WordPress Anti-Spam Knights come riding in, faster than an African swallow!
If you mosey on back through my blog archives, you’ll find a little post entitled Earning The Respect of My Fellow WordPress Bloggers Has Me Humbled. This was not a gushing self-tribute masquerading as modesty, as the title might suggest, but was me taking shots at every blogger’s friend, the comment spammer.
For the non-bloggers in my reading audience, let me explain that we each have a backstage area, or back lot as they call it in the movies, where all the behind the magic nitty-gritty takes place. This is our dashboard. On the back lot, you’ll find a little dugeon where WordPress quarantines comments that don’t pass the sniff test. We might call this our spamalot. (Get it? I’m continuing the back lot analogy with a pun. Clever, no?)
I still don’t quite get how these comments are supposed to help spammers, but I think it has something to do with dazzling readers with their erudition so they’ll check out the spammer’s blog and stay to buy stuff like computers and knock-off designer handbags.
A couple of times I’ve found legitimate comments from people I actually like had gotten caught up in the spam trap, and I had to come to their rescue. I don’t get back to my spamalot very often, what with my busy schedule of winning awards, deep thinking and all whatnot, but I took a stroll over there today. No blogging buddies drowning in spam quicksand, but I did discover something interesting. It appears there’s a new breed of spammer in town.
One distinguishing feature of a typical spam comment is that it’s obvious the sender does not count English as their primary language. That’s also the funniest feature. This new breed has brushed up on their conjugation, and is getting more sophisticated in an effort to defeat WordPress’ ever-vigilant filters.
Here are some new comments, lifted directly from my spamalot:
Quotes about love:
- Keith Bourdages says: “Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.” ~ H. L. Mencken
- Theron Hagley offers: “Love is that splendid triggering of human vitality the supreme activity which nature affords anyone for going out of himself toward someone else.” ~ Jose Ortega y Gasset
Interesting strategy. Who doesn’t like reading inspiring quotes about love? Don’t know what it has to do with selling Coach-ish purses, but this is quality spam right here.
Birthday greetings:
- Sudie Sokorai enthuses: A special Happy Birthday to my favorite person!
My birthday was last month. But it was nice of her to think of me. That’s more than some family members did.
General sucking up:
- test a ipad 2 the keep it for free says: Good review! This is exactly the type of information that should be shared around the web. Sad on the Google for not ranking this article higher!
- Reynaldo Amara says: Thank you, I have been looking for information about this subject for ages and yours is the best I’ve located so far.
I have to agree with test a ipad; sad on the Google, indeed. My only complaint is, why can’t real commenters be saying all this great stuff about me?
Criticism:
- World War Fupa says: The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my choice to read, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you could fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.
I’m sure that this is a new comment spam tactic. WordPress said it was spam, and they should know. Couldn’t be an actual comment from a disgruntled reader. I mean, it’s not as if I ever whine. Everybody probably gets these digs at their writing ability, right?
Right?
If you are being plagued by spam, fellow bloggers, remember that the noble Knights of the WordPress Spam Table stand ready to protect you. Just send up the signal (or click on this link http://en.support.wordpress.com/unwanted-comments/), and they will slay all your spam dragons.
Then you can live happily ever after.
Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings 
Another inspired illustration! I’ve often wondered what the spammers get out of those comments and who is wasting their time writing (and I use the term loosely) and posting them.
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It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me, but they can be pretty funny, can’t they?
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I’m not going to lie – the spam makes me feel kinda famous & important. I did get a “pingback” whatever that is that linked back to a cancer hospital or something though and made me feel heartless when I didn’t “approve” it. Maybe I should remedy that… Do you think reading my blog could cure cancer? I may be even more important than I thought!!!
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Curing cancer might be a bit ambitious for a new blogger. How about starting with curing hangnails and working your way up?
I always allow pingbacks – near as I can figure it just means that somebody is referring to your post. Except once I actually went to the post of the person who pinged me. I found it was somebody’s online work for their masters’ thesis in modern communication. It was about how anybody can have a blog and think they’re a writer regardless of talent. It quoted some Norwegian internet expert and offered me up as an example. I slinked (slunked?) away much smaller than I had been when I came in.
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I like the ones where they ask you questions: “Please be excused to me but pictures are not loading on my (insert very specific phone or computer brand/type), and knowing not what done may be?” … all i can think is…”um. you think that I know what to do in that situation? also, you have your own ‘Nika’ (assuming you mean ‘nike’?) website… I definitely have less knowledge of websites than you” 😛
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And did you try answering these questions at first, because you didn’t realize it was a scam? I sure did, and boy did I feel stupid once I figured it out. I checked out somebody’s About Me page the other day and she had seriously answered all these kind of questions, and I don’t think it was to be funny. They fooled the newbie.
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Best article I have seen on this topic anywhere! Will sure to be following your weblog regularly.
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unless you have compatibility issues with the iPone when singing on the RSS feeds..
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Happy belated Birthday!
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Right back at you!
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and what about the bald headed cop? have you had any from him.
They are harmless..I don’t read them all as some are not even proper English and quite unreadable.
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I don’t think the bald headed cop has visited me. Oh no, now I feel neglected.
