick, Peg, wipe your toes down with rubbing alcohol, cover them with petroleum jelly, and go barefoot because you might be in trouble!
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Hubby and I usually save that sort of activity for a Friday night when the kids are out of the house.
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UNFRIEND this annoying woman who clearly has issues and way too much time on her hands!
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I have 3 friends who are annoying the heck out of me:
1) post this if you love me lady
2) I need billy goats and cyber gold professional online gamer
3) uplifting message of the day that’s always about stomping on negative people chick.
I want to ask each of them – don’t you have a life?
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De-friend, de-friend, de-friend! Buh-Bye psycho woman!
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But will she get some kind of notice if I de-friend her?
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Nah – no notice. she will just see her friend count go down by ‘1’. And if she has lots of friends on her list, it will be hard to know who abandoned her.
However, I do see an upcoming status post by her: “Whoever ‘de-friended’ me, I want you to know, that you are not my friend. You never were my friend, but I was a good friend to you. You do not know how to be my friend, you do not deserve me! If you ARE my friend and agree with me, RE-POST this status as your status. If you do not re-post this, I will seriously de-friend you, because you are not wonderful enough to appreciate my friendly friendship.”
The good news is, now that you’ve defriended your poor speller, you won’t have to read her infuriated, hurt status post 😉
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Ha ha! That would be classic!
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good one, Spectra! 🙂
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Sorry I’d have blocked her updates by now… you know you can do that don’t you?
Drives me nuts ( along with the the requests for Farmville etc etc )
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No, I didn’t know that. But then what would i have to rant about?
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I agree with bigshheepcommunications…get rid of her..she is no friend of yours if she can send messages like that.
One other thing that I dislike is ‘forwards’…I just delete them so they go nowhere.Did you know that these forwards are a major source of viruses
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Oh, I’m with you, Miss P. Sometimes my email box is jammed full of those, and many are reruns from the same people – it’s like they’re on a constant loop!
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Amen! (And I like big sheep’s thought too. 🙂
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Facebook is a fascinating place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.
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I love this post. My main problem with all this is that before Facebook, people had to pretend they were normal because there was nowhere to put all that nonsense. Now, they can declare it to the universe. So they flaunt their virtual gem and barnyard animal acquisitions, they screech their Jesus-loving selves online instead of just going out and working in soup kitchens, they toss dogs and cats and babies and sunrises and sunsets out for public adoration, they post the daily crapola from their “Inspiration/365” desk calendars, they mine the dregs of banalities (“Ugh, Monday”). I think I have to stop now. My golden heart is having palpitations.
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Yeah, the “if you love God you will repost it” test was rather chilling. Somehow I don’t think that will even make the top-10 list of things I’ll have to answer to Him for on Judgement Day.
Have a great Humpday, full of rainbows and puppies, Renee!
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Know that I still love you and your blog, and I will be delighted to send you some anti-fungal cream. Because nothing says love like anti-fungal cream
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Funny, I’ve always preferred flowers and chocolates. But that’s just me.
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I couldn’t have said it better myself, Peggy! I hate those things! The worst one is the one where the poster is about to “clean out my friends list.” It threatens to get rid of anyone who doesn’t respond! Please delete me if you’re that desperate for attention…
Wendy
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I haven’t got that one yet. Maybe because I only have 60 friends 🙂
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Always enjoyed reading your blogs. Keep them coming!
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Thanks so much!
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I would like to change my font colour to red and green so I can go through supposed friends status’s correcting their awful spelling and grammar… but then I’d have no spare time left after that so I just take a deep breath a try to ignore.
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That’s what we need – a cyber editor’s pen that doesn’t require a knowledge of HTML, which I can’t seem to grasp.
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Yes, completely agree! Facebook statuses are the new chain emails. “Forward this or God will send you to Hell/all your houseplants will die/I will know you don’t love me.” I have a select few friends to whom I will pay attention if their FB status asks for a favor or a prayer. That sounds cold, but it’s only because the rest of them demonstrate on a daily basis that they use FB to get attention, and nothing else. Blech.
PS I hope you don’t really die, because I’m not putting your blog post on FB and I would feel really guilty if you did die. So don’t die. Thanks.
