To give, or not to give, that is the question.
The English language is complicated. And the American slang version of it is just plain weird.
Take the way we refer to going to the bathroom.
In the colloquial, this is referred to as “taking a dump”. What taking? There is no taking involved here. It’s all giving.
Yet, the expression to “give a sh*t” does not refer to the giving of feces in any way. It denotes caring or concern.
It’s a wonder any foreigners can survive here!
To which you may reply, “I couldn’t give a dump.”
Disclaimer: This post is a result of putting paper and pencil on my nightstand to catch the brilliant ideas that occur to my sleep-fogged brain when it wakes up at 3 am. Sorry.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
LOL The brain is a scary thing, especially at 3:00 a.m. I, too, am so thankful to have been born to this nation and to have learned the nuances of the language first hand. I can’t imagine trying to learn it as a second language.
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I was talking to somebody about English as A Second Language, which got me thinking about all of our expressions. Jeesh – how would anybody learn all this stuff?
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Funny post, Peg. No sense p**sing away a good blog idea at 3:00 0’clock in the morning.
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Tee hee! Sometimes our best ideas occur on the way to the little blogger’s room.
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Excellent job of flushing out your late-night ideas. Well done!
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Hey, I see what you’re doing there – funny stuff!
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More, I say! I want more of these late night thoughts. What else have you jotted down all bleary-eyed lately? Make it a weekly blog thing maybe? “Give a sh*t Saturdays”?
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I don’t know – I couldn’t read my writing. But I’m sure whatever it was I wrote down was life-changing.
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You’re just full of piss and vinegar today, ain’t ya? 🙂
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I WAS full of piss and vinegar, but you see that toilet there…?
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Ha! I’m so glad you had that paper and pencil next to your bed – this made me laugh out loud! “It’s all giving.” LOL!!
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Maybe that doesn’t count as giving in the true holiday spirit category, though.
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Now I am expecting the next foreigner I meet to say, “I don’t care if I defecate.”
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I wonder what word shows up in the translators and dictionaries for that particular bodily function?
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I like “dropping the kids off at the pool.”
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If a foreigner translated that literally, they’d call the child protection authorities!
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Were you drinking before your 3am wake up? See…this is why they had outhouses. So by the time you trotted out and back, you’d be good and awake and could write long poems about craphouse crickets. Still…you’re right. I guess non-natives learn this jargon the same way we learn twenty-speak. By embarassing ourselves in front of our children. “Oh, good grief, Mom. ‘Meh’ means I don’t care. ‘Meeh’ means ‘no’. There’s a big difference!!! (add eye roll).
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I didn’t know those words. I dare not try it, though, because I’m sure to mispronounce and be totally disgraced with my kids.
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Let’s flush it all away! the discrepancies in the language I mean….not your post
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Great advice! But I have a feeling that the slang of each country and region defines it more than its official language.
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This gets me to thinking about the word “get”…get sleepy, get some shut-eye, get a pen or pencil and some paper, get those ideas down, get with it (bleary eyed), get over it, get going, get on with it, get comfortable. Yep, after a trip to the *** you probably got comfortable. You got me thinking.
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This started out with me thinking about words that go together to mean one thing, that is totally different from their individual components ie “passed the time”, and how hard that is to explain to someone for whom English is not the primary language.
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The whole give and take aspect of bathroom idioms kills me. Along with “take a dump,” there’s “take a p*ss.” Who wants that kind of party favor?
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The gift that keeps on giving!
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How long was your mind in the toilet before you came up with this one? 😉
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Apparently I go there when I’m sleeping, because that’s where I woke up in the middle of the night.
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Peg: LOL! i have been in the US for 11 years now and i still struggle with some idioms and
American phrases. its been a long learning curve for me.
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Interesting…
the handle on my machine is located on the left of the tank or cistern.
Well… I’m not sure how interesting, that is, really.
The more I think about it, it doesn’t seem like anyone would really give a dump.
🙂
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I think most people would really care a lot about finding the handle if they gave a dump.
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It is kind of an odd expression. If we really wanted to show someone we didn’t care, wouldn’t it be more offensive to give them a s**t than refuse to give them a s**t?
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It’s a very odd expression, which makes no sense.
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Another phrase that people use when they don’t care is, “I could care less.” To me that means that they at least care a little. If they don’t care at all, shouldn’t the phrase be, “I couldn’t care less?”
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And I’ve heard people say both versions. You and I know what it means, but pity the poor immigrant trying to follow such rules!
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I think the ‘I could care less’ comment is supposed to be followed up with a ‘but I can’t be bothered’ to make it even more insulting?
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I’ve got to remember that little, extra bit of insulting.
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I always struggle to understand what the kids are saying – I mean if something is the dogs boll*cks surely it’s a bad thing? But no it means it’s really cool….
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I know our dog seems to really enjoy his boll*cks, but I didn’t know they were considered a good thing for the wider world. Live and learn!
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This does make one wonder how a poor foreigner would feel if you told him you didn’t give a s**t because you were angry. He’d probably have no motivation to make you happy, for fear you’d hand him a big slopping handful of crap.
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That would be a pretty rude thing to say to a visitor to our shores, eh?
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I actually have a somewhat half-baked theory for this: “a dump” is the act of, um, dumping, not the substance being dumped. I’m not sure why you’d “take” the act of dumping, but maybe it’s related to the way that British people “take” a decision.
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Oh, I’m pretty sure you’re right about it being an action verb. I didn’t know the Brits took a decision. Is that like taking a meeting?
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We take decisions but we don’t ‘take a ****’ …. see below… no pun intended. . . .
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This is evidence your brain’s a benefit to us all (via our funny bones in many cases, as here) no matter the time of day! 😀
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I always mean to capture my brilliant 3am ideas. I’m impressed you actually did – and that they made sense the next morning!
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So far, anything I’m thinking at 3am is absolute gibberish. But don’t let that discourage you from trying. Thanks for stopping by!
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re; this is referred to as “taking a dump”.
Can’t you just say’ I’m going to the bathroom without being ‘waste product specific’ ?!
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A lady like me would never use this expression. But it’s pretty common in America. And we like to think of ourselves as civilized…
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