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My latest: “La información más completa sobre el mercado hipotecario…”
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Verdad!
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‘Meat’ in a can simply can’t be wrong.
Even it tries to sell you ‘discount prescription drugs’ from the back of it’s van.
🙂
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I like how you put ‘meat’ in typed finger-air-hooks. Are you implying something about Spam? Next thing you’ll say, is that Vienna sausages in a can are not gourmet food.
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I am honored when a new little blog I’ve started begins receiving its proper dosage of SPAM. It legitimizes the whole affair. I especially am proud when they find one of my little homespun photographs and proceed to SPAM the f#*k out of it! I say, Spam on, unholy crew! Feed my ego with your nonsense! Without you to designate my self-worth, Who am I, really?
The saddest thing to me is to open my blog, and find a day without SPAM. Where did I go wrong, you almighty Spammers? How can I better serve your generic needs? Come back to me! Show me some Spammy love…Please?
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It’s not real love, Spectra! Spammy love just cheapens the blogger – it’s meaningless. Just a comment that passes in the night, with no real connection. You deserve more. Demand more!
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Iv nevr receeved spam that tails me I hav pore riting skils or tht i dont hav nuthin intrstin to say! but i dont wine, sos i gess thats wy…
Gee, it is hard to write so wrong. I wonder if WordPress will throw this comment into the Spam file!?
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Nah, I put in a Margie Anti-Spam exception so they know that you’re just linguistically challenged 🙂
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Great article about spammers and the women who love them. How did this not get “Freshly Pressed?” This is the kind of blog that should be circulated to all 2,978,888,917 people who surf the internet daily.
Oh, and did I mention I have some property in the Florida Everglades that I need to let go real cheap? But only to someone whose blog I admire. Call me.
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I don’t think you’re taking this spamming issue seriously, Al. Many newby bloggers spend hours trying to solve non-existent RSS feed problems reported by spammers who only want to sell purses!
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I’ll have you know I take Spam and Vienna Sausage both very seriously. As for unwanted comments, there’s no such thing for those of us who go virtually unnoticed most of the time. Not to mention, the other day I got a Gucci knockoff for practically nothing.
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I’m pleased to see you observe the tone of grave solemnity that I’ve come to expect from you.
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I’ve wondered if some of those spammers have a random language generator that spits out comments at light speed so they can hit all the blogs and approximate English. And if there isn’t such a thing, why, maybe I should be inventing it and spamming the world about it.
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I think most of them buy their material at the Spam-of-the-Month Club, so your invention would be a big step up. You may have struck interwebz gold here!
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The best tool on WordPress is that spam filter of theirs. They don’t delete the message; they let you do that so that you can at least read them and get a laugh. Imagine your spam comments multiplied a billion times, peg. It’s frightening, huh? Of course, World War Fupa’s was just plain rotten trolling – not spam. It deserves a category all it’s own.
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I’ve never heard of rotten trolling, but I’m with you. I much prefer that thought to thinking someone actually read my stuff and hated it! WordPress does do a good job with the filter. Only a couple have ever gotten through.
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I like to live on the edge and read the SPAM posts I get. But I would never, repeat, never, eat SPAM!
I learned a lot from this post, but I’m not sure what… 😉
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I remember grilled Spam sandwiches when I was a kid – they were pretty good!
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I’ve actually sent e-mail back to my spammers saying Really? So glad you like my blog . . .but it always comes back! Or saying SPAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! and I too have an ongoing love affair with the bald headed cop, back off he’s mine!!!! What do they get out of sending us spam? Do they really expect us to take out loans, I just want READERS!!!! Ha, Ha! Great blog, I enjoy reading, I seem to be on the same wavelenght as you . . . have written a blog about this subject, also . . . Take care, belated Birthday wishes and have a Great Weekend! And how dare they diss’ you, damn!
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OK, Evie, the bald headed cop is yours. I’m sure the two of you will be very happy.:)
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You go into the backlot behind your blog? It’s like alleyways of statistics, pingo-mingos, and, people running around in mysterious referral cloaks. You’re a brave woman and if you turn up missing we’ll look for you…starting in Spam.
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I always leave a trail of breadcrumbs. Pingo-mingos? Wha???
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If I can’t be asleep at 3:20 a.m. (or 2:20, or 1:20), laughing my butt off over Pegoleg posts is a pleasing second! 😀
I wonder about this spam strategy as well. Although, now that I see the words “spam” and “strategy” back to back, I see I’m clearly using some very strong language to use this very perplexing ?sales? . . . approach.
I mean, no. My fingers slipped in typing all of the above. I find people strangely compelled to shower me with love when I punch them in the face!
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Sorry you aren’t sleeping, Deb. I’ll leave some hot chocolate out on the blog for your next nightime visit!
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I had to share this morning’s lovely spam with you, Peg:
“Keep up the good work, you have a nice blog over here with much good information! When you post some new stuff, I’ll visit your blog again and I’ll follow it. As I allready said, keep up the good work!”
I was flattered until I noticed the sender was: sexdating.com
So that explains the extra L in already–too busy having sex to spelllcheck.
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I don’t know…even somebody busy having sex all the time can still take a moment to appreciate really good writing like yours.:)
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