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I’m feeling a little weak. Some friend you are…
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Good Lord, I couldn’t even read all the drivel she posted on Facebook. And no wonder I’m afraid to get an account. It would be like walking into the TV when a soap opera is on. ACK!
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It can be kind of interesting, if you don’t get carried away. And I guess I could un-friend certain people, but it’s more fun to complain about them.
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I have had a FB account for about a year. I usually only post a link to my latest blog post. Nobody ever comments on them or “likes” them. This week I posted this link (I hope it works): http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=EVwlMVYqMu4&vq=medium#t=125
People went crazy, comments galore, shares, likes (people finally liked me even the town fire chief who I have never met, but I’m one of his 1642 friends), one would think I had posted a status about going to a soccer game in Elko or something (that woman always gets likes – it’s a SOCCER game folks, what’s to like?). Sorry, I got a little carried away.
Watch the link, if you don’t, you won’t laugh.
I just started following your blog, I can tell I’m going to enjoy it.
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That is hysterical! But I was so afraid one of those dogs was going to get poked in the eye with a fork.
So you’re saying the secret to FB success is to find ridiculous YouTube videos to repost? Thanks for the hint!
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She is probably friends with a bunch of people who post those things, so to prove she is a “real” friend she re-posts, then they re-post again because they don’t want to seem ungrateful, so then she has to re-re-post to keep herself good with God and it’s a never-ending cycle of passive-aggressive, attention-seeking craziness.
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You’re right – it’s the new, cyber chain-letter. If you break it, you’ll die, die, DIE!!!
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Thank you for nailing this and calling it what it is! ooo…I feel so much better now.
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It’s blackmail – pure and simple.
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Don’t worry – I posted the link on my facebook, and said that only my {superior and most intelligent friends} (//and the ones who love Jesus and their mammas, living or dead//) should share it on. Those who want to fight any other cause, they’re on their own!
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What about cancer and ringworm? You insensitive clod! 🙂
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Oh. Man. I couldn’t even get through all of those, Peg! And that was just one month’s worth!?! I believe it. I used to hate those Farmville things, too, but you’re right that it’s only gotten worse with this kind of emotional blackmail. Actually, I just got an email chain letter thing at work today that indicated God would bless me today – but ONLY if I forwarded the message on to 12 more people! That’s just mean.
Your ending was hilarious.
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She sent 2 more just this week that are the worst yet. And Farmville now seems to be Farm Town. Is that a different place? I tried to Mapquest it, but no luck.
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I hardly ever check my Facebook account, so I’ve managed to escape many of those, but not emails of the same caliber. I hate it when someone tries it make me feel as if I’m going to let everyone down if I don’t pass on the latest chain letter. I don’t care, though. I refuse to pass those along. Good post.
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Thanks. I get a fresh crop of those chain emails every week, and never, ever, ever (well, very infrequently) pass them on.
I just found you in my spam folder – sorry. Are you ok? Could you breath alright in there?
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Ahhhh. You always validate my decision to stay the hell away from Facebook. May your toe fungus thrive!
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Ditto to what Sandy Sue said. I’ve resisted so far. There are some people I really don’t want to have find me, plus all the internet activity is being charted and compiled somewhere. I am curious to know who the offending old classmate is, however. Maybe email me the name so you’re safe!
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It’s nobody you would remember. Hell, I didn’t remember her (boy, that sounds cold, doesn’t it? Like I was some Mean Girls, high school popularity diva – NOT!)
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Wow… you obviously hit a nerve!! As a former teacher and school administrator I firmly believe in performance assessment. If a “friend’s” performance is creepy, I agree with many above, “be kind to yourself and un-friend!” Those posts send out bad karma… far more contaminating than a toenail fungus!! Another outstanding post P-O-L.
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Carol, I have this vision of you sitting down once a month with a nice cup of tea, a red pencil and a stack of Friend Performance Reviews – terrifying!
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You can block the games so you don’t receive notifications. If you don’t keep in touch aside from these annoying “blackmails,” unfriend. Only allow the content you want. It makes for a much more enjoyable facebook experience.
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Now THAT’s info I can use. I didn’t know you could block the game notices – those are super annoying. Going off to find a 17-year-old to explain how.
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Yes, it’s great to keep a teen on hand for these situations.
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My youngest won’t accept my friend request. What do you think that means?
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I cannot STAND the chain crap that exists on Facebook. The emails drive me batty, too. I will not repost – I repeat – I will not repost! You tell ’em, Pegoleg!
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Me neither. I stick my tongue out at the computer as I hit the delete button on those chain emails! (then I sneak a glance over my shoulder and throw some salt in case I’ve angered the Chain Gods)
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Oh my god, how I hate those “please reposts”! I dread them, but I also dread the idea that my FB friends might feel the same way about my blogposts.
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THat is an excellent point, and one I’ve been struggling with. I put my blogposts on my FB page maybe once every 2 months – I don’t want all the FB friends thinking the only point is to garner readers. But I haven’t posted this one because, well, the lady would probably recognize herself. Maybe I should de-friend and then post it.
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That’s needy beyond needy. Desperate comes to mind. She needs medication perhaps, definitely not the enabling that chain mail provides.
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From what little I remember her from 30 years ago, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I believe FB HAS become a large part of her social life, so that’s just kind of sad and is the primary reason I haven’t defriended her.
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No emotional blackmail for me or from me. I like what I like and others can read it or don’t. They can keep their friggin farms, animals and crops and gather all the gems and jewels they can carry, but I will spend my time in the sunshine reading a good book (or blog) or sharing a laugh with a friend. Everybody relaxes in their own way and has their own beliefs, so I’m not going to sweat the small stuff. Thanks for making me laugh once again Peg! Haven’t decided yet to post on FB tho. May just toss a coin (or not), but I want YOU to laugh, love and LIVE regardless of what I choose to do ya’ know??
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Words to live by, Mary. Words to live by. Get going on that laughing and loving!
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I get a fair amount of “if you care about , you’ll post this as your status”, and I find those pretty annoying — but your friend takes it to a whole other level. But that’s just my opinion, and I’m sure that 99% of the people who read this won’t care enough about my opinion or about the time and effort I put into writing this comment, to reply to it. Will you?
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Ah, the old WordPress Blog Post About Facebook Blackmail Reverse Comment Blackmail ploy. Nice try, clever cat.
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By the volume of comments I’d say you hit a nerve. I couldn’t agree more. Three things about me:
1. I quit Facebook a few months ago. Just too much. And it was easier to just quit than drop “friends” that were annoying.Or to kill them.
2. I have never, ever passed on a chain letter. Not before the internet and certainly not since. However, I did once letter a chain so I could keep track of the links.
3. I have never asked anyone to “please send this on to all your friends.” Not even the one about a horrible virus circulating that would eat their young. I guess I just wanted to see if that would actually happen.
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Um, what was the name of the young-eating virus again?
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I keep getting the ones saying that Madeline Murry O’hare is pushing the FCC into banning all mention of God from the airways through bill number F33-543234521 (or something like that). If I love Christian programing it is extremely important for me to forward a copy of their e-mail to everyone in my address book, and to write a letter to the FCC. That rumor was proven to be bogus over thirty years ago. Why is it on the Internet?
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Some of these email dire warnings are like space debris that endlessly circles the earth, unto eternity.
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Hilarious!
But, seriously…
how many billy goats can I get for re-posting this?!
🙂
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I’m fresh out of goats – hows about a couple of cyber turnips?
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Hmmm… didn’t I just post something similar to example no. 1 above??? Are you writing about me again?? 🙂
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No, no! As stated above, I don’t mind the thought provoking and uplifting – it’s the constant barrage of blackmail I object to. Carry on.
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Wow… just saw this one one my Facebook page about a minute ago… too funny! “On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to meee…. 12 idiots I’m blockin’, 11 Friends just watchin’, 10 Corny topics, 9 Busted Barbies, 8 Friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalkin’, 6 Party invites, Fiiivvveee drama queeennnsss, 4 Game requests, 3 Photo tags, 2 Friends a pokin and a creep who won’t stop in boxing meee. (Repost if this made you smile)”
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So true!
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It sounds like you are getting something out of this relationship, too. You write an article about this person and continue posting her new comments into this comment section eliciting reactions from other people. Attention seeking comes in many forms.
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Well, I haven’t continued posting her comments since I don’t hear from her much anymore, but you’re right about attention seeking – that’s probably something ALL of us do. Thanks for stopping by!